What is the Worst Dating Advice You have Ever Received?

Principessa

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I was just reading an article on The Frisky about dating advice. Now, I have to say of all the real and online magazines aimed at women the Frisky is IMO one of the worst. The writing itself isn't bad, it's the content that consistently borders on the inane to just flat out wretched.

Miracuously this time they got it right. Most dating advice is not only contradictory but flat out bad.
People give advice based on their own experiences. What works for them has got to work for you too, right? Like following a cake recipe, if you follow the right steps, you’ll get the end result you want. Except dating is nothing like baking and there’s no “right” way when it comes to matters of the heart. I watched “He’s Just Not That Into You” this weekend (out tomorrow on DVD) and if there’s a takeaway from that movies it’s this: everyone has a dating tale that is an exception to another person’s rule. Which is why all of the advice I’ve been getting has been making my head spin.
ADVICE: Don’t Hook Up Casually
ADVICE: Hook Up Whenever You Want
ADVICE: Just Don’t Give A Crap
ADVICE: Be Upfront About Your Feelings
ADVICE: Don’t Be That Upfront About Your Feelings
ADVICE: Don’t Listen To Us. We Don’t Know What We’re Talking About.
My friend Elle* been married for two years and with her husband for over seven. “Amelia,” she said, “Don’t listen to what anyone says. I haven’t dated in years. I don’t know what it’s like to date now, and even if I did, what works for me, may not work for you. Just do what feels right.” She did have one piece of advice that finally made sense. “Dating is tough,” she said. “When things don’t work out, don’t put the blame on yourself.” Now those are some wise words that apply to both the exceptions and the rules.

So let's hear it, what is the worst or most contradictory dating advice you have ever heard from friends and family?




I used to get a lot of:
  • "You have to learn to love yourself first."
  • "Be yourself"
  • "You're too nice, be a bitch. Men love bitches."
  • "Stop looking for The One, that's when you will find him." This always comes from somebody who has been blissfully married for 10, 20, 50 years. e.g. someone who has forgotten how to date. :tongue:
  • "You should get a weave."
  • "You should just cut your hair short and wear it natural in an afro."
  • "Wear big clunky earrings, men like shiny things"
  • "Just wear diamond studs, cause men like shiny things."
  • "Hang out at sporting events, cause men like sports and women who like sports."
  • "Only date professional men i.e. doctors, lawyers, dentists, chiropractors"
  • "Only date men who graduated from Big 10 or Ivy League schools"
  • "Only date men who are blue collar workers"
 

nudeyorker

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Well I have never listened to other peoples advice on this subject, but used my inner compass to navigate the terrain. But your bullet points , one, two and four are true I'm sorry to say!
 

hung_proper1978

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That the ****? Being a Yankee and moving to the south a few years ago I have come across this type of crap that I never experienced before. I'm a teacher, middle class, dude. I have gone on many dates with lovely women. Then the dates stop. I find out through a friend that I "didnt make enough money".....yet these women made less money than ME!?! Then there have been some dates I've gone on and then find out I was "not rugged enough" meaning they thought I couldnt fix something or don't hunt etc. And these were college educated women.

I haven't gone out on a date in a year. I gave up.
 

Principessa

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That the ****? Being a Yankee and moving to the south a few years ago I have come across this type of crap that I never experienced before. I'm a teacher, middle class, dude. I have gone on many dates with lovely women. Then the dates stop. I find out through a friend that I "didnt make enough money".....yet these women made less money than ME!?! Then there have been some dates I've gone on and then find out I was "not rugged enough" meaning they thought I couldnt fix something or don't hunt etc. And these were college educated women.

I haven't gone out on a date in a year. I gave up.

I still don't understand the concept of southern dating and I have been here two years now. The only thing worse than dating is moving to a new state or region where they do everything backasswards. :irked:
 

txquis

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Worst advice: "You'll never find a lasting relationship with someone you met through the internet".
 

Bbucko

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The best (or worst, depending on one's POV):

Stop looking, and the right guy will fall into your lap.

Pure, sheer, utter bullshit.
 

nudeyorker

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I've said this before in another thread but if you work on yourself to become the type of person you hope to attract the better your chances are of meeting them... Worked for me anyway!
 

Principessa

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The best (or worst, depending on one's POV):

Stop looking, and the right guy will fall into your lap.

