What is your preferred relationship style?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_quietguy, Aug 4, 2009.

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What is your preferred relationship style?

  1. Eros

    17 vote(s)
    39.5%
  2. Ludus

    5 vote(s)
    11.6%
  3. Storge

    14 vote(s)
    32.6%
  4. Pragma

    2 vote(s)
    4.7%
  5. Mania

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  6. Agape

    5 vote(s)
    11.6%
  1. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy New Member

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    People have different styles for romantic/sexual/emotionally-intimate relationships. What style do you prefer?

    I copied the descriptions wholesale from Wikipedia without editing.


    1. Eros
    Akin to limerence, eros is literally the love of Beauty. It is a highly sensual style of love. Erotic lovers choose their lovers by intuition or "chemistry." They are more likely to say they fell in love at first sight than those of other love styles.
    Erotic lovers view marriage as an extended honeymoon, and sex as the ultimate aesthetic experience. They tend to address their lovers with pet names, such as "sweetheart" or "honey". An erotic lover can be perceived as a hopeless romantic. Those of other love styles may see erotic lovers as unrealistic, or trapped in a fantasy.
    The advantage of erotic love is the sentimentality of it. It is very relaxing to the person doing it. The disadvantage is the inevitableness of the decay in attraction, and the danger of living in a fantasy world. In its extreme, eros can resemble naivete.


    2. Ludus
    Ludic lovers are players. More interested in quantity than quality of relationships, ludic lovers want to have as much fun as possible. Ludic lovers choose their partners by playing the field, and quickly recover from break-ups.
    Ludic lovers tend to view marriage as a trap, and are the most likely of the love styles to commit infidelity. They might view children as a sign of fertility of the parent or of the masculinity of the father. They regard sex as a conquest or a sport, and they engage in relationships because they see them as a challenge.
    The disadvantage of this love style is the likelihood of infidelity. In its extreme form, ludic love becomes promiscuity.


    3. Storge
    Storgic lovers are friends first. Storgic love develops gradually out of friendship, and the friendship can endure beyond the breakup of the relationship. Storgic lovers choose their mates based on homogamy, and sometimes cannot pinpoint the moment that friendship turned to love. Storgic lovers want their significant others to also be their best friends.
    Storgic lovers place much importance on commitment, and find their motivation to avoid committing infidelity is to preserve the trust between the partners. Children and marriage are seen as legitimate forms of their bond. Sex is of lesser importance than in some of the other love styles.
    The advantage of storgic love is the level of intimacy between the partners. The disadvantage is the lack of passion.


    4. Pragma

    Pragmatic lovers are practical. Pragmatic lovers think rationally and realistically about their expectations in a partner, and select them via comparison shopping or shopping-list love. Pragmatic lovers want to find value in their partners, and ultimately want to work with their partner to reach a common goal.
    Pragmatic lovers will avoid infidelity to avoid adverse consequences, and carefully weigh the costs and rewards of a relationship. Pragmatic lovers view sex as a reward or a means of procreation, and view marriage and children as potential liabilities and assets.
    The advantage of pragmatic love is practicality and realism. The disadvantage is un-demonstrativeness and lack of emotion. In its extreme form, pragma can become prostitution.


    5. Mania
    Manic lovers often have low self-esteem, and place much importance on their relationship. Manic lovers speak of their partners in possessives and superlatives, and feel they "need" their partners. Love is a means of rescue, or a reinforcement of value. Manic lovers often discover their partners by haphazard means.
    Manic lovers will avoid committing infidelity if they fear discovery. They view marriage as ownership, and children as either competition or a substitute for their lover. Sex is a reassurance of love. Manic lovers are often anxious or insecure, and can be extremely jealous. Manic lovers respond well to therapy, and often grow out of this style.
    The advantage of manic love is intensity. The disadvantages include jealousy, obsessiveness, and insatiability. In its extreme, mania becomes addiction or codependency.


    6. Agape
    Agapic love is self-sacrificing, all-encompassing love. Agapic lovers are often spiritual or religious people. Agapic lovers view their partners as blessings, and wish to take care of them.
    Agapic lovers will remain faithful to their partners to avoid causing them pain, and will often wait patiently for their partners after a break-up. Marriage and children are sacred trusts, and sex is a gift between two people. Agapic love believes itself to be unconditional, though lovers taking an agapic stance to relationships risk suffering from inattention to their own needs.
    The advantage of agapic love is its generosity. A disadvantage is that it can induce feelings of guilt or incompetence in a partner. In its deviant form, agape becomes martyrdom.
     
  2. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy New Member

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    At times, I'd pick Eros, and at other times, I'd choose Storge.
     
  3. Enid

    Gold Member

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    eros
     
  4. B_mitchymo

    B_mitchymo New Member

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    Agape and Pragma seem most like my style, perhaps a multi-vote would have been good with this one cos i could pick bits from all of them.
     
  5. lickme69

    lickme69 New Member

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    Definitely Eros
     
  6. pornographicpoet

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    Storge.....to be honest, I often fall in love with my friends. But I'm too scared to make something happen with them for fear it would ruin the friendship, so I just go from one relationship to another....:(
     
  7. invisibleman

    Gold Member

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    I want the long-lasting relationship...but I know based on my history...I never get that. So, I don't look for that anymore.

     
  8. D_MisterBater

    D_MisterBater New Member

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    hybrid? eros/pragma.
     
  9. D_Sallote Twonads

    D_Sallote Twonads New Member

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    DEFINATELY Eros...though a bit of the Storge as well...though I am young i cannot claim to have loved and lost quite as much as an older member, I still feel that love should be passionate, spontaneous and not sought after. Sexual promiscuity does not exist to me. This is not to say I bed, or attempt to bed, every man that walks on two legs and has a unit swinging between his legs, but i regard relationships as both extensions of friendships as well as spontaneous, sensual representations of pure animalistic urges. A relationship for me is both ability to stay happy hanging out with someone as well as knowing they will match, if not overpower, your own sexual appetite and energy. Okay that was a bit long, but then again, isn't interest in things a little bit, or a big bit, longer what brings us all together on this site?!
    <3
     
  10. badgirl22

    Verified Gold Member

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    Heheh, I'm like sybil here. My marriage was definitely Storge and when I finally ended that I was determined to become a Ludus lover. But, sigh....turns out I must be an eros lover because though I wasn't wanting or looking for it I *fell* damnit all.
     
  11. Principessa

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    Agape with storge rising. :biggrin1: You know, like I'm a Taurus with Saggitarius rising
     
  12. rbkwp

    Gold Member

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    3 Storge
    The disadvantage is the lack of passion.


    Thats ME'
    enz
     
  13. B_Bonky

    B_Bonky New Member

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    lewdus, myself.

    I remember reading about these years ago.
     
  14. barbiegirl007

    barbiegirl007 New Member

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  15. B_ytcorp

    B_ytcorp New Member

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    combo of storge and agape leaning to storge
     
  16. D_Tina_Ciao

    D_Tina_Ciao Account Disabled

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    Pure Eros - and very idealistic - that chemistry and romance does not die; for me it's still as vibrant or more so than it was 48 years ago. :redface:
     
  17. anoushka

    anoushka Member

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    50% Agape
    25% Storge
    25% Eros
     
  18. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    i'm the storge.
     
  19. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    Me too
     
  20. helgaleena

    Gold Member

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    Agape doormat trying to get more eros
     
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