What makes a great hug?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by naughty, Aug 25, 2008.

  1. naughty

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    Sparked by an earlier conversation, what do you think makes a great hug? Please do share. Some of us may need to upgrade our skillz. :tongue:
     
  2. B_dumbcow

    B_dumbcow New Member

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    A great hug is never half-arsed. :smile: You squeeze more tightly as you know somebody longer and feel closer to them (but don't squeeze so hard as to hurt them). Lighter and shorter hugs are best between relatives, longer and tighter hugs are for very close friends :biggrin: And always make sure the other person wants a hug... some people are just not huggable.
     
  3. ManlyBanisters

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    Has someone been criticizing your hugging skills :eek::eek::eek: I'll scratch their eyes out!! :mad:

    :wink:

    I object to over zealous squeezing. I recall one person whose definition of a hug was to squeeze as tight as possible and I would often end up having to be rude and break the hug so I could breathe!

    I think a good hug comes from being held comfortably - I like tight hugs, I like loose hugs - but the main thing is you should be aware of whether the person you are hugging is being made to contort uncomfortably to accept your hug. I'm short and I try to be aware that tall people have to bend to hug me and that may be awkward.

    I don't squeeze tighter for people to whom I am closer - but I may rub or stroke their back - I do that with my relatives. With my man I like to put my hand in his hair and press my whole body closer... but that's a different kind of hugging from friend hugging, of course.
     
  4. Catchoftheday

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    A great hug is one which is there when you want it, never asks why, is completely free and lasts for exactly how long you want it for.
     
  5. got_lost

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    A hug is something special. Inside a hug is somewhere you can feel safe and protected, comforted and cared for, loved and wanted.

    To give a hug is an honour. You can show someone how much they mean to you and how much you care for them.

    The best hug envelopes. Body contact is important. The more... sexy the hug the more contact... starting with the upper body and perhaps moving down if approriate.

    Pressure is important but tight squeezing a no-no, as MB says.
    There again, no pressure can be dissappointing to the recipient. A bit like a limp handshake.

    A gentle rub on the back is appropriate, a hand to the head to hold closer is lovely.

    As the hug ends, a hand to the cheek, to cup and stroke gently allows eye contact which reinforces the message of the hug.


    I'm a good hugger, though the boobs can get in the way. :cool:
     
  6. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Is something that helps someone feel better. Is never half assed or hurried.
     
  7. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    I think a great hug is one that when you give or receive it - you feel safe, reassured and gives you a swell of emotion. I love hugs!
     
  8. numberseven

    numberseven New Member

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    Hugs are super important to me, and I love giving them and getting them, but it's hard to put into words what makes a good hug. I guess the general warmth and affection of the hug-givers is important, and a smile helps quite a bit. Choosing a different arm position than your hug partner is also a very good idea--once saw a hilarious webcomic about that, don't suppose anyone knows where it is?--failed hugs from the same decision are never as much fun. Other than that, just being sensitive to the length and pressure of hug your hug recipient is comfortable with and eager for.

    Damn, now I want a hug :tongue:
     
  9. matticus201

    matticus201 Member

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    Love this thread!

    I'm such a hugger. I think the best hugs are the warm, unexpected hugs. I pretty tall, so I tend to hug shorter people kind of around the neck, pat them on the back, so that they can freely grab my torso under the arms. I always give full body contact, not the upper torso only, it seems unsincere to me.

    People that I know, I hug freely and all the time. It's the best way to let someone know that they are special. I also like a little cheek to cheek action, but then again, I'm pretty affectionate with no personal space.... lol.
     
  10. naughty

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    Thanks everyone for your comments. I think hugs tell you a lot about the person you are with at that moment. Though I have been trained to stand back from others when hugging I express my rebellion by giving full bodied firm hugs. Not everyone can take that type of body contact. I tend to find that most of the time those who are uncomfortable with expressing that type of up close and personal affection tend to be parsimonious in other ways as well.
    A hug can be a healing thing. I have held friends and enemies until their bodies shook out the very last tremors of tension and finally fell limp to be held until calm. I have been very loved in my life by family and I think a hug is a gift to give some of that good will back to others.
     
  11. prepstudinsc

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    I got the skillz when it comes to hugz. (or so I've been told)
     
  12. D_Theophallus Kneedgroin

    D_Theophallus Kneedgroin Account Disabled

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    Someday, you and I will hug!!!

    (and how could the twins ever be in the way?)
     
  13. D_percypenguin

    D_percypenguin Account Disabled

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    There's something in a simple hug
    That always warms the heart;
    It welcomes us back home
    And makes it easier to part.


    A hug's a way to share the joy
    And sad times we go through,
    Or just a way for friends to say
    They like you 'cause you're you.

    Hugs are meant for anyone
    For whom we really care,
    From your grandma to your neighbour,
    Or a cuddly teddy bear.

    A hug is an amazing thing -
    It's just the perfect way
    To show the love we're feeling
    But can't find the words to say.

    It's funny how a little hug
    Makes everyone feel good;
    In every place and language,
    It's always understood.
    And hugs don't need new equipment,
    Special batteries or parts -
    Just open up your arms
    And open up your hearts.
     
  14. naughty

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    What a wonderful poem. Thanks for sharing.
     
  15. Viking_UK

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    There are degrees of hug depending on the situation and how well you know the person.
    Ideally, it should be unhurried, firm, but not crushing, full body, either with or without back rubbing depending on whether or not it's for reassurance/security or comforting.

    You change the level of body contact depending on who you're hugging. A quick "arms around the shoulders" hug is what I use for some one I don't know well or don't like but have to be seen to be hugging. They're pretty insincere, or at least not very friendly.

    Full-on close, firm hugs for me are reserved for five people, my partner and some of my closest friends.

    Other people get something in between the two depending on who they are and how I feel about them.
     
  16. EmJay

    EmJay New Member

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    In my eyes..the best hugs are the ones you get when you need them the most. Just simple heartfelt hugs..whether they are from a friend or someone you know...even from a stranger for all i care..

    When you need it..that is when it feels the most intens..warm and cosy..

    From my boyfriend i would like them to be strong, tight..but still tender..
     
  17. B_lamdellboo

    B_lamdellboo New Member

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    I think a hug is one of the best ways to express the love you have in your soul for somebody. Of course, this widely depends on the situation, but my own hugs tend to be warm, enthusiastic, fairly lengthy and involve some sort of extra touching (slight hand rubs, pats on the back,..maybe an ass grab... etc). It's a wonderful sort of connection shared between two people who love each other and want it to be known.
     
  18. got_lost

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    SO... When does a hug become a cuddle?!? :smile:
     
  19. got_lost

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    Ooooh there's interesting!

    My hugs are more tailored for the occasion and the emotional state of the huggee than for who the huggee is.

    It is usually a full body hug but my lower half rarely gets there due to the twins :rolleyes:

    But sometimes people just need a hug and they usually come to me.
    My mother only ever came to me when she needed one.

    But you just made me think of the occasions where, the 'close' hug you would give someone close to you, I've given just cos someone really needed it.

    I went to a concert with a group of 'internet' friends so didn't really know them hugely well. One girl had had terrible news the week before and was being really strong about it. But I knew that at some point the music would touch her and she'd just crumble.

    I made sure I was near her throughout the night and then sure enough, as the last song started, her face just crumpled and she was in my arms.

    She clung so hard and I just hugged and hugged her.
    It wasn't a passionate hug, but it was a big, long, close hug.

    Interestingly, I do see it as a hug not a cuddle, even though it lasted the entire length of the song and some. :rolleyes:


    Oh... and numbers123.... you're on!!! :cool:
     
  20. Mr. Snakey

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    All thats been said i agree. However i pose the question of how hugs differ from say friends to that certain someone. Their voice, touch and embrace mean so much more in every way humanly possible. When two hearts beat as one. A permanent flame that never dies.
     
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