What is wrong with girls?! feedback needed.

[693987]

sure sure, again the passive aggressive insult

It's not passive aggressive when I'm saying it bluntly to you. It's not passive aggressive when I'm pointing out that you are either lying or delusional. I'm not making a random vague post in another thread, hinting that someone on this forum is a spouting untruths and saying what all women like, as a male. Saying that I think you're delusional or flat out that you're lying isn't an insult unless you take it as one.

An insult would be saying my former room mate was a disgusting slob piece of shit for a human being. See the difference?

 

[sangheili90]

God, can you guys just stop already lol.

 

[sudcalifornio]

It's ok it happens when girls don't get the guy do what they want

 

[693987]

God, can you guys just stop already lol.

At least the women who have responded to you aren't lying and hoping we don't get caught and we're not saying all men do X, Y, and Z. And we're not trying to speak for men when we're not men. We're also not telling you to be an asshole to get people.

 

[sangheili90]

At least the women who have responded to you aren't lying and hoping we don't get caught and we're not saying all men do X, Y, and Z. And we're not trying to speak for men when we're not men. We're also not telling you to be an asshole to get people.

Continuing to banter back and forth with him isn't going to get you anywhere and is serving no benefit to this thread.

 

[693987]

Continuing to banter back and forth with him isn't going to get you anywhere and is serving no benefit to this thread.

I already posted my thoughts on the OP/intent of the thread. There hasn't been anything said that makes me changes my opinion or have new thoughts to offer. I'm also not trying to "get myself anywhere". I DO respond to people who behave in manners like this, direct quoting the words they say, in the hope that other people will see what kind of a person is spewing bullshit, and realize that it is in fact shit.

 

[sangheili90]

I already posted my thoughts on the OP/intent of the thread. There hasn't been anything said that makes me changes my opinion or have new thoughts to offer. I'm also not trying to "get myself anywhere". I DO respond to people who behave in manners like this, direct quoting the words they say, in the hope that other people will see what kind of a person is spewing bullshit, and realize that it is in fact shit.

Well, by all means continue on if it makes you feel better.

 

[forumguy50]

So I get attention from hot women all the time though I never approach (long story)...anyway, but when a women makes it a point to make a big effort to hit on me I give her attention...

Which brings me to girl A. I'll refer to her as A from now on. So I've been going to a lounge by myself every other day for like a month. So one day I notice A. staring at me from afar. She does this a couple of days but we never have spoken at this point. Somehow we start talking a week ago and last night she is all over me...rubbing my upper arm to my elbow up and down 7 times in a row at the end of our conversation too. So she has crossed way past the typical flirting signs. She play-hits me when I tease her too. She was not even working that section where I was seated so I presumed she is really interested. I mention a musical I want to see and she goes "oh I really wanna see that but I have nobody to take me" <----- A CLASSIC. So I go: I was going anyway and that she can come along if she wants . She says "When?" I go: "Not sure yet" But we had both discussed earlier the musical is over in two days ...so I go "what's your number?" She goes "FB me. I'm an actress and a model so I'm on there all the time" Normally I would wait to contact but since the musical is over soon I FB messaged her an hour later asking "when is she free of the two days left?"

Then I notice she accepted my FB request (it said she did in grey colour under the only FB message I sent her ) and then deleted me since I noticed she is not my friends list. So WTF?!!!

Yes, I'm aware this happens all the time. And women are nuts but why did she make such an effort at the lounge; then add me; 1 min later delete me? Was she creeped out I don't have selfies or some shit? CAN'T STAND MY TIME WASTED. She is 20 years and when we talked about her interests etc. she seemed sweet and normal. I really don't think she just wanted attention from her behaviour....and if that is the only thing I have yet to "hit" back on her so she can't be satisfied she "got" me ...I showed zero sexual interest. I actually said "introduce me to your cute friends"...

So tired of women hitting on me and then acting weird. Feedback would be nice but I wanted to rant too.

She probably was a hustler. Just saying.

 

[Doranq]

Probably feigning disinterest was not wise. I think the best way for me to put is like this.
You want to be interested in her (any her). People like to feel important, so taking interest them is a very quick way to do that. Making her feel special is good.


"I showed zero sexual interest." That's not gonna get someone hot and heavy. You gotta show interest.


Now what you don't do is make her feel like all your plans wait on her. You simply want to make it feel as though you are inviting her to do something fun. Like wouldn't it be great if we xxxxxxx or would you be up to xxxxxxxx, what ever it maybe. I think some people take it too far. There isn't any pressure being put on her. You want to establish an environment where she can freely say yes or no with out feeling as there is any consequences to her actions. If she says no, then it's not a big deal. That's different then it doesn't matter. You want them to feel what they perceive to be a little bit of genuine let down but not so much that it's awkward to the other person.


Don't take rejection too hard. It's fine to be a little bummed out but seriously though... she's just a person... and it's not like there aren't others. On a day it is nice. Go walk around for the whole day and you'll see there are many other pretty girls out there. So if she says no, it's not a big deal. Just don't be so invested.



"I actually said "introduce me to your cute friends"..."

Regardless of the context unless it was a joke and even then. If you were actually interested in pursuing this woman. I wouldn't say that to woman again. Something like that is going to be very off putting. Unless you have some mad game and are just pulling women left and right like you are on a buying spree. Don't say shit like that again. That says to her that she is simply a ticket for you at a chance at a much better opportunity (her friends being the better opportunity than her herself )


Lastly it is possible she has another agenda such as likes the attention, likes stringing you along, or you did creep her out and she is giving you something in hopes you leave her alone. I wasn't there/am not there so It's only a thought.

Either way I think what little I have given you should help set you up for success and at worse you will learn to take a miss less personally and lower your stress level and live a longer/happier life.

 

[deleted924715]

I shouldn't say this, but it is necessary; the more i have been needy, attentive, a gentleman; with a girl they always are mean... even in sexually area is the same.
I was raised by my mom, to be a gentleman with the chicks, my dad used to said to me: "if you are what your mom says, you will end in the friendzone", "unfortunately woman don't appreciate that, they love jerks, or a good-for-nothing guy".
i ended up following my mom thoughts, 0%success with girls, as soon i ended being or using the "wrong" thoughts my dad gave me everything changed.
Sexually is the same, i tried to be loving, sweet, affectionate, did not work, everything changed after i made her squirt, i was a classic selfish macho prick, TNT!!!

i don't like, i don't want to be a jerk, but this is what a girl like...

It's funny that the only people who liked your post are men that, from their posts, have difficulty connecting with women. For reasons completely beyond their control, of course.

Am I supposed to be surprised that you had better results with women when you stopped being needy and broadened your sexual repertoire?

I don't know anyone that says they want a needy partner! Nice guys are not needy. Needy guys are needy.

Just as being needy, spineless and grovelling doesn't make someone 'nice', being confident, assertive and straightforward in their intent doesn't make someone an asshole. Men who only want sex from a woman and are clear about that whilst being personable do get laid no problem (the guys who don't, lack the essential 'personable' element - there is a classic example who frequents these boards). This does not make them an asshole, but other guys jump to the conclusion that women like assholes because they can't get laid.

It's so much easier for people to massacre the definitions of words than to face and accept facts that challenge, sometimes uncomfortably, a person's view of themselves.

Just because a guy is 'nice' doesn't mean he can't fuck until his partner is a quivering, satisfied wreck. Nice guys are perfectly capable of dirty sex - they aren't required to sign a Nice Guy Code of Conduct!

