What makes a bottom a bottom?

[B_ILIW]

I don't personally denigrate bottoms, but what makes a person a bottom generally? i'm kind of thinking of these factors:

- less "manly" as a man and has more effeminate qualities in general.
- feels more pleasure by getting a cock in his ass, rather than putting his cock in another's ass. being a top was never physically pleasurable for him because of this.
- is a state of mind, a feeling of being "taken" or dominated.

these are some reasons that popped into my head just now, i guess from a discussion i was having with a friend of mine today. note these don't apply equally, of course, to all guys, but i get the feeling some are true.

 

[EdWoody]

- less "manly" as a man and has more effeminate qualities in general.

Well, I can imagine you getting more than one angry flame for this.

- feels more pleasure by getting a cock in his ass, rather than putting his cock in another's ass. being a top was never physically pleasurable for him because of this.

Whereas this will get the reaction of, "Well, DUH, that's what the word means."

 

[scotchirish]

definitely not less masculine, some of the biggest bottoms i know are all-american football star types. I'm mostly a bottom, and I do have a submissive personality, when I top, it just feels awkward

 

[scrabble]

dont have to be girly you just have to like the feeling. simple as.

 

[Toshin]

dont have to be girly you just have to like the feeling. simple as.

I second that.:grinning-smiley-003

 

[Principessa]

dont have to be girly you just have to like the feeling. simple as.

EXACTLY! Some bottoms may be effeminate but one thing does influence another.

One of my best friends is a big ol' bottom and a more manly man I've never met.
He's the son of a cop, an avid athlete and body builder. There is not a feminine bone in his entire body; and he's happiest when his hubby is balls deep in his ass.

 

[MickeyLee]

after years of lesbo love downs i can say lazy is what always inspired me to bottom. a combo of "i'm tired, my back hurts, and seriously, i'm trying to sleep"

and really liking ass play.

lazy and having a penetration friendly butt.

result not typical. some bottoms are not lazy. most of 'em have a penetration friendly butt.

 

[scrabble]

for me, doggy style gets me off, sadly my butt has a depth gauge of about seven and a half inches, then its a bit painful, but the feeling of a big dick going in and out and filling you up, thats what its about.

you just have to split the notion that being penetrated makes you the girl in the relationship. what about a chick that strap ons her man?

 

[engorged]

I don't personally denigrate bottoms, but what makes a person a bottom generally? i'm kind of thinking of these factors:

- less "manly" as a man and has more effeminate qualities in general.
- feels more pleasure by getting a cock in his ass, rather than putting his cock in another's ass. being a top was never physically pleasurable for him because of this.
- is a state of mind, a feeling of being "taken" or dominated.

these are some reasons that popped into my head just now, i guess from a discussion i was having with a friend of mine today. note these don't apply equally, of course, to all guys, but i get the feeling some are true.

doubt there is any simplistic response to this

 

[B_theOtherJJ]

You just LIKE what you LIKE.

 

[macho8]

the question should be what makes a GOOD bottom???

 

[Lex]

I love when people ask me if I am the top or the bottom in our relationship and I say, "Yes." (I am the top or the bottom).

I don't personally denigrate bottoms

Yes, you do. You just did it, down here:

i'm kind of thinking of these factors:

- less "manly" as a man and has more effeminate qualities in general.
- feels more pleasure by getting a cock in his ass, rather than putting his cock in another's ass. being a top was never physically pleasurable for him because of this.
- is a state of mind, a feeling of being "taken" or dominated.

these are some reasons that popped into my head just now, i guess from a discussion i was having with a friend of mine today. note these don't apply equally, of course, to all guys, but i get the feeling some are true.

None of those things is true universally or generally among gay men. Thinking that bottoms are somehow less masculine is just slipping into heterosexual male penetration power dynamics.

For example, my partner can be very dominant, whether he is topping or bottoming. So can I, depending on the person and the chemistry.

