What is wrong with this woman?!

DC_DEEP

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#1 problem with children today - no CONSEQUENCE , or very little, for their actions.
CG, this is sort of funny... I summed up your rant, and you summed up mine! Lack of consequence - and parental consistency - is a real problem.

"Mom grounded me for that once, but didn't do anything the last two times, so maybe I can get away with it again."

My Mom was very consistent, when she laid down the law, it was non-negotiable, and if I fucked up, I would hear the dreaded words, "Go get a switch." That included when we went to the grocery store and she said, "stay close, don't wander off." If I wandered very far at all, I knew that when we got home, that poor tree was going to lose another stem.

And snoozan, I understand that I was not a 24/7/365.25 parent. But my brother was a cop, and worked rotating shifts. When he had evening shifts, I would pick up my nephew as soon as I got out of school, and keep him until the next morning. That was usually two months at a time. And pretty damned close to being a working parent, and not an easy thing for a high school senior/college freshman.
 

bluekarma

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Maybe, by now, she knows that you can't be in a hurry when you're with a child. Your kid can only go so fast, so you'd better stick with his/her pace.

Haha! How true. I wish I had a dime for everytime I said "C'mon baby, Momma is late...we can study that squished up caterpillar when we get home" :smile: .

CG, this is sort of funny... I summed up your rant, and you summed up mine! Lack of consequence - and parental consistency - is a real problem.

"Mom grounded me for that once, but didn't do anything the last two times, so maybe I can get away with it again."

My Mom was very consistent, when she laid down the law, it was non-negotiable, and if I fucked up, I would hear the dreaded words, "Go get a switch." That included when we went to the grocery store and she said, "stay close, don't wander off." If I wandered very far at all, I knew that when we got home, that poor tree was going to lose another stem.

And snoozan, I understand that I was not a 24/7/365.25 parent. But my brother was a cop, and worked rotating shifts. When he had evening shifts, I would pick up my nephew as soon as I got out of school, and keep him until the next morning. That was usually two months at a time. And pretty damned close to being a working parent, and not an easy thing for a high school senior/college freshman.

Yes, haha, I guess we did DC. My Dad was just like your Mom, and I thank God for that now. At the time, I wanted to scream and run away from home....but it's because of his consistency based love that I turned into the responsible parent that I am today.
 

bluekarma

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True, the problem is, armchair experts watch a blurry 60 sec slice out of a woman and her son's life and from that form a detailed social-psyschological breakdown of the parent and her fitness as a parent, how she should be publically humiliated and made to face 'consequences'. It's as reasonable (knowing nothing else about him) as concluding Hitler was really a nice guy because there's some footage of him smiling happily with his wife or playing with his dog.:rolleyes:

Yeah, it is unfortunate that the media is allowed to make this sort of thing a public case. I've seen much more appalling behavior demonstrated, on an almost daily basis (at times from my own friends or family)...does it get broadcasted world wide?? Heck no, it' gets excused because "Gee whiz, she's a single mother on welfare, she doesn't know any better":rolleyes:.
Fuck that.

Very good point.



I agree, and I don't doubt it...I hope you didn't think that the final sentence related to the other segments you cited - it didn't.:smile:

No, of course not...I was just inserting my big interesting opinion, haha. I like to see myself talk aparantly...:wink:
 

prepstudinsc

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Maybe he did, maybe he didn't, same applies to his mother. I just love it when people make such sanctimoneous blanket statements based on a Internet news report, I just love it.



Yes, that's right and, perhaps she'll become depressed and harm herself or her child - quite likely the boy will be bullied and humiliated at school for his 'dumbass' Mother. Is that what you want?

Nothing like being judgmental is there, from the safety of your keyboard, there are no consequences for you. Are you willing to be held accountable for that....? I thought so.:rolleyes:

You seem to be rather sanctimonious yourself.

I really doubt that the mother is going to become so depressed over something that she most likely doesn't even care about. I don't get how a parent can just walk off and not realize that their child is not with them for a minute. I know that kids can and will escape in no time flat, but it seems to me that most people start getting panicked when the children are no longer with them--especially in a public place like Union Station!