These guys that are claiming to be too 'nice' and blaming all their woes for for this... I don't think you're as nice as you think you are. The definition of nice is "giving pleasure or satisfaction; pleasant or attractive"... which is why nice people tend to have friends. I'm not saying they don't have their own challenges - the odd person may try and take advantage of their pleasant nature, for example, they may shy away from conflict... but the very fact that they are nice means that they are perfectly able to connect with others both platonically and romantically. Saying you can't because you are too nice... Nah.

 

[Masterpumper]

I'm really loving all of you guys' viewpoints on this thread for real. Love learning from different people and a women's perspective especially. ☺

My experience from when I was a kid to now with girls is interesting: me being quiet and sweet got a lot of girls for about 2 seconds but I couldn't keep them. Not saying all women want this : but being aggressive got me more women than ever before as women like to be chased sometimes. Even now my shyness comes out: for instance there is a women who is a total 10 on the hotness scale.She has been giving me "eyes" and "smiles" for months yet I cannnot bring myself to approach and she refuses to engage first so I don't get the woman because im too shy.

lol

 

[AlteredEgo]

It's funny that the only people who liked your post are men that, from their posts, have difficulty connecting with women. For reasons completely beyond their control, of course.

Am I supposed to be surprised that you had better results with women when you stopped being needy and broadened your sexual repertoire?

I don't know anyone that says they want a needy partner! Nice guys are not needy. Needy guys are needy.

Just as being needy, spineless and grovelling doesn't make someone 'nice', being confident, assertive and straightforward in their intent doesn't make someone an asshole. Men who only want sex from a woman and are clear about that whilst being personable do get laid no problem (the guys who don't, lack the essential 'personable' element - there is a classic example who frequents these boards). This does not make them an asshole, but other guys jump to the conclusion that women like assholes because they can't get laid.

It's so much easier for people to massacre the definitions of words than to face and accept facts that challenge, sometimes uncomfortably, a person's view of themselves.

Just because a guy is 'nice' doesn't mean he can't fuck until his partner is a quivering, satisfied wreck. Nice guys are perfectly capable of dirty sex - they aren't required to sign a Nice Guy Code of Conduct!

These guys that are claiming to be too 'nice' and blaming all their woes for for this... I don't think you're as nice as you think you are. The definition of nice is "giving pleasure or satisfaction; pleasant or attractive"... which is why nice people tend to have friends. I'm not saying they don't have their own challenges - the odd person may try and take advantage of their pleasant nature, for example, they may shy away from conflict... but the very fact that they are nice means that they are perfectly able to connect with others both platonically and romantically. Saying you can't because you are too nice... Nah.

Yes! Yes! YESSS!

 

[sangheili90]

I'm really loving all of you guys' viewpoints on this thread for real. Love learning from different people and a women's perspective especially. ☺

My experience from when I was a kid to now with girls is interesting: me being quiet and sweet got a lot of girls for about 2 seconds but I couldn't keep them. Not saying all women want this : but being aggressive got me more women than ever before as women like to be chased sometimes. Even now my shyness comes out: for instance there is a women who is a total 10 on the hotness scale.She has been giving me "eyes" and "smiles" for months yet I cannnot bring myself to approach and she refuses to engage first so I don't get the woman because im too shy.

lol

Don't expect a woman to approach you, its pretty much up to you if you want it to go anywhere.

 

[deleted924715]

I cannnot bring myself to approach and she refuses to engage first so I don't get the woman because im too shy.

*round of applause*

THERE you go. THIS is your problem. Is your problem that you are too nice? That she likes assholes? Or is your shyness crippling you? You know the answer and you have swallowed your pride and admitted it - good for you. It's far easier to keep blaming the unfairness of the world.

I'm not saying it's easy - shyness is notoriously difficult to overcome but the only way you get desensitised to something is by repeated exposure. You will care less as you get older about what other people think, but there is no other way than to put yourself out there. If you get shot down it's not the end of the world - at least you had the bottle to ask!

