What is your attachment style? (online test)

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Harvey Schmeckel, Jun 27, 2010.

  1. D_Harvey Schmeckel

    D_Harvey Schmeckel New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    577
    Likes Received:
    6
    I recently found this online survey, and consider the results very enlightening:

    Attachment Style

    Here's another page on attachment theory, explaining three kinds of attachment one can have with one's parents and subsequently with romantic partners:

    Great Ideas in Personality--Attachment Theory

    excerpt:

    • Secure adults find it relatively easy to get close to others and are comfortable depending on others and having others depend on them. Secure adults don't often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to them.
      Avoidant adults are somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; they find it difficult to trust others completely, difficult to allow themselves to depend on others. Avoidant adults are nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, love partners want them to be more intimate than they feel comfortable being.
      Anxious / ambivalent adults find that others are reluctant to get as close as they would like. Anxious / ambivalent adults often worry that their partner doesn't really love them or won't want to stay with them. Anxious / ambivalent adults want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away.
     
  2. kewlkid75

    kewlkid75 Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    474
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    200
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Tallahassee, Florida
    interesting survey. I took the survey or quiz and I am secure. I trust my partner and I am comfortable with him. We definately love and respect each other.
     
  3. prepky

    prepky New Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2004
    Messages:
    494
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    kentucky
    secure here
     
  4. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Cool quiz!

    Here are my scores:

    According to your questionnaire responses, your attachment-related anxiety score is 1.44, on a scale ranging from 1 (low anxiety) to 7 (high anxiety). Your attachment-related avoidance score is 1.80, on a scale ranging from 1 (low avoidance) to 7 (high avoidance).

    Combining your anxiety and avoidance scores, you fall into the secure quadrant. Previous research on attachment styles indicates that secure people tend to have relatively enduring and satisfying relationships. They are comfortable expressing their emotions, and tend not to suffer from depression and other psychological disorders.
     
  5. polarbear

    polarbear Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2006
    Messages:
    490
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Toronto (ON, CA)
    Right on the axis between secure and pre-occupied.
     
  6. Gillette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,309
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Nova Scotia
    I was half expecting to fall into he dismissive/avoidant realm.
     
  7. lopo2000

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2007
    Messages:
    1,567
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Malaysia
    I don't know that this attachment theory is actually applicable to adult relationship. When I learnt about it, I was studying about the attachment a child has with his or her mother.
     
  8. D_Harvey Schmeckel

    D_Harvey Schmeckel New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    577
    Likes Received:
    6
    I'm in the preoccupied category and the description fits to a T. But have thought about the nuances; attachment to one parent is secure, the other ambivalent. In terms of appraising relationship success possibilities, I'd give a secure attachment one point, an insecure attachment half a point, an avoidant attachment zero. Avoidant attachment to both parents would be least conducive to adult attachments; secure attachment to both parents the most. (This my own pop psych riff on the theory, not anything I read.) Most of us fall somewhere in between I suspect.

    Partner and I have both talked about this theory and previous partners. Secure attachment in either of our previous LTRs was impossible for different reasons. I have many secure attachments to friends, family, colleagues, and the fear of abandonment bs only comes out only in the romantic realm. People who don't have any secure attachments in those other realms, who have lots of ambivalence or avoidance with family, friends, colleagues would seem to be the worst risks for LTRs.
     
    #8 D_Harvey Schmeckel, Jun 28, 2010
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2010
  9. got_lost

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 13, 2007
    Messages:
    2,022
    Likes Received:
    3
    You're right in that it was to do with childhood attachment to primary caregiver initially but further research has shown that it is also directly related to adult romantic relationships too. i.e. that attachment style you had to your primary care giver will be reflected in your adulthood romantic relationships.


    I'm in the 'fearful' quadrant, which I'm not surprised with, considering, though it's more down to lack of confidence that mistrust.

    "Combining your anxiety and avoidance scores, you fall into the fearful quadrant. Previous research on attachment styles indicates that fearful people tend to have much difficulty in their relationships. They tend to avoid becoming emotionally attached to others, and, even in cases in which they do enter a committed relationship, the relationship may be characterized by mistrust or a lack of confidence.'
     
  10. D_Harvey Schmeckel

    D_Harvey Schmeckel New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    577
    Likes Received:
    6
    forgot my exact score so went back and here it is:

    According to your questionnaire responses, your attachment-related anxiety score is 4.30, on a scale ranging from 1 (low anxiety) to 7 (high anxiety). Your attachment-related avoidance score is 1.00, on a scale ranging from 1 (low avoidance) to 7 (high avoidance). Combining your anxiety and avoidance scores, you fall into the preoccupied quadrant. Previous research on attachment styles indicates that preoccupied people tend to have highly conflictual relationships. Although they are comfortable expressing their emotions, preoccupied individuals often experience a lot of negative emotions, which can often interfere with their relationships.
     
  11. HiddenLacey

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2010
    Messages:
    5,470
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    248
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    somewhere
    According to your questionnaire responses, your attachment-related anxiety score is 3.82, on a scale ranging from 1 (low anxiety) to 7 (high anxiety). Your attachment-related avoidance score is 4.00, on a scale ranging from 1 (low avoidance) to 7 (high avoidance).

    Combining your anxiety and avoidance scores, you fall into the dismissing quadrant. Previous research on attachment styles indicates that dismissing people tend to prefer their own autonomy--oftentimes at the expense of their close relationships. Although dismissing people often have high self-confidence, they sometimes come across as competitive by others, and this often interferes with their close relationships.
     
    #11 HiddenLacey, Jun 28, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 28, 2010
  12. blutrane

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2006
    Messages:
    610
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    306
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Jersey (US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Really interesting test. I feel that I've always been the secure type, but after my most serious heartbreak a few years back, I lost a LOT of trust in women that I've had to build back slowly over time. What I've found is that many people have less security with being close, revealing secrets, generally taking their boundaries down around others. It makes it really hard for people who are more comfortable with putting their hearts on their sleeves, so to speak.
     
  13. Enid

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2008
    Messages:
    4,402
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    181
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    My home is wherever reality seems elastic and the
    This was interesting, thanks for posting this.

    Attachment-related anxiety score is 1.38
    (on a scale ranging from 1/low anxiety to 7/high anxiety)

    Attachment-related avoidance score is 4.58
    (on a scale ranging from 1/low avoidance to 7/high avoidance)

    Combining your anxiety and avoidance scores, you fall into the dismissing quadrant. Previous research on attachment styles indicates that dismissing people tend to prefer their own autonomy--oftentimes at the expense of their close relationships. Although dismissing people often have high self-confidence, they sometimes come across as hostile or competitive by others, and this often interferes with their close relationships.
     
  14. mephistopheles

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2006
    Messages:
    1,324
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Hell
    Far out in between preoccupied and high anxiety.

    Funny.

    Whenever I did this quiz I was thinking about my most recent ex.
     
  15. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    secure

     
Draft saved Draft deleted