What percentage

AlteredEgo

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I can't speak for others. I didn't really have a father daughter relationship with my own father. My male role models were my grandfather, my mother's cousins, my God brother, and the fathers of friends. One of these men is sexually attracted to me, and that is seriously fucked up, but that's how issue, not mine. I think I remind him of my mother when they were young, or maybe his wife, before they had my bestie, but it certainly isn't mutual. Jeebus. My other bestie's father was really there for me when my life was hardest, and I associate him most as fatherly. I call him Daddoo. I can't say what he calls me without revealing toouch about my real first name, but it's adorable. He's the best. My God brother is one of my closest friends. I love the relationship we have now that we're both weird adults. Love him.

Anything I would have needed from my father in terms of closure came from him before he died, both his friendship, and his apologies for not being around when I was little. The last of it was envy I had of his relationship with my brother, but my brother unknowingly resolved that for me. Their relationship was nothing like I imagined. It was almost purely transactional, and that's his mother's fault. She told him to approach our father that way. My mother told me not to ask or expect anything from my father, and I could never be disappointed. I have zero unresolved issues with my father. Loads of unanswered questions, bit those are more curiosity about who he was as a man on the road, what he saw and experienced. He was an interesting man, and he may not know just how much, but he had a huge positive influence on my life. We played the same instrument, and I inherited my ear, the large hands needed to be facile, and the drive to be the best from him. Every time I advanced my juvenile career, despite playing a different genre of music, I showed up with a bass and his face. Musicians where I had opportunity knew who he was, and both were more willing to help, and expected more of me as a result. I hope I didn't disappoint any of them. I know my father was very proud.
 
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