I've seen parents freak out when their child disappears for only an instant, but this mother just went on her way and didn't seem to be in a hurry to find him. I got a kick out of the fact that she just snatched him up and didn't look back.

At least this is something that has no major monetary value--it's basically a spiritual art form. What if this had taken place at a museum and the child had knocked over a priceless piece of art that couldn't be fixed?
A toddler can't really be responsible for all their actions. They are still learning, but a parent can be made to not let go.

It just goes to prove that even children have original sin and aren't perfect.
 

prepstudinsc

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Been there, done that, still have neighbors and family members that won't talk to me because of my poor parenting skills. The funny thing is, I get most of the heat but it was my husband that was at home when my son was bitten. If this is being "held accountable" it's a fucking shame.

What happened to your son is a totally different thing. No one can control the actions of an animal. Animals are animals, even when domesticated. Who knows what made the dog attack, but that is something totally out of anyone's hands. Neither of you could be responsible--especially you, if you weren't there!
 

NCbear

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... He's very well behaved, and I know that I made him that way....

Thank you, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

We need more parents who know their responsibilities and fulfill them. Thank you for doing your part to keep the next generation sane.

NCbear (who was raised by wolves and didn't learn normal etiquette or social skills until college, really)
 

dong20

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You seem to be rather sanctimonious yourself.

Really, how so? I see a tiny snippet from two peoples lives; an instance of childish misbehaviour and a moments inattention by a clearly busy woman, who may not even be his Mother. Again, that's another assumption.

But, it seems you can see far far more; a clearly delinquent parent, unfit in so many ways. I guess I'm lacking your second sight.:rolleyes:

I really doubt that the mother is going to become so depressed over something that she most likely doesn't even care about.

And that pearl of wisdom is based on what? Ah yes, that second sight again.

I don't get how a parent can just walk off and not realize that their child is not with them for a minute. I know that kids can and will escape in no time flat, but it seems to me that most people start getting panicked when the children are no longer with them--especially in a public place like Union Station!

It seems you don't get a lot. Perhaps you could read Snoozan's very real world comments or do they not fit too well with your world view? I can only assume you're not a parent, or if you are, then clearly you're a perfect one.

I've seen parents freak out when their child disappears for only an instant, but this mother just went on her way and didn't seem to be in a hurry to find him. I got a kick out of the fact that she just snatched him up and didn't look back.

You got a kick out of that, good for you. Didn't look back, no but perhaps not everyone expects to find a Tibetan sand painting on the floor of a station, so just perhaps she didn't realise what had happened?

At least this is something that has no major monetary value--it's basically a spiritual art form. What if this had taken place at a museum and the child had knocked over a priceless piece of art that couldn't be fixed?

What difference does that make? or would monetary loss make her transgression even more heinous? I mean it would seem you think the woman should be hung out to dry, had the kid smashed a Ming? What then, have her stoned and no doubt her son (if that's what he is) taken off her. For his own good of course.

A toddler can't really be responsible for all their actions. They are still learning, but a parent can be made to not let go.

Hmmmm, handcuffs maybe?

It just goes to prove that even children have original sin and aren't perfect.

Of course, I just knew religion would find it's ugly face in here somewhere. It rather explains your attitude, You tried to hide it I just knew you would be unable to hold back.
 

NCbear

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...
My dau[ght]er is very well behaved too. I take full credit for it too. It feels good to take a three year old shopping, and be able to browse, shop and carry on in a manner as if I were alone (other than the goofy interaction between the two of us). I see women in stores, wrangling their children to the ground, or screaming at them, or the children ripping stuff off shelves...and I can just imagine how that child is/was disciplined. There was none, and that's the problem....

And thank you too! I appreciate knowing that people are taking their parenting responsibilities seriously.

NCbear (who, in a former life as a lake beach lifeguard and then a YMCA lifeguard, saw lots of poor parenting and even worse child behavior)
 

NCbear

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I think I may be the only person here who doesn't feel righteous indignation at this incident. The truth is, toddlers are toddlers, and parents, even good parents, are going to have moments when they can't react fast enough, let alone act rationally when their child gets away from them and does something like this.

