What makes a GOOD man to make a CHILD with?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by DGirl, Nov 16, 2009.

  1. DGirl

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    I ask this because I am married to a GREAT man.
    He is SMART!
    He is SEXY as hell!
    He is tall and well built!
    He makes a good living.
    His family is good stock.

    Then me..
    I have good looks about myself.
    I come from a pretty nice looking family.
    I am smart...ENOUGH..

    I am just wondering what do you look for in a MAN or WOMEN when you want a CHILD..

    My ex...
    No way in hell would I have had kids with him!
    He was a major DICK to his kids that he already had.
    He was NOT a good guy to me!!:mad:
    He was not a good money maker!!
    He was really not a good guy in all...
    His family was ok.
    I did NOT love HIM!
     
  2. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    The looks dont matter, the ability to be a good father and a good man to his childrens' mother is a lot more important. Anyone can be goodlooking, but it doesnt make them capable of handling day to day stress related to being a parent. Your kids won't care about how their dad is built or what kind of family stock he has. They want a man who will be there when they need him, teach them values in life and be an example of a good man in society. IQ or physical appearance play no role in these things children need.

    I know people who are severely mentally retarded or not that goodlooking or necessarily smart who are able to be the loving parents their kids are looking for.
     
  3. psycko

    psycko New Member

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    I would hate to look at life and other people like that.
     
  4. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Good question, DGirl!

    He, or she :), would have to be -

    of good character
    healthy
    resilient
    intelligent
    dedicated
    no mental issues (which means he could not be taking or in need of psychotropic medication)

    I would like if he had a big family
    kind
    thoughtful
    affectionate
    patient
    honest
    disciplined
    financially cautious

    Must have, or be able to learn and teach, basic skills, such as knowledge of farming, camping, self-defense, hunting, ability to play musical instruments, speak foreign languages, etc.

    Our relationship would have to be solidly based in friendship and mutual respect in addition to love.

    Oooh, must have watched Fight Club (Can sub Brazil) and V for Vendetta, and liked them. :09:
     
  5. D_Doewell Dadong

    D_Doewell Dadong New Member

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    I think you could simplify this to what makes a good person.

    morals
    strength of character
    humor
    determination
    intelligence (real world intelligence not just academic intelligence)
    a sense of mischief
    someone who can be a good role model
    and ideally a smoking hot body helps too
     
  6. DGirl

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    LadyShady

    Thanks for your response.We have a cat that used to be a tiny kitten.."She is the baby that is in the avatar. Folks say that getting a pet helps see what you two would be like with a child. I LOVE the kids in my family. Hubby has spoiled the HELL outta of Stormy! She does not even let me touch her. ONLY him!!:eek: She waits for him, play with him and sleeps by him!
    He loves her so much.:redface: He breaks out the darn camera every chance he can get to get her in pictures!! Those that seen my myspace page knows this....
    So, I do think that he will be a good daddy. He gives Stormy so much time. He changes the litter box. He makes sure that she has clean water, fresh crunchies.... combs her, and gives her so much love.
    I hope that he will change diapers when we have a baby...:redface:

    Praying_Mantis

    I want to know what YOU...feel that will make a good father? I had a GREAT Daddy growing up. But, I was just spitting out some SIMPLE ideas...
    My own daddy was NOT a rich man.. BUT, he loved me and made me the women I am today. I am married and not some guys one of MANY baby momma's... I am not some man hating women... I am a HAPPY female that Loves her hubby.:biggrin1:


    psycko

    Get to know us folks before you make any STRANGE post...
    I left you a mess in your profile.
    GET 2 KNOW FOLKS 1ST........:wink:
     
  7. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    i don't have children so i don't really know. i guess if i were to ever want anyone to father a child for me, he'd better not be a dead beat low life with a known family history of cancer, obesity, disease and heart attacks.
     
  8. ManlyBanisters

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    I'm not going to get into talking about my offspring the other side of the gene-pool involved there but I do have something to say about my own father.

    He's good looking, incredibly intelligent, I'm told by other people that he's sexy and he has a very close and loving extended family. But he wasn't perfect. He is (or was) also an alcoholic, a womaniser, a truculent, stubborn SoB and not the most fiscally prudent.

    Sometimes he was shit - staying out all night all through the week, upsetting my mum, or worse coming home steaming drunk, getting arrested on the doorstep, his pissed-up mates banging on our bedroom windows in the wee small hours. Sometimes he was amazing - writing the funniest notes from the tooth fairy to say thanks for the molar under the pillow, bringing us to football with him and then playing pool with us after - making sure we got our cokes and 7ups in frosted glasses with maraschino cherries and little umbrellas, giving a 45min lecture to his first year students with an emu puppet on his arm to keep us amused while we sat in, taking the time to explain to me all the rules of whatever sport he was watching when I asked, no matter how much it distracted him.

    I wouldn't trade him for this fictious healthy, resilient, financially cautious man of good character with no mental issues. My dad loves me without limit and I love him beyond my ability to explain other than to say he's my dad.

