What? Really? Again? :(

MelbourneGirl

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Right now I am just struggling to get the image of her and him out of my head

When I've been in this sort of situation, I take a different approach. I sit calmly in a quiet room, clear my head of anything else and then imagine my ex making love with whoever the new person is. In my mind, I visualise the most painful things I can possibly think about. I observe my physical response to this. Increased pulse rate, body temperature goes up and I start to sweat. Often tears run down my face. But I keep working through this visualisation. I do this several times a day, until one day, I realise, my response is changing. I still feel very sad, but my pulse isn't as high and I don't have tears running down my face. I am slowly on the mend.

Trying not to think about it, is like me telling you not to think about pink elephants, Suddenly, that's all you can think about. The mind doesn't understand "don't", it only understands thoughts. So telling yourself not to think about her and this new guy won't work.

Give it a go and see how you feel. Most of all, when you are having a really bad day, remember 'Like life itself, so too shall this pass'. You will feel better in time. I lived on the emotional rollercoaster with relationships until I was in my early 20's and at the time, never thought I'd get over a number of significant people in my life. But here I am. Still here and still 'sort of' sane!

MG
 

_Jonesy

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Pink Elephants are beautiful.

I know. And I do think about it, eventually it will go away. Luckily I didn't love her, but you know, it is just the image. I need to replace her I think.

I cannot wait until I am older and wiser and I have gotten through all of this crap. There is a girl I like you know, she goes to my Uni. I don't talk to her much right now, a month ago was when I knew her best. She made it obvious she liked me but i left it due to the girl who has done all this to me. I hope I can get another chance because I liked her a lot more... truth is I really avoided her because I was scared of how much I liked her. It felt too natural and right, and I left it until it just did not happen. Silly.
 

_Jonesy

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Tonight I am sleeping in the bed where we first, you know. Where we first felt truly connected. I woke up with her head on my chest... it was one of the nicest memories I have of her.

This is as close as I will get to feeding the fire, I guess.
 

_Jonesy

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maybe following your creative passion as an outlet. do you write? play an instrament? make art? cook? free lance neurosurgeon?
I workout 5 times a week. That is about it at the moment. Tempted to start writing.

Woke up and suddenly I feel much better so... yay. I knew it would pass in a few days I just needed to talk to get through it, so thank you again to everybody.

I mentioned another girl I let pass me by for her, who I wish I had gone for and may have still had a chance with. Well, that night I let her slip by me she ended up with another guy who I thought just wanted her for that one night but from the photos from the Xmas do I reckon they are secretly a little bit more.

Oh well. Literally no options now. Probably best so I don't rebound anybody... I still hate being alone -_-
 

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I workout 5 times a week. That is about it at the moment. Tempted to start writing.

Woke up and suddenly I feel much better so... yay. I knew it would pass in a few days I just needed to talk to get through it, so thank you again to everybody.

I mentioned another girl I let pass me by for her, who I wish I had gone for and may have still had a chance with. Well, that night I let her slip by me she ended up with another guy who I thought just wanted her for that one night but from the photos from the Xmas do I reckon they are secretly a little bit more.

Oh well. Literally no options now. Probably best so I don't rebound anybody... I still hate being alone -_-
Glad that you are feeling better.

As to being alone, being alone can be nice. Solitude isn't necessarily loneliness.

As to people, unless someone tells you why they want to part ways you never really know and just because one person does it for a reason doesn't mean everyone will. Some people will take you just as you are and love the daylights out of you.
 

_Jonesy

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I guess you're right Hoss.

I don't mind being alone, I have felt alone for years to be honest as even when seeing a girl I haven't felt loved. I suppose that is why I don't want to be alone anymore - but life will go on. Just trying not to lose any weight while I go through all this atm :p
 

_Jonesy

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I guess you're right Hoss.

I don't mind being alone, I have felt alone for years to be honest as even when seeing a girl I haven't felt loved. I suppose that is why I don't want to be alone anymore - but life will go on. Just trying not to lose any weight while I go through all this atm :p
Isn't it weird how you can go up and down randomly.

I woke up feeling fine, and now I feel crappy again. Maybe it is just a sign I am fighting it still. I hate this shit.
 

SereneBlue

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Typical drama for a 21 year old. :smile:

If you're still making opening posts like these at 45 *then* I'd say you have a problem. :wink:
 

_Jonesy

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True :)

I have so much passion inside me... I always think of myself as a romantic but I cannot find the right girl to satisfy my type of romance. There are different types of romance and it is subjective, some girls hate the romantic stuff and find bed in breakfast romantic. I love the idea of intense passion and love... I cannot explain it. It is more like a fire than a relaxed flame.

It's made me realise. Something I have always wanted to learn to do, but never felt like it would work out. At the same time, I feel like I need to meet new people and take up a new hobby.

I want to learn to... don't laugh. Learn to salsa/tango. I would love to be able to dance like that, and it almost perfectly personifies my idea of passion and love. Maybe I will meet the like-minded woman there I have been searching for?
 
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