I think you're right, it's my experience that most women do like to be pursued - fuck knows the type of person 'negging' attracts. Who would you be more receptive to - someone who showed a specific interest in you or someone who seemed completely ambivalent? I don't know if I'd use the word aggressive (although some women love this I'm sure), I'd go with assertive.

I can't think of an example in my own circle where a girl has humiliated a guy who made himself vulnerable enough to go out on a limb and ask her out. She might not say yes, but she wouldn't embarrass him. A guy who has asked her out in an assholish manner might be a different story though (some type of negging, for example, or he might think he's been 'pulling her pigtails' but it just came across as rude).

I'm sorry if you think it's unfair that generally (I said generally ladies!) men are expected to make the first move, I have a son and I know it can be tough... then I remember period pains and childbirth and just think "suck it up Buttercup"

 

[sangheili90]

I can't think of an example in my own circle where a girl has humiliated a guy who made himself vulnerable enough to go out on a limb and ask her out. She might not say yes, but she wouldn't embarrass him. A guy who has asked her out in an assholish manner might be a different story though (some type of negging, for example, or he might think he's been 'pulling her pigtails' but it just came across as rude).

This is the way it should be, a guy is really putting himself out there when he approaches a woman. First girl I ever approached, I was just a few months shy of hitting 20, completely humiliated me and it really fucked up my view on approaching ever again. Its taken me a while to gain an understanding of this, but thanks to a lot of the posters on here it made me realize that was not the norm.

 

[deleted924715]

This is the way it should be, a guy is really putting himself out there when he approaches a woman. First girl I ever approached, I was just a few months shy of hitting 20, completely humiliated me and it really fucked up my view on approaching ever again. Its taken me a while to gain an understanding of this, but thanks to a lot of the posters on here it made me realize that was not the norm.

I have seen this very very few times in my lifetime and the few times I have seen it, it reflected waaaaaay worse on the person getting asked than the person doing the asking. I say 'person' because I have witnessed more than one guy doing it to a girl too. The majority of people have empathy - they get that it's taken courage and even if you don't get the answer you want, you will have their respect.

You can't really use the teenage experiences as a template for the rest of your life, those years only happen once (thank god) and people tend to mellow as they get older. That being said, help yourself, pick your moment - don't ask her in a situation where you might embarrass her, acknowledge to yourself that a 'Perfect 10' may have her pick of guys and be honest with yourself about how you stack up. Asking people unlikely to say yes is a form of self-sabotage I've seen a few times.

Don't get me wrong, I know a guy (I adore him) who is by no means good looking, he's not rich, no particular talents but he is outgoing, chatty and damn funny and feels absolutely no hesitation in walking up to the most attractive woman in the place and asking her out. A lot (most lol) of the time they say no, sometimes they talk to him long enough to fall for his charm and say yes, but he takes it on the chin. He's the first to say he bats out of his league, but he can do that because he doesn't get bent out of shape when the answer is no, he laughs it off.

Everyone has experienced humilitation I promise you - you might not have witnessed it, but they have. It's people's reactions to it that differ. The more experiences that you have, good and bad, the less energy you can devote to a single occurrence

 

[sangheili90]

I have seen this very very few times in my lifetime and the few times I have seen it, it reflected waaaaaay worse on the person getting asked than the person doing the asking. I say 'person' because I have witnessed more than one guy doing it to a girl too. The majority of people have empathy - they get that it's taken courage and even if you don't get the answer you want, you will have their respect.

You can't really use the teenage experiences as a template for the rest of your life, those years only happen once (thank god) and people tend to mellow as they get older. That being said, help yourself, pick your moment - don't ask her in a situation where you might embarrass her, acknowledge to yourself that a 'Perfect 10' may have her pick of guys and be honest with yourself about how you stack up. Asking people unlikely to say yes is a form of self-sabotage I've seen a few times.