Even excellent parents can't always keep their children within their line of sight at all times. These things happen.
[...]
Go parent your own children and really take a look at how imperfectly you really are, or, if you don't have kids, babysit a two year old for a week and then comment on this.

Also very true.

NCbear (who very much wants to be a parent, but who also is scared shitless by the enormity of the task)
 

DC_DEEP

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Also very true.

NCbear (who very much wants to be a parent, but who also is scared shitless by the enormity of the task)
NCBear, I've never wanted to be a parent - and that is possibly the primary reason. I'm not scared to try lots of things and risk failure, but parenting is one of those things that I would not risk. Would I be too strict? Not strict enough? Give them the guidance they need? No, I didn't know if I had what it takes to be a good parent, so it's always been a no-go for me. And no, I don't "have all the answers" but there are some things in parenting that I think should be absolutes, but apparently are not.
 

snoozan

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At least this is something that has no major monetary value--it's basically a spiritual art form. What if this had taken place at a museum and the child had knocked over a priceless piece of art that couldn't be fixed?

I'm not going to comment on most of what you typed because I think I addressed it in my previous responses and don't feel a need to elaborate, but I did want to address this. Museums are extremely cognizant of the dangers that children and adults alike pose to priceless artwork, which is why they insure the shit out of it and why they take many precautions to make sure this doesn't happen. Museums usually have 2-3 people in each gallery room to watch for theft, but also for things like food, cameras, errant children, adults that point at the artwork and may accidentally touch it, etc. Also, the work is hung sturdily at eye level-- higher than small children can reach. On top of this, many museums have ropes or cordon off specific pieces and even put them in glass cases or plexiglass.

Your comparison is not vaild because it's simply not something that would happen in real life. If this sand art piece were indeed a priceless piece of art, there would have been layers upon layers of safeguards. It wasn't, and there weren't. The monks took a risk I am sure they were aware of when they made a piece of art in a very busy place that was not going to be guarded and/or completely walled off. FFS, it is just as likely that an old person with a walker could have gotten tripped up on the posts of the ropes and fallen right into it.

NCbear (who very much wants to be a parent, but who also is scared shitless by the enormity of the task)

NCBear, I've never wanted to be a parent - and that is possibly the primary reason. I'm not scared to try lots of things and risk failure, but parenting is one of those things that I would not risk. Would I be too strict? Not strict enough? Give them the guidance they need? No, I didn't know if I had what it takes to be a good parent, so it's always been a no-go for me. And no, I don't "have all the answers" but there are some things in parenting that I think should be absolutes, but apparently are not.

Deciding to be a parent when you really put thought into it is absolutely terrifying. And it doesn't get any better when you actually have the child. DC, I have the same worries about being a parent that you do and I have a child. It's a daunting task if you want to raise children the right way. I hope that I do a decent job with my son, and I worry constantly that I won't do right by him. However, I think it's just this kind of thinking that makes one a responsible parent. I'd say you're less likely to be a good parent if you don't have those doubts.

I do agree with you that there are absolutes with parenting and that there are people that are grossly irresponsible with children, and it's reprehensible.
 

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I guess she was either mortified, or indifferent. But sure, a grovelling apology would certainly have been in order, perhaps a donation.

On the test thing; it's curious how those who advocate such things (like a tougher driving test) are almost always speaking retrospectively - they already have children, or a license etc and so, are thus not affected. Would you submit to one as a condition for having another child - after all previous good practice is no guarantee of future excellence?

And, who is 'they' exactly?

Personally, I think it's nonsensical, at least on the parental thing, in part because it's a fundemental breach of human rights but few things about parenting are standard - so how can you pre-assess parental competence with a standardised test?

That's not aimed at you specifically, just punted into the ether.:smile:

I think it is fair to say, if you still wear superman or spongebob underwear you are not ready to be a parent. I do not have children, never will. I didn't like children when I was a child, like them less now.

I am almost 47 and I still put my hands in my pockets when I go into a store with breakables. Of course my parents made sure I behaved or I'd regret it.

Only once did I get the belt when I did not deserve it, and that was when an adult lied. My father did apologise for that when he found out.