what should I do

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by BoxersguyNJ, Feb 6, 2012.

  1. BoxersguyNJ

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    I chat with a guy that I know in a different site from a place that I used to work at, I know it is him from the way we chat and he gave me his stats but the wrong age, he doesn't know its me he is chatting with because he asked my name and I gave him a wrong name, he chats with me about male to male sex and he wants to get together and I always find excuses, I want to get together with him but I don't know how he'll take it knowing its me ....I used to see him everyday at work but now I dont work there anymore but every once in a while I go there to visit, we live close by each other about 10 min I don't know if I should tell him that its me or not I really dont want to lose friendship with him, any suggestions what I should do ?????
     
  2. ncsu_computer_dude

    ncsu_computer_dude Active Member

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    start off w/ saying I think we know each other. see if he wants to know, and that u r okay with keeping things as they are. never know, he may know it's u.
     
  3. CUBE

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    what he said
     
  4. Countryguy63

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    Hey Boxerguy,

    As nervous as you will be about it, "ncsu_" gave you some sound advice. :smile:

    Feel him out, he just may not freak about it
     
  5. BoxersguyNJ

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    well here is the thing in front of me and everyone he talks about girls and meeting girls--going out....thats why i'm afraid to say its me chatting , I really dont want to lose him as a friend
     
  6. BoxersMan

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    why do you think he would lose you as a friend?
     
  7. CUBE

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    I think you should preface anything you say with "bro it is so cool with me, I really value your friendship" The longer you wait the more deceptive it will be on your part. Make this happen asap
     
  8. BoxersguyNJ

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    I went to see him at work today and we sat and he talked about a girl he likes in the office but he's ashamed to ask her out but then after work he came on line in the chatroom he goes in and he started chatting with me again that he wants to meet me for sex ( naturally he doesnt know its me he's chatting with) so today in the chat room I said, are you sure you want to get together and he said why would you say that, and I said, just checking so he gave me a lol and said yeah I want to have sex with a guy,... so I really don't know what to say to him ...if I should say its me or not !! I'm afraid he'll freak out if I say its me
     
  9. molotovmuffin

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    You appear to be happy with agonizing about what might happen instead of taking the opportunity you just passed up to tell the guy. You could have easily dropped hints without coming right out and saying it was you. If he's intelligent he would have put two and two together.

    As it is, you're still at computer dudes advice which you seem determined to ignore.

    As an aside, if he was such a great friend online to someone he doesn't know, then he should be an even greater friend in person to someone he does. Regardless of everything else.
     
  10. Sklar

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    Here's a different thought:

    What if he does know that it's you and is playing you somehow?

    Sklar
     
  11. sexplease

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    Oh what a tangled web we weave...

    You don't want to loose your "friendship"....

    in my book, friendship is NOT based on lying, deceit and dishonesty.
     
  12. rtg

    rtg
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    hahaha...well that would be kinda funny...but poor OP.
     
  13. Countryguy63

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    molotuv muffin and sexplease are right. You're stressing over losing a friendship that is at best questionable.

    Not only is it not guaranteed that the worst will happen. Your friendship is not based on honesty.

    Really Bud, you have 2 "workable" options.

    #1. Work honesty into your on line conversations. Sure, if he freaks, it's gonna be uncomfortable in person for a little while, but things like that blow over. He may just surprise you, and be relieved that it's someone he already likes and is comfortable with. Ya don't know if you don't try, and besides, eventually IF you're gonna get together, he's gonna know :wink:

    #2. Quit torturing yourself and stop the on line communication. If he doesn't already know that it's you, he never has to, and you keep you "real life" relationship with him.

    Eventually, you gotta go down one road or another :smile:
     
  14. BoxersguyNJ

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    ---------------------------------------------------------------------

    Thanks guys !!! you're... all right , I think I'll go with number 2
     
  15. miamirt

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    Remