what should I do, I need some advice.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_gollafoble, Dec 10, 2008.

  1. D_gollafoble

    D_gollafoble New Member

    Apr 27, 2008
    Likes Received:
    Well I'm in a rather odd place right now. Let me elaborate, and what I mean is that my ex and I ended our relationship some time ago actually about a year ago, after that we ended up still somewhat messing around until about march of this year. Now I left school for the summer and haven't seen her since may or really spoken to her at all since may except for a quick 2 minute phone call for my b-day and hers as well. Yet over the summer I found my self dreaming about her every now and then, nothing sexual just like common conversation, and as quickly as it came it disappeared, and I haven't really thought of her at all, then I got a strong urge to send her a message just to see how she was doing with everything. After doing that and not hearing anything back until a couple of weeks later I found myself somewhat reflecting on what once was. Last week I had a conversation with my brother detailing to him how I've felt about the whole thing and how I feel currently. I know that she has a new bf and I believe she's happy, as I have gone out with other girls and all yet still can't seem to shake my self of her, I still feel like i love her and don't know what to do about the whole thing. I found that after we ended our relationship that I was getting attracted to her more and more, and now I feel like they are as strong as ever. I've tried to ignore them and have I guess landed in the situation that I'm in now. If anyone has any advice or words of wisdom for me please share as I don't know what to do. I feel like if I and her had another chance things would be incredible this time as I'm grown much since we ended, as I know she most likely has, feel free to leave comments and advice :frown1:, thanks.

  2. Phil Ayesho

    Gold Member

    Feb 26, 2008
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    San Diego
    This is normal.
    Absence makes the heart grow fonder... we gloss over the heartache and resentments with the memories of early attractions and happier moments.

    Its WHY people have a tendency to hook up again with ex's.... but it is no more likely to work out than it did the first time round.'

    What drove you apart probably has more to do with basic style and attitude than with youth.

    The fact that you STILL find her attractive is evidence that you have NOT changed... you are still drawn to her for the same reasons you were first drawn to her... still find the same things attractive...
    By that reasoning, you would also find the exact same frustrations and annoyances emerge if you spent long period of time around her again.

    Its easy to love other people an hour or two at a time. But its the long hours BETWEEN lusty fucks that really test the mettle of any relationship.

    You are young... you may have several loves that don't work out for various reasons.

    Being able to let it go and move on, yet carry with you a happy feeling and genuine fondness for former flames is a blessing.
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