Pure, sheer, utter bullshit.[/QUOTE]
AMEN! I was actively looking for that someone special on at least 3 dating sites when TruckerTexman approached me here. :smile: While I have formed many online friendships here for some reason I never really considered LPSG a dating site. :rolleyes:

Also, I think geography plays a big part. I live in rural Georgia, I have to make an effort to meet people or I won't. It's not like living in NYC, LA, Chicago, or Miami where hot and interesting people can be found at the local newstand or coffee shop. Heck, I have to drive 15 miles just to get to the nearest Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks! :eek:
 

nudeyorker

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The best (or worst, depending on one's POV):

Stop looking, and the right guy will fall into your lap.

Pure, sheer, utter bullshit.[/QUOTE]
AMEN! I was actively looking for that someone special on at least 3 dating sites when TruckerTexman approached me here. :smile: While I have formed many online friendships here for some reason I never really considered LPSG a dating site. :rolleyes:

Also, I think geography plays a big part. I live in rural Georgia, I have to make an effort to meet people or I won't. It's not like living in NYC, LA, Chicago, or Miami where hot and interesting people can be found at the local newstand or coffee shop. Heck, I have to drive 15 miles just to get to the nearest Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks! :eek:
My bad...I thought you lived in Atlanta! But I still stand behind what I said. When I stopped looking for someone to fill the voids in my life and I filled them by myself...I was not looking so hard and it did not matter to me so much that I was on my own... It was then that I met someone compatible. Don't listen to advice...(except mine) Follow your own inner compass and it will lead you to where you need to be..I have faith in you!
 

Principessa

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My bad...I thought you lived in Atlanta! But I still stand behind what I said. When I stopped looking for someone to fill the voids in my life and I filled them by myself...I was not looking so hard and it did not matter to me so much that I was on my own... It was then that I met someone compatible. Don't listen to advice...(except mine) Follow your own inner compass and it will lead you to where you need to be..I have faith in you!
Sometimes you think you know what you want, when what you need is right there, staring at you and waiting for you to come to your senses. :rolleyes: I dissed Tex a couple of times in chat because I thought he was way too young for me. :redface::tongue:
 

D_Neeson Niceone

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One girl got on my nerves a few months ago. We were dating but then she told me she met someone else. I was fine with this, but wanting to learn more about myself and how she perceived me I asked her what changed her mind/pushed her away. It was also strange as she went very quickly from showing a lot of interest to hardly any at all. Her reply was that nothing had and that I should just continue to be myself. Of course, I would never let her see that bothered me but it was worthless advice as "myself" obviously wasn't enough. No one starts dating as "themselves".
 

whatireallywant

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I used to get a lot of:
  • "You have to learn to love yourself first."
  • "Be yourself"
  • "You're too nice, be a bitch. Men love bitches."
  • "Stop looking for The One, that's when you will find him." This always comes from somebody who has been blissfully married for 10, 20, 50 years. e.g. someone who has forgotten how to date. :tongue:
  • "You should get a weave."
  • "You should just cut your hair short and wear it natural in an afro."
  • "Wear big clunky earrings, men like shiny things"
  • "Just wear diamond studs, cause men like shiny things."
  • "Hang out at sporting events, cause men like sports and women who like sports."
  • "Only date professional men i.e. doctors, lawyers, dentists, chiropractors"
  • "Only date men who graduated from Big 10 or Ivy League schools"
  • "Only date men who are blue collar workers"

I've heard a lot of 1 and 4 as well. I still think that 2 is GOOD advice, something that often gets pushed away from dating "advice" books that steer people away from being themselves and encourage rigid gender stereotypes.

The sports one is funny to me because I'm a woman who likes sports, and I also like computers, sciences, car shows, all kinds of traditionally male things, yet I have trouble finding dates! Granted, I'm also very shy which is a big drawback. But I like activities that make it easy to meet men if I go to groups for those activities... I had a running joke with one of my friends when I joined one computer group here and at the time the group consisted of 19 men... and me as the ONLY woman (since then there have been more women as well as men join the group, but I no longer go since it is outside of my realm of computer experience).

The VERY WORST advice I've gotten is stuff that promotes gender stereotypes and saying I should be more traditional, let the man take charge and for me to not be so independent and stuff like that. Geez, do I really have to sell my soul to find someone?
 

Stu Pendous

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the worst advice I've ever been given is any advice on "how to date." I'm a "this is me, take it or leave it" kind of guy and it's worked pretty well since. I will say that if friends (<-- as in more than 3) are telling you to dump it consistently you probably should. There's probably something you aren't seeing that they are. So for me:

best advice: be yourself. worst advice: ...anything other than that