Thx for your concern. I am actually having a therapy. >>>>And it appears, for now, that the best thing I can do to deal with all of this, is to avoid the guys who aren't gold star.If someone else's past makes you feel insecure about yourself, then you should probably explore that with a therapist. Until you are confident in yourself, it's going to be difficult for you to be a good partner to anyone else. Work on yourself, then you'll be in good enough working order for someone else. Good luck!
I just turned fifty a few months ago. I can tell you that none of the other "big" birthdays (30, 40 etc.) ever made much of an impression on me. 50 was different. I'm constantly having to battle feelings of being old, over the hill. I battle the impression that I have wasted my life, achieved little or nothing of value, that it's too late to correct things.Hung tops are in short supply so in regards to insecurities, I find it confronting to have to really market myself to get ahead of everyone else bombarding these guys with messages.
You not only need to be more attractive than guys your own age, you need to be able to offer more than those twinky jail bait with a 26 inch waist who like older. So I guess there is also the insecurity of aging.
Older friends tell me to shut up and wait until I am fifty. At that point you apparently become invisible.
Hung tops are in short supply so in regards to insecurities, I find it confronting to have to really market myself to get ahead of everyone else bombarding these guys with messages.
You not only need to be more attractive than guys your own age, you need to be able to offer more than those twinky jail bait with a 26 inch waist who like older. So I guess there is also the insecurity of aging.
Older friends tell me to shut up and wait until I am fifty. At that point you apparently become invisible.
You are absolutely right about that. I'll definitely say that everyone has a right to be attracted to the body types of their choice, but this trend of gay men thinking they are being inclusive by having this infatuation for "dad bods" is ridiculous. What gay men consider "dad bods" or "thicc" really just consists of muscular guys who carry some extra weight in the right proportions, in other words, guys who would easily have classically attractive athletic bodies if they just lost like 25 pounds.You don’t need to wait until you’re 50 to obtain invisibility.
Gaining weight and becoming fat can also grant you the power of invisibility in the gay world. Seriously, you could go into a gay club, commit murder and walk out and no one would see or notice you. And when the police interrogate the owner + customers of what happened at the scene on the night of the crime. They would all scratch their balls and hole and say “I don’t know, I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. I could felt a slight earth quake coming and going, and the next thing I knew, Kenny was bleeding on the dance floor. Even Kenny didn’t know what happened. He said he felt a ghostly presence in front of him and that the floor around him trembled a little. Then he blacked out’.
Man this resonates. I'm turning 40 this year and I am constantly feeling that battle of feeling old. I still want to go out and do stuff, be active, but at the same time my body physically knows it's not 25 anymore....and hasn't been for a long time.I just turned fifty a few months ago. I can tell you that none of the other "big" birthdays (30, 40 etc.) ever made much of an impression on me. 50 was different. I'm constantly having to battle feelings of being old, over the hill. I battle the impression that I have wasted my life, achieved little or nothing of value, that it's too late to correct things.
Yup. Was going to say the same thing. You don't exist over a certain weight.You don’t need to wait until you’re 50 to obtain invisibility.
Gaining weight and becoming fat can also grant you the power of invisibility in the gay world. Seriously, you could go into a gay club, commit murder and walk out and no one would see or notice you. And when the police interrogate the owner + customers of what happened at the scene on the night of the crime. They would all scratch their balls and hole and say “I don’t know, I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. I could felt a slight earth quake coming and going, and the next thing I knew, Kenny was bleeding on the dance floor. Even Kenny didn’t know what happened. He said he felt a ghostly presence in front of him and that the floor around him trembled a little. Then he blacked out’.
Is this a gay thing or a male thing?You are absolutely right about that. I'll definitely say that everyone has a right to be attracted to the body types of their choice, but this trend of gay men thinking they are being inclusive by having this infatuation for "dad bods" is ridiculous. What gay men consider "dad bods" or "thicc" really just consists of muscular guys who carry some extra weight in the right proportions, in other words, guys who would easily have classically attractive athletic bodies if they just lost like 25 pounds.
I mean, it could be a male thing generally too. What's your point?Is this a gay thing or a male thing?
Straight men also want in shape girls. They dont look at fat girls.
I thought this thread is about specific things from being gay that makes u insecure. So stuff other people dont experience.I mean, it could be a male thing generally too. What's your point?
But the ones that really hurt are my peers, the men my own age, who utterly reject anyone and everyone around our age
if as an older guy you're still physically, emotionally and sexually active being with someone who's not interested in any of that, who's gone to the 'pipe and slippers phase' that is difficult and a lot of older guys do go there - my straight girlfriends of my age say that about their partners too.It's also difficult to come to terms with how many of my peers are slowing down. More and more seem uninterested in sex much of the time