What open marriage taught one man about feminism

[Fencepost]

I wonder what would've happened if he didn't agree to it.

This question from twoton is crucially important. If the husband did NOT want this, then if the wife went out anyway, it is cheating. I think we all agree on this one. So the question begs, did he really have a choice in the matter? He does not seem to struggle with this in the article, but we do not know the background.
If a husband or wife is sexually unfulfilled, then they need to look at why, and if this can be addressed within the monogamous relationship. If one or the other can not or will not take necessary steps, then maybe divorce is the way to go.
Mutual monogamy at one time was part and parcel of the meaning of marriage. Why get married if your commitment was not proven through monogamy and faithfulness? Why bother with marriage? I guess I do not understand the open concept of marriage. If you need the freedom to shop around, then by all means, do it. But to do it within marriage seems weird to me. Please do not take my words as personal attack on any of our members here. I am simply telling my feelings and opinion. I cannot grasp the concept of open marriage.
Finally, this article seems too "pat" to me. He is congratulating himself. Again, we do not know the background.

 

[693987]

This question from twoton is crucially important. If the husband did NOT want this, then if the wife went out anyway, it is cheating. I think we all agree on this one. So the question begs, did he really have a choice in the matter? He does not seem to struggle with this in the article, but we do not know the background.
If a husband or wife is sexually unfulfilled, then they need to look at why, and if this can be addressed within the monogamous relationship. If one or the other can not or will not take necessary steps, then maybe divorce is the way to go.
Mutual monogamy at one time was part and parcel of the meaning of marriage. Why get married if your commitment was not proven through monogamy and faithfulness? Why bother with marriage? I guess I do not understand the open concept of marriage. If you need the freedom to shop around, then by all means, do it. But to do it within marriage seems weird to me. Please do not take my words as personal attack on any of our members here. I am simply telling my feelings and opinion. I cannot grasp the concept of open marriage.
Finally, this article seems too "pat" to me. He is congratulating himself. Again, we do not know the background.

While monogamy is a typical part of marriage, that's not the only reason people get married...... we certainly don't know the background of the couple in the article, but to dismiss individuals out of hand who choose to be married and polyamorous or married and swingers is to me somewhat silly.

Sharing incomes, sharing names, right to speak on a partner's behalf in a medical emergency, taxes, how most societies as a whole see a married couple versus non-married, and those are only the things that immediately spring to mind. I'm sure there are more.

 

[Fencepost]

While monogamy is a typical part of marriage, that's not the only reason people get married...... we certainly don't know the background of the couple in the article, but to dismiss individuals out of hand who choose to be married and polyamorous or married and swingers is to me somewhat silly.

Sharing incomes, sharing names, right to speak on a partner's behalf in a medical emergency, taxes, how most societies as a whole see a married couple versus non-married, and those are only the things that immediately spring to mind. I'm sure there are more.

Ma'am, I did not intend to dismiss anyone. My main point was that I cannot fathom it, based on my perception of marriage and monogamy. I am not morally superior to anyone, but I am who I am.
You are right about the many benefits and responsibilities that society attributes to marriage. Security and care for children would be another fine addition to the list, and possibly the most important one. Polygamous and polyandrous societies can indeed provide for children, but somehow this seems different than sleeping around with stray people. A polygamous or polyandrous marriage seems to me to be a more cohesive unit, as opposed to what was described in the article.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Ma'am, I did not intend to dismiss anyone. My main point was that I cannot fathom it, based on my perception of marriage and monogamy. I am not morally superior to anyone, but I am who I am.
You are right about the many benefits and responsibilities that society attributes to marriage. Security and care for children would be another fine addition to the list, and possibly the most important one. Polygamous and polyandrous societies can indeed provide for children, but somehow this seems different than sleeping around with stray people. A polygamous or polyandrous marriage seems to me to be a more cohesive unit, as opposed to what was described in the article.

Swinging does not have any impact on the rest of the family who do not know about it, and do not see the partners. Their unit is cohesive enough. There's always someone home with them. They are not unattended and free running.

 

[TexanStar]

what was described in the article.

What was described in the article comes across as a one-off to me. Whether true or fictitious, it reflects the writing of a bit of a nutjob. It's hard to make any serious arguments about anyone's sex life using that article as a basis for the discussion

 

[Fencepost]

Swinging does not have any impact on the rest of the family who do not know about it, and do not see the partners. Their unit is cohesive enough. There's always someone home with them. They are not unattended and free running.

Certainly, this is likely far superior to divorce, assuming that this is indeed how it plays out in the long run.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Why is it just swinging or divorce? I know many happy swinging couples. I don't personally gasp the interest in swinging but I once understood polyamory. None of which had anything to do with me or my husband being unhappy.

It's like the moral police are all up in this thread.

 

[MickeyLee]

every relationship i have been in, with the exception of the current relationship with the boy, have been open
there was no cheating, everyone was happy, fun was had by all
why? cuz of a core of respect and deep love for my primary partner
i knew the limits and treated them like religion... i did not trespass over limits

so long as people are honest and respectful there are so many types of relationship combos out there