Don't get me wrong, I know a guy (I adore him) who is by no means good looking, he's not rich, no particular talents but he is outgoing, chatty and damn funny and feels absolutely no hesitation in walking up to the most attractive woman in the place and asking her out. A lot (most lol) of the time they say no, sometimes they talk to him long enough to fall for his charm and say yes, but he takes it on the chin. He's the first to say he bats out of his league, but he can do that because he doesn't get bent out of shape when the answer is no, he laughs it off.

Everyone has experienced humilitation I promise you - you might not have witnessed it, but they have. It's people's reactions to it that differ. The more experiences that you have, good and bad, the less energy you can devote to a single occurrence

Physically I would be considered a 10, I pretty much have everything going for me, but my personality is very different from other people and I would say it really is the issue at hand. I'm not entirely sure what it is, but people treat me differently for some reason.....don't ask me to explain why this is because I don't have a clue lol. I do think my biggest "issue" is that I am so introverted and detached from needing attachments that it puts people off and they aren't really sure what to make of it.

 

[693987]

Physically I would be considered a 10, I pretty much have everything going for me, but my personality is very different from other people and I would say it really is the issue at hand. I'm not entirely sure what it is, but people treat me differently for some reason.....don't ask me to explain why this is because I don't have a clue lol. I do think my biggest "issue" is that I am so introverted and detached from needing attachments that it puts people off and they aren't really sure what to make of it.

I feel you on the introverted part. I do. I'm extremely introverted and a bit of a misanthrope. It's hard finding someone who you click with. No risks, no rewards, though. While it's not the most fun thing, if you do want someone, even if you're not actively seeking a partner, ya gotta be putting yourself out there some, even if it's just pursuit of hobbies/etc of yours.

As for the "10" for physical appearance, uh, people like different body types. I can think of at least two women on here who prefer their men on the husky, or bit chunkier side............. so you would not be a 10 to them

 

[deleted924715]

Physically I would be considered a 10, I pretty much have everything going for me, but my personality is very different from other people and I would say it really is the issue at hand. I'm not entirely sure what it is, but people treat me differently for some reason.....don't ask me to explain why this is because I don't have a clue lol. I do think my biggest "issue" is that I am so introverted and detached from needing attachments that it puts people off and they aren't really sure what to make of it.

Unless you're auditioning for a photo shoot, you will be judged on the whole package hun. If we're going down the scoring route (which I'm not a fan of - but it's for explanation purposes lol) ... If you aren't particularly charming or can't at least put people at ease, then even someone heavily into looks may consider you a 7 because of this. Someone who doesn't give a shit about looks, only personality may consider you a 2 - do you see what I'm saying? If you make a beeline for the Perfect 10, you need to be able to take rejection on the chin because the hot and funny guy probably asked her out too. Just out of interest, would you only consider approaching a woman you felt was your physical equal?

Regarding your personality... If everyone is treating you different, it's something you're putting out. If I had to guess, I'd say you are now uber self-conscious in any type of social situation and people are picking up on your discomfort, which is making them uncomfortable... which makes you more uncomfortable until it all ends in a really weird vibe. Everyone has been dropped into an awkward social situation where they had literally nothing to say and felt the uncomfortable vibe grow - you get the feeling you could have nipped it in the bud at the start but you left it too late and it grew into a monster and both parties can't wait to escape lol. You seem to be doing this with everyone you don't know though. I posted in the other thread - I think you'll find your feet socially in the workplace.

 

[918177]

This is the way it should be, a guy is really putting himself out there when he approaches a woman. First girl I ever approached, I was just a few months shy of hitting 20, completely humiliated me and it really fucked up my view on approaching ever again. Its taken me a while to gain an understanding of this, but thanks to a lot of the posters on here it made me realize that was not the norm.

I've seen this happen in a crowed room before and can I just offer you this; The people who witnessed it had more sympathy and respect for the poor bastard being humiliated and the fact he still acted like a gent, than for the female doing the humiliating.
She left the venue alone after being curtly rebuffed by several men she tried to hit on because they had seen what she had done earlier.