What is true love?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by redkoba, Jan 15, 2006.

  1. redkoba

    redkoba New Member

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    I sometimes think I might be in love, but I don't know whether it's just a crush. I'm so confused. I've never felt this... emotional... before. :ponder: I'm 25 and I was really interested to read one of Dee's threads in which he said that certain emotional drives don't kick in until a few years into adulthood.

    Advice from experienced members on how to tell the difference would be appreciated. I just don't feel I can discuss this with anyone close to me.
     
  2. Dr Rock

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    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    there is no difference in objective terms. this isn't something anybody else can resolve for you, i'm afraid.
     
  3. SomeGuyOverThere

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    From a purely objective point of view "True love" is either:

    A: When two people are so utterly convinced of the other's brilliance that they ignore everything negative about one another.

    B: An excuse to act outside of the bounds of reason.
     
  4. zaphod

    zaphod New Member

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    Love: The condition in which the welfare and happiness of another become essential to you own.

    (defined by Robert A. Heinlein.)
     
  5. B_caneadea

    B_caneadea New Member

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    It's being very comfortable around another person.
    And, accepting them the way they are instead of having a desire to change them. Their little habits that annoy you now, will only become more irritating over time.
    Both people have to want to "spoil" the other person, not necessarily with money, but with words and deeds.
    Affection. Everyone needs to be touched in non sexual ways.
    Making each other laugh is very important.
    Both people have to be givers.
    Both people have to be thoughtful and considerate of each other.

    Infatuation is that dizzy moony eyed bliss when you are in the first weeks or months of a relationship. That's not love.

    I'm speaking from a lot of experience with lousy partners followed by my current partner who is for the most part my perfect match.
     
  6. AlteredEgo

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    I dislike this phrase "true love".

    Having said that, I remember all of the first guys I thought I was "in love" with. And as much as I was capable at the time, I guess I was. I also remember what my mother said she felt for my father, back when she loved him. She said she wished she could have been a virgin for him. She said what she felt for my father was not even comparable to anything she ever felt for anyone else before or since. She said my father was the only person she ever loved enough to hate.

    I didn't know what she was talking about before my ex came into my life. I can not tell you what it felt like to love him, I can only tell you that's what it was. You won't know, until you know. It will be more deeply felt than what you have ever been capable of feeling before. And you will not know what hate is unless you lose it.
     
  7. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    True love is when someone sucks my cock after it's been up their ass.

    Seriously though, difficult question. Infatuation is fairly short lived. I'm afraid you can't tell if it's "true love" until much later. The flip-flops in the stomach (in my opinion) are usually infatuation which can lead to true love but usually not. Ahhh love, elusive love...
     
  8. B_caneadea

    B_caneadea New Member

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    What sums it up for me is that my partner is "so easy to be around".

    Many years ago, an elderly African American lady co-worker said that love is "loving the one who loves you". At the time, that seemed too simple and vague. Many years later, what she said has stuck with me. And, I think that she was correct.
     
  9. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    Absolutely.
     
  10. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    I look at infatuation as that phase when bells ring and fireworks go off. After the bells go silent and the fireworks have died, would you still rather spend time with that person more than anyone else in the world? That might be an indication of love.
     
  11. DC_DEEP

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    I fell in love with my partner when we were just friends. Long before our first sexual encounter. At first, he didn't physically push too many of my buttons, I just enjoyed his intelligence and wit. As I got to know him better, he became more and more physically attractive. Five years later (that's almost two centuries in queer years) bells are still ringing and fireworks are still going off. We still go on romantic dates. True love? It's tough to define, and as BronxBombshell mentioned, you won't know until you know. I guess a good test is to ask yourself, "how would I feel about this person if he/she suddenly was physically less attractive?" If you answer "that would not matter," then it is probably love. If you answer "I would probably move on," then it is probably infatuation.
     
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