What is the source of your insecurity?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by earllogjam, Dec 6, 2011.

  1. earllogjam

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    Ever wonder where your insecurities come from? :frown1:

    Trying to figure this one out for a long time.
     
  2. D_Ricky Dickardo

    D_Ricky Dickardo New Member

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    my environment
     
  3. HiddenLacey

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    anxiety
    fear
    self-esteem
    life situations
    past relationships
    religion
    people

    Most of the time when I feel insecure it's people related.
     
  4. BigGlansDC

    BigGlansDC New Member

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    Having been forced into an early retirement at the beginning of this year, sources of my insecurity are:

    Very weak American economy
    The bad job market
    The direction the USA, my country, is headed
    Inaction of the U.S. Congress to transact the People's in a fair and equitable manner
    Wars and rumors of wars worldwide.
     
  5. OhWiseOne

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    That cat on your nose probably doesn't help either. :smile:
     
  6. D_dft6s43

    D_dft6s43 New Member

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    I'm very self-conscious so I tend to stew over small things more than I should, especially in public. It's annoying and I could do without the extra baggage, but it's who I am, I guess. :confused:
     
  7. HiddenLacey

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    Cuddle monsters always help with the bad feelings:smile:
     
  8. OhWiseOne

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    The fact is I think most of us have some type of insecurity. I guess mine stems from making choices and always doubting the direction I chose. Amazingly I seem to be right a lot of the time....yep bad choice. But I keep going what else can you do.
     
  9. Joll

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    Probably from being compared to others as a kid - and also having unrealistic (impossible?) expectations placed on me.

    I still have those now so have to make an effort to be as slovenly as possible, which works a treat. ;)
     
  10. vibrationzzz

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    Other human beings :) Lies by others I think, keeping my intuition out when I should be listening to it... Robinson Crusoe had the life:)
     
  11. alx

    alx
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    Growning up as a kid and never feeling settled and for not having trust in anyone.
     
  12. dlfellow

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    that's easy...
    from childhood i looked diffrent from most black kids and i was viewed as ugly.
    i carried this trash with me till my early 30's.i made alot of bad choices in my life relationship history..romantic and friendship wise.
    i dated the same type of woman(even though they all looked different looks and body wise) through that perriod and constantly banged my head up against walls wondering why the relationships didn't work.
    thank god it took my ex fiance breaking up with me by e-mail,and me losing everything and almost going homeless to make me wake the fuck up...
     
  13. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    That twinge in your intestines
    I believed the lies others have told me about myself.
     
  14. TheKeystonePlowboy

    TheKeystonePlowboy New Member

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    Yep
     
  15. D_Rufus_D_Dufus

    D_Rufus_D_Dufus Account Disabled

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    Amen Sister!
     
  16. earllogjam

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    I believe mine come from being physically bullied and beat up as a kid, feeling like an outsider and always feeling defeated and helpless - like there was no one but myself in the world. Geez that was painful to write...

    I think is has a lot to do with my tendency to like being alone and my lack of faith in humanity as well, also feelings of being unlovable.
     
    #16 earllogjam, Dec 7, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2011
  17. vibrationzzz

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    A number of years ago I remember running into one of the bullies we had at high school when I went to hire some scaffolding equipment. He was one of the biggest kids back then. One of his favourite things was to stand above stairs and drop the hugest gollies (spit) onto unsuspecting kids.

    Anyway when I walked in it took a few moments to recognise him standing behind the desk white haired, meek, shy and rabbit eyed. No longer the big guy I recalled, just this what seemed like a shell of what I remembered. I introduced myself, he remembered and a look of pain and fear went through his eyes. After the transaction I said see ya Shane, I left with a smile on my face knowing that something had happened in his life for him to be the way he was now. ( terrible me)

    I was never beaten up, I could hold my ground, but then, and since that time I have wondered what makes a bully a bully and others not, and others victims. I realised it has a lot to do with family and the things children are taught in them. Being alone has it's ups earl. It can make you a stronger person and more self aware, I think it shows by some of the questions you ask.
     
    #17 vibrationzzz, Dec 7, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2011
  18. mickstl

    mickstl New Member

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    Hugs, E...

    I've always viewed successfully dealing with the varying degrees of being alone to be a double edged sword. It makes life easier on one hand, but it also can lead to a self fulfilling prophecy on the other.

    I've never been the most outgoing, social person, nor have I ever had an overabundance of friends (or a partner, for that matter...). So being comfortable with living a relatively solitary life has made things much easier in the moment (for lack of a better description). However, it has also very likely kept me from trying to build and develop more relationships in my life. This is something I'm trying to change and hopefully will result in a more balanced life. (And of course, there's a guy at my gym whom I know is in the exactly same situation and I would love to start this "process" with for both our sakes -- but he is a TOUGH nut to crack...not sure if it's going to work out or not...)

    And Vibe, I wouldn't feel too guilty about having some satisfaction w/your bully's apparently less than desirable existence. We all make our choices in life -- if yours was tormenting others, well then he shouldn't expect to get better than he gave... I dealt with bullies occasionally growing up, although I wouldn't consider myself "bullied", nor has it (to my knowledge) affected me into adulthood. But I saw one of them on Facebook recently -- and really got a kick out of seeing the trashy state he never apparently grew out of ;-)

    (And -- I didn't feel guilty later :)
     
    #18 mickstl, Dec 7, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2011
  19. earllogjam

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    Thanks for your post Vibe. Good to see that the law of Karma works for the bully you knew.

    I need alone time but I also think being a hermit is emotionally and spiritually detrimental. I don't think you can grow as a person alone. We all need friends. At least I am. I'm not that strong to go this life alone. I've tried finding happiness alone and it doesn't work well.

    I try not to dwell on the past because it's something I can't change.


    There is a saying...

    "To love and be loved is the greatest gift in the world." which I think is true.

    I hope your gym relationship blossoms into something more than an acquaintance. :wink:
     
  20. kleevage

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    myself.

    i could be so free to control everything and everyone around me, but i don't, and morally i shouldn't, but that gives me insecurity.
     
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