    There is no perfect father, no ideal man - there is no perfect mother either. As HickBoy says, it is not a question of IF you are going to fuck-up with your kids, it is a question of when. Both my parents come through for me everytime - I don't have to turn around, I know they are there. That's what counts.
     
  9. Drifterwood

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    You need to fuck his dad then.
     
  10. DGirl

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    ha ha!!
     
  11. Drifterwood

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    Glad you got the joke. :biggrin1:

    I think that there is a great Roald Dahl story where this couple go around getting sperm samples of all the famous men of their generation and then sell them like AI to rich women. The post script is that most of the offspring were disappointing and that it was the great achievers' fathers whom they should have sampled.

    They do say though that you should not marry a woman unless you'd do her mother.
     
  12. cups

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    If we are talking about the offspring, then 2 loving parents in love with eachother
    is all that is needed.
     
  13. Principessa

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    I beg to differ. That's all that is required to make a baby. But I've been in love with a lot of guys that I am in retrospect SO GLAD I did not father a child with.
    :rofl: You so bad. :lmao:

    Actually, I always heard that a man should look at a girls mother to see what she will be like in later years.
     
  14. Not_Punny

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    I think it's a good idea, Stormy, to gauge how he treats the pet.

    The father of my kids has been in and out of their lives. I should have listened when he told me the story of how he abandoned his one and only pet.

    I have always thought that treatment of pets is a good index of how someone would parent.
     
  15. Not_Punny

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    (I'm not saying that children ARE pets! I am saying that the caring-for-others gene is tested and exhibited in how people care for ANY dependent, be it human or hairy.)
     
  16. Principessa

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    I agree with that. I have an ex that claimed to hate cats and dogs; but whenever he was around them he would pick them up and pet them. :lmao: I think he liked them, just didn't like the upkeep. As it turned out he loved his kids, but he was a deadbeat dad. :angryfire2: Which was one of many reasons we split.
     
  17. AlteredEgo

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    Ain't THAT the truth!

    My husband is very thoughtful. This is my favorite thing about him. Because of this, he never says things he'll need to revoke, is able to anticipate my needs before they arise, is helpful to me, even when I suggest he should be relaxing because my days are easier than his, and is just generally able to make me feel well cared for.

    He's gentle. He's very careful not to hurt me when we play roughly, and he's loving with my cat, even though she can be very mean to him. He dotes on me, and on our pets, but I'd say he draws the line at spoiling us.

    He's open-minded, far moreso than I am. He explores both sides of most issues, usually finding far more valid reasons to support the unpopular ideas than I can.

    He's brilliant! His understanding of astronomy and astro-physics constantly astounds me. He has little formal education, but his mind is like an infinity of sponges. He can never get enough new information.

    He's adventurous. He's almost always eager to try something new. Sometimes, he seems fearless and invincible.

    He's affectionate. Poor man must have been love-starved in a previous life.

    He's playful. Just ask our exhausted dog.

    He is very ethical. Sometimes he's a little too all-or-nothing with his ethics, but a strong sense of ethics is important. Better too strong, than too lax.

    He's very strong, both physically, and emotionally.

    He's creative and talented. In fact, he's very talented. He has an eye and appreciation for creativity and art in the world, and in life.

    He's loyal. He won't leave without dying.

    Fuck with our family, and he'll kill you. Possibly literally, depending on what you do.

    These are qualities I was expecting to find in the man I would someday marry, because I think these would make a great father. Three more years and we'll hopefully find out!
     
  18. Not_Punny

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    Aha! This scientifickley proves the point! :wink:


    Wow! Then what are you waiting three years for?! (Pardon my nosiness if you don't choose to elaborate.)
     
  19. AlteredEgo

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    We just want to enjoy not having the responsibility for another few years.
     
  20. Principessa

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    Speaking as a woman who has looked at more than a few sperm donor sites.

    1) Healthy: I look for somebody whose family history is free of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, genetic disorders etc.
    2) Height: 6' and over
    3) Weight: there are no overweight sperm donors. If you are a female & a chubby chaser you will be SOL with sperm donor sites. These guys range from lanky to athletic and muscle bound.
    4) Eye color: Green and hazel eyes run in my family. I think it would be nice to have a kid that shared that with his cousins.
    5) Hair color: Don't care, personally I don't usually go for blondes, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't date a nice one.
    6) Current career: Lots of people hate their jobs, but they need a paycheck. :rolleyes:
    7) College major: I used to think this was important but the truth is that very few people work in their majors.

    I often find their hobbies interesting. However, there is no guarantee that a man who paints, sculpts, or plays in a rock band will produce a child with the same interests or abilities. :cool:

    I have a friend in Oregon who was an MS in Human Factors, she used to design control rooms for nuclear power plants. She is incredibly smart! Her husband is some kind of astrophysicist. They are both incredibly intelligent. They have two children, a boy and a girl. Both have such unusual learning disabilities that she has been forced to home school them the last 5 years.

    It's really all a crap shoot. Some kids win the genetic lottery and others don't. :redface: :smile:

     
    #20 Principessa, Nov 18, 2009
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2009
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