Furthermore, one can be submissive and never get fucked.

I think you need to reconsider some things.

As Jrkwood said, you like what you like, in the end.

 

[SpeedoMike]

doubt there is any simplistic response to this

wrong! he's laying on the bed facing the ceiling (or stars).

 

[B_ILIW]

Well, I can imagine you getting more than one angry flame for this.


Whereas this will get the reaction of, "Well, DUH, that's what the word means."

well, why a flame? it's an honest point, which i think in some cases is true.

As for the second point, why "duh"? It is in my mind a possible reason why a guy could be a bottom.

 

[D_Pubert Stabbingpain]

for me, doggy style gets me off, sadly my butt has a depth gauge of about seven and a half inches, then its a bit painful, but the feeling of a big dick going in and out and filling you up, thats what its about.

you just have to split the notion that being penetrated makes you the girl in the relationship. what about a chick that strap ons her man?

I've known more than 1 straight man who simply cannot get off without something up his butt. They turn to guys because a woman using a dildo on you just ain't the same thing.

Some guys throw their legs in the air because they are inexperienced at blowing cock (although that too is typically known as a "bottom" role) and just want to get it over with!

 

[bigman420]

i would imagine that at some point in time a bottom must have gone through some serious gender and gender-role confusion. just the idea of a man having a mentality of wanting to be penetrated rather than penetrate is so unnatural.

 

[Gomez]

Does Penis size come into it?

 

[Stephenmass]

i would imagine that at some point in time a bottom must have gone through some serious gender and gender-role confusion. just the idea of a man having a mentality of wanting to be penetrated rather than penetrate is so unnatural.

Why is it that straight guys are NOT confused, but gay guys ARE confused? I don't understand your logic bigman. You are not a man attracted to men or perhaps have never been in a relationship with a man. I know I am gay. I'm not big into anal, but will sometimes give it up to my b/f if he wants it and vice versa. I don't consider myself feminine at all and I certainly don't consider him feminine at all either.

Society has sadly ingrained the "straight world" into thinking the way that not only you think bigman, but the way the OP thinks also. I know some people that know gay couples, and if one of the gay couple HAPPENS to be effeminate they "guess" him to be the bottom. A few of my coupled friends would fool the hell out of you then. The masculine of the two is the one that likes being on the bottom. Of course there are feminine types that like it too, but don't generalize. You are sadly mistaken.

 

[Lex]

i would imagine that at some point in time a bottom must have gone through some serious gender and gender-role confusion. just the idea of a man having a mentality of wanting to be penetrated rather than penetrate is so unnatural.

This wins the award for most idiotic post of the month (and it's early in November). Your prostate is a wondrous thing and having it stimulated is very pleasurable for a man (regardless of his orientation). And, since you probably are not aware, you can stimulate your prostate without having something up your ass.

Keep your judgmental bullshit about being fucked to yourself. I (and others) are thankfully man enough to get fucked on hour then fuck the living hell of out something in the next hour.

I pity guys who only have half the pleasure and the fun.

 

[B_Cegro27]

Well for me (and I'm 100% bottom), the decision to bottom was pretty simple...I tried topping (on a couple of different occasions), and totally hated it. It felt completely unnatural FOR ME. On the other hand, being a bottom makes me feel like I'm in the role I WANT to be in, it feels completely natural, satisfying, enjoyable, blissful, etc.

There are other aspects (again, FOR ME) that I enjoy "in addition to" being a total bottom, not "the result of" me being one...such as submissiveness, loving the feel of a large and fat cock pumping in and out of me, my extreme enjoyment of GIVING blowjobs, looking at my ass in the mirror and thinking/feeling it was made for taking big cock, and the pleasure I feel when I know I'm pleasuring my partner's cock with my holes. All of these aspects are my own, they don't apply to every guy that's puts his ass in the air. So, there is no single answer for or against, but it still does come down to what a person likes, enjoys, and simply gives them pleasure.