What open marriage taught one man about feminism

TexanStar

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Unfortunately, as I read it, I was hearing the words in David Mitchell's comedy voice :D. I liked it though. I think more relationships will look like this in the future. Society as a whole needs to acknowledge that infidelity does happen a hell of a lot. Why is it even a thing?

I'd quite like to be in a relationship with that much openness and honesty.

I'm just going to ignore the blatant cuckold fantasy thing going on here if that's okay.
 

Tattooed Goddess

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Did the open marriage thing. Quickly shut the door. No shortage of weasels out there just waiting to get their hands on a married woman.

My husband did better hiding his jealousy than I did. When I saw it couldn't be equal because of my feelings about him being with someone else, we shut the whole thing down.

Not that there's anything wrong with an open marriage concept. It just wasn't for us.
 

Chrysippus

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Did the open marriage thing. Quickly shut the door. No shortage of weasels out there just waiting to get their hands on a married woman.

My husband did better hiding his jealousy than I did. When I saw it couldn't be equal because of my feelings about him being with someone else, we shut the whole thing down.

Not that there's anything wrong with an open marriage concept. It just wasn't for us.

Thanks for your honesty.
 
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EllieP

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I can appreciate other's mindset. That doesn't mean I can understand it, but the diversity certainly makes for a more progressive society.

That said, I can never see myself outside of a committed relationship in my marriage. I also struggle with what allowing your spouse to have flings has to do with feminism. Equality to fuck others is not feminism. Well, it's definitely not the type of equality I've strived for.
 

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So let me get this straight: the wife decides she wants to screw around with basically random guys any time she wants. Hubby doesn't have enough self-esteem to tell her not to, so he fetishizes her profligate infidelities as pro-woman empowerment and postures himself as the strong self-confident modern man who is supportive of being treated by his wife as if he were her gay roommate.

It's a great arrangement for her: dates, sex, and a husband who stays at home all day and all night with the kids. Why is she even married?
 
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umdoistressilvaquatro

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Wut?

I'm not sure what this guy's lack of possessiveness about his wife is supposed to have to do with equal treatment, opportunity, and rights for women and men, but whatever.
Husbands not "possessing" their wifes (also, explain me what you mean by that) is not equal treatment, opportunity and rights?
 

umdoistressilvaquatro

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So let me get this straight: the wife decides she wants to screw around with basically random guys any time she wants. Hubby doesn't have enough self-esteem to tell her not to, so he fetishizes her profligate infidelities as pro-woman empowerment and postures himself as the strong self-confident modern man who is supportive of being treated by his wife as if he were her gay roommate.
How is he her gay roommate? Where in the article says they stopped having sex? He do say the "infidelities" goes both ways, but never said he does it with men.
 

TexanStar

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Husbands not "possessing" their wifes (also, explain me what you mean by that) is not equal treatment, opportunity and rights?

No dude. It says jack shit about his feelings on equal pay for equal work, on equal representation in government, yadda yadda.

All it says is he's fine if his wife fucks other guys. I don't have any animosity for someone who has that kind of marriage arrangement, but it has nothing at all to do with feminism.
 

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As I write this, my children are asleep in their room, Loretta Lynn is on the stereo, and my wife is out on a date with a man named Paulo. It’s her second date this week; her fourth this month so far. If it goes like the others, she’ll come home in the middle of the night, crawl into bed beside me, and tell me all about how she and Paulo had sex.
I stopped reading there, after three sentences.
:rolleyes:
 

twoton

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All it says is he's fine if his wife fucks other guys. I don't have any animosity for someone who has that kind of marriage arrangement, but it has nothing at all to do with feminism.

I agree. If they want that relationship, that's great. What I'm reading is that he's trying to justify after the fact. She's cheating on him.
 

EllieP

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As I write this, my children are asleep in their room, Loretta Lynn is on the stereo, and my wife is out on a date with a man named Paulo. It’s her second date this week; her fourth this month so far. If it goes like the others, she’ll come home in the middle of the night, crawl into bed beside me, and tell me all about how she and Paulo had sex.
I stopped reading there, after three sentences.
:rolleyes:

Yep, as soon as I read that I checked the site to make sure it wasn't LPSG. Sure sounds like the start of a thread or two on here.
 

AlteredEgo

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I agree. If they want that relationship, that's great. What I'm reading is that he's trying to justify after the fact. She's cheating on him.
How is she cheating? I couldn't get through the boring article so I may not have gotten to that part. He seems to have no objections to her dating, looks forward to hearing about her exploits. If they are in agreement, and no one is lying, where is the cheating?
 

umdoistressilvaquatro

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No dude. It says jack shit about his feelings on equal pay for equal work, on equal representation in government, yadda yadda.

All it says is he's fine if his wife fucks other guys. I don't have any animosity for someone who has that kind of marriage arrangement, but it has nothing at all to do with feminism.
Feminism involves several different issues. I would say that if you don't get that "women should not be possessions of men" is a feminist banner, than you don't know what feminism is.
I would like to clarify too that this is not to say that I agree a bit with the claim that agreeing with an open marriage is necessary for being a feminist man, because I do not agree with his claim that "monogamy meant I controlled her sexual expression". Through marriage, they initially both initially agreed exclusivity to each other, then later both chose an open marriage; in both cases they opted freely, it is not correct to think one form of the relationship is oppressive and the other is feminist. Monogamy does not mean men's possession of women.