What is the social value of sexual experience?

[basincreek]

Does anyone think that a person that is highly sexually experienced has more social value than someone that does not have any at all?

This was something that came up once here before. Where it was hypothesized that an older virgin has a hard time breaking out of their sexless cycle because people perceive them as holding little to no social value.

 

[ConstantComment]

+++This was something that came up once here before. Where it was hypothesized that an older virgin has a hard time breaking out of their sexless cycle because people perceive them as holding little to no social value. +++

Interesting thought. My guess is that because Wetern society doesn't value virginity, at least not so much after the age of 18, then there is no value in continuing to be a virgin. Someone who remains a virgin then suggests someone who is socially awkward or not attractive enough for others to want to make the attempt.

 

[TheScotsman]

What do you mean by social value? Like, the topic of sex comes up in conversation and because you've had sex a lot, you feel like you may have something to add? In that sense, being socially useful?

I'm not following.

 

[D_Edwin Eatser]

I order for your sexuality to have a social significance, it would have to be widely known, wouldn't it? We don't discuss our sexual experiences with others, so society doesn't know about them. The only people who know my wife and I are swingers are other swingers and a couple of good non-swinging friends.

 

[B_quietguy]

People attach different social values to those who have had sexual experiences.

In general, a man who enjoyed a lot of sex with many women is admired as a stud.

But a man who has had few or no sex partners is not.

For women, just the opposite is often true. A woman who had many sex partners or sexual experiences is considered a slut, while a woman who had none or just with a boyfriend or husband is considered a good woman.

The double standard between men's and women's sexual behaviors goes to the extreme in a phenomenon known as slut-bashing. ( Slut Bashing | Psychology Today )

 

[dad4you]

My two bits: As someone who started late in life (40) I was awkward and shy. I didn't feel very popular, that is for sure. Eventually a nice man swept me off my feet and into bed.
I have had an interesting ride in life since then. One of the things that has happened is that I have become more self-accepting in my differences, and accepting of others in their differences. I have become a more social person because I continue to experiment with sex and find many diverse partners . That has been a social tool for me and I think that is the value of sex... to become a more competent human, and more humane in the process.
It has affected my entire life and my views on the value of having others, even in a non-sexual situation, in my life. A magnificent gift in life. Enjoy!!

 

[dirtyparrot]

My guess is that because Wetern society doesn't value virginity, at least not so much after the age of 18, then there is no value in continuing to be a virgin.

Run that one by my Italian in-laws LOL...........and they live in north america

 

[Incocknito]

Seems to be about £250 or ~$395 USD.

X Factor finalist Katie Waissel's gran: I work as a prostitute because I love it | TV News | Now Magazine

 

[D_Etienne Neerdowell]

What do you mean by social value? Like, the topic of sex comes up in conversation and because you've had sex a lot, you feel like you may have something to add? In that sense, being socially useful?

I'm not following.

Agreed - can you define what you mean by social value? Do you mean that people generally don't consider your opinion, on any topic, valuable because you are a virgin?

 

[basincreek]

By social value how desirable the person is.

Thus you have an older virgin and the assumption is that they must have low social value (not attractive, poor, emotionally impaired, physiologically impaired). With those assumptions the older virgin is automatically going to be seen as less attractive.

 

[LaFemme]

In my experience, viriginity has no impact on "social worth". Unless someone tells me about their sexual experiences, I would have no way of knowing. I certainly don't share my past sexual experiences around the lunch table at work!

Plus it seems like virginity is making a comeback! I've been to several weddings lately where the bride & groom are quite proud to proclaim their virginity. I only have their word for it - but that's true of anyone's claim regarding sexual history.

 

[B_subgirrl]

In my experience, viriginity has no impact on "social worth".

I wish I could agree with you, but I don't.

I think that being a virgin when you are significantly above the average age of first time sex says that you are different to most other people in some way. That difference isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it is definitely a difference. Maybe you are a virgin because of lack of social or sexual confidence, maybe it's because of religious beliefs, maybe it's for some other reason; but whatever that reason is, it makes you different. Many people see this difference negatively, in the same way that anything different can be perceived as a negative. Sure there are also many people who DON'T necessarily see it those differences as negatives (I am one of them), but I think it is far more common for people to see older virgins as 'weird'.

Unless someone tells me about their sexual experiences, I would have no way of knowing.

This is true. However, this suggests that people should hide it, and I certainly don't think people should do that. I believe in being true to oneself, and if the subject comes up you should always be honest about it.

 

[deleted3782]

Does anyone think that a person that is highly sexually experienced has more social value than someone that does not have any at all?

This was something that came up once here before. Where it was hypothesized that an older virgin has a hard time breaking out of their sexless cycle because people perceive them as holding little to no social value.

Susan Boyle versus Madonna...hmmm, I guess for many people Madonna would be more "desirable" sexually.

I kinda wish you didn't link "social value" with the term "desirability" because to most people I don't think sexuality = value. For those who do equate value with sexuality, I think they are setting themselves up for a very difficult life because once you get older and are no longer desirable, then you have no value. Slippery slope.

 

[D_Delbert Dingleberry]

Interesting discussion. Deserves attention and thought.

A few contributions:

I think that lecock80 was spot on when he mentioned that "social value" requires definition. That's an almost meaningless phrase. Your definition, that they are more "desirable," begs the response:

Social value assigned to the more sexually experienced is not an outcome or result, but it is a predictor and prerequisite. Meaning, if you are more "desirable" you have more sex. Makes sense, doesn't it?

If I change your definition from "more desirable" to "receives more societal benefits, including respect, social status, acceptance and influence, as well as economic station," and if I stay disciplined and keep to the original point of your question (more sexual EXPERIENCE) I would say that there's no correlation at all, and if there is any it is weakly biased toward:

Women receiving less social value with more experience
Neutral for men, with wide variation according to other much stronger determinants

Determinants such as education, race, familial wealth, personal characteristics, occupation, and whom the sexual experienced is gained with -- among other factors.

It's kind of like trying to draw a conclusion as to whether someone is well dressed by studying the buttons on their blouse. Other factors predominate.

See.

And of course, if the question need be asked (or answered) at all, it suggests a possibility that we all presently need to gain some additional sexual experience -- but specifically the kind of experience where we would be distracted from any consideration of the acquisition or loss of social value.

 

[marriedasian]

i think it would come into play (assuming we were able to tell peoples' sexual social value from just passing them on the street). i mean, if i had a choice, i'd pick a woman who was more "experienced" versus someone who had zero.

i enjoy sex and would like a woman who does to. the last thing i want is to try and figure out what she likes when she's confident enough to just tell me.

alas, that's not possible so i'm patient and just enjoy whomever i'm with even if i have to do a little training or get trained.

 

[basincreek]

So is the desire to get somebody that already knows what they are doing a big factor for why virgins are avoided?

Is this why many find people that have had loads of partners to be preferable?

 

[D_Hammond Happydipper]

Does anyone think that a person that is highly sexually experienced has more social value than someone that does not have any at all?

This was something that came up once here before. Where it was hypothesized that an older virgin has a hard time breaking out of their sexless cycle because people perceive them as holding little to no social value.

Stop putting pressure on yourself

So is the desire to get somebody that already knows what they are doing a big factor for why virgins are avoided?

Is this why many find people that have had loads of partners to be preferable?

I am guessing the

self confidence that scores someone on attractiveness scale a bunch of points

 

[SpeedoMike]

after reading these posts I still don't understand what social value is.

 

[rob_just_rob]

By social value how desirable the person is.

Thus you have an older virgin and the assumption is that they must have low social value (not attractive, poor, emotionally impaired, physiologically impaired). With those assumptions the older virgin is automatically going to be seen as less attractive.

I think that to some extent, this is the case.

Somewhat related point: I have heard of/read musings to the effect that people who are single, in their late 30s and never-before married are perceived in some circles as less desirable partners than once-divorced people. The reasoning being that a) someone out there considered the once-divorced person as being marriage material, and b) the once divorced person did, at one point, make a commitment to a relationship. The flipside being that the never-married person might be that way because they are a commitmentphobe or somehow flawed to the point that nobody considered them life-partner material.

To your point: All the assumptions you listed are held by some people. And on the other hand, I've met women who specifically prefer virgins as sex partners.

 

[basincreek]

I think that to some extent, this is the case.

Somewhat related point: I have heard of/read musings to the effect that people who are single, in their late 30s and never-before married are perceived in some circles as less desirable partners than once-divorced people. The reasoning being that a) someone out there considered the once-divorced person as being marriage material, and b) the once divorced person did, at one point, make a commitment to a relationship. The flipside being that the never-married person might be that way because they are a commitmentphobe or somehow flawed to the point that nobody considered them life-partner material.

To your point: All the assumptions you listed are held by some people. And on the other hand, I've met women who specifically prefer virgins as sex partners.

Where are they? Do you think they would like my type? Why do they prefer male virgins?