What man laws have you broken?

[MickeyLee]

Yaaay! I passed. Don't agree with #8 though. I never pee sitting down, night or day. Stand up and learn to aim, "men".

*stamps Mr. Monel 100% man* smexy man :naughty:

#8 what if a guy has a broken foot and vertigo? and his pee-preferred hand is broken? and he's wearing an eye patch... destroying his depth perception*?

 

[monel]

*stamps Mr. Monel 100% man* smexy man :naughty:

Thank you, ML.

#8 what if a guy has a broken foot and vertigo? and his pee-preferred hand is broken? and he's wearing an eye patch... destroying his depth perception*?

He needs to go pee in the woods :biggrin1:

 

[MickeyLee]

but.. but... bears go in the woods

*pictures some poor hobbled dude trying to pee with a grizzly bear crowding him*
does man law apply to bears? don't use the bush right next to the other bear/dude?

 

[D_Luke_DickStalker]

Oh yes i like to sew.

 

[nudeyorker]

MickeyLee's Man Law

1. grown-ass men do not wear skinny jeans.
2. men do not wear sketcher's shape-up. EVER. broken glass, no shoes? John McClane that shit.
3. grown-men don't drink diet beverages. Dr. Pepper 10 is not for men.
4. a man will rescue you from a bug. with minimal laughter. stoicism is manliness :tongue1:
5. men don't order half portions.
6. men can cry at movies. must claim allergies, poked eye, anthrax terrorist attack.
7. nobody should drink "girl" beers *blech* if you have a penis girl beer consumption is unforgivable.
8. sitting to pee at night. man ok. means you don't want an angry woman, or a wet ass, in the morning.
9. musicals. sing along = ok. having your own costumes and choreography? no.
10. asking for directions. men only get lost when girlfriends/wives are in the car. is also true of lesbians. dykes and men do not ask for directions. use navigator while pretending to be on the phone.
11. auto repair. everyone should know the basics. man required knowledge - fluid checks, filter changes, tire changes, oil change. at least a craftman's shade tree mechanic kit in the trunk.

I pretty much passed except I rock in my skinny ass low-rise jeans!I've put in the gym time to prove it.

 

[monel]

but.. but... bears go in the woods

Men don't fear bears no matter how outmatched.

*cue theme music to "Davy Crocket" : "... killed a bear when he was only three. Davy, Davy Crocket. King of the wild frontier"

 

[MickeyLee]

damn... in retrospect Davey Crockett has a really hard childhood. the song was so much fun to sing in k-garten.
:frown:


randomly... if ya going number one in the woods.. and a bear shows up.. is perfectly understandable to escalate to doing number two.

understandable, and i suspect involuntary.

 

[petite]

What is a girly beer?

Are we talking about Zima or wine coolers or hard cider? Do beers have genders?

 

[petite]

This whole thread reminds me of an excellent This American Life broadcast called Sissies, where Dan Savage makes a compelling, and in my opinion totally accurate, argument that femme men are the toughest of all tough guys, at least the ones that are like this one that he described.

(You can listen to the whole episode of Sissies for free.)

My boyfriend is kind of a sissy. He hates it when I mention it, and when he finds out that I said it on National Public Radio, he's going to kill me. But he is kind of a sissy. He cooks. He likes to do laundry. He's into fashion and Brit pop and Barbra Streisand. And all that's OK wi]th me. I hate to cook. And if he wants to listen to Funny Girl while he folds my shirts, well, I can deal.

And besides, it's really no sacrifice on my part. I think sissies are sexy. Though sissy isn't the right word, really. Little boys who play with dolls are sissies. Grown men who went to see The Mirror Has Two Faces on the morning it opened and loved it are known in gay slang, at least, as femmes.

My attraction to femmy guys is rooted, I have no doubt, in a high school experience. At St. Gregory the Great where I spent my sophomore year, there was this senior-- totally femmy and gay and out of the closet-- and this was in 1979. He dressed in Kmart disco fashions and wore his hair long and used eyeliner.

St. Greg's was a dumping ground. All the kids kicked out of other Catholic high schools for being bad students or hoodlums wound up at Greg's. These were not kids who instinctively honored diversity. These were kids who beat up sissies.

But no pounding could stop St. Greg's only femme. Like Gandhi he'd be back the day after a beating, defiant in his satin pants with his hair feathered back like Farrah Fawcett's. No punch, no putdown could stop him from talking loudly in the cafeteria about the bars he went to, the men he dated, the trouble he'd seen. He was very femmy, but he didn't want to be a woman. He liked being a guy, and he liked being gay. And he liked everyone to know about it.

As a miserably-closeted 14-year-old sophomore, I desperately wanted to go to gay bars in satin pants. I wanted to date men. I wanted to see some trouble. But I wasn't brave enough or strong enough or courageous enough. This femmy senior, he was all those butch things. He displayed more courage when he walked into St. Greg's every morning than I've ever displayed in my life, which is why I had such a crush on him, I think. Of all the tough kids at St. Greg's, he was absolutely the toughest.

 

[str8budchgo]

i purposely choose the middle urinal just to mess with people, whether someone is already using one of the others or not. HA, fun! It totally fucks up the man law-urinal thing.

 

[rough_neck_9_1]

I constantly reference the fact that if you in anyway believe in "man" law, that you should have testicular cancer and be doused with AIDS daily.

 

[185248]

Drinking fizzy sweet wine. I think there is somethin innit that causes you to giggle.

 

[monel]

randomly... if ya going number one in the woods.. and a bear shows up.. is perfectly understandable to escalate to doing number two. understandable, and i suspect involuntary.

True. But remember, it's OK to sit and do number 2. However, it is always a violation to be going number 2 while standing and an absolute abomination to be doing so while running.

 

[rbkwp]

Drinking fizzy sweet wine.


gaawd
Dont remind me of the infamous Cold Duck BS NZ Sparkling Wine equivalent v, from the 60s hah
NZs first attempt at Alcohol . or maybe blackberry nip?
Apple Cider even ha

 

[185248]

Drinking fizzy sweet wine.


gaawd
Dont remind me of the infamous Cold Duck BS NZ Sparkling Wine equivalent v, from the 60s hah
NZs first attempt at Alcohol . or maybe blackberry nip?
Apple Cider even ha

Yep....and the dreaded Passion Pop here in aus. I think the makers added something to it back in the seventies...Passion being the key word

 

[twoton]

I don't hang out with guys who follow "man rules."

 

[751175]

1 - Sometimes I cross the legs "like woman".
2 - I hate sports.
3 - I enjoy look at other guy's body.
4 - I like shops.
5 - I can take a little more time that the usually to chosse the clothes I wear.
6 - I enjoy to hear fado (a type of music from my country), that's really not a "law" but is more associated to old people or womans.
7 - I usually cry for a woman (always the same).

 

[joeweekend]

1. I drive too fast.
2. I've done all manner of drugs.
3. I've had sex in . . . not entirely private settings.
4. I've bought shit on the internet, paid no sales taxes, and didn't report to the local authorities that I've done them out of their 10 percent.
5. I jaywalk like crazy.

That's about it. Pretty dull, really.

 

[185248]

I like high heel shoes too, red prosi sandals or black with red soles....not lookin good huh?. High heel shoes and Passion Pop...

 

[killerb]

some of the comments in this thread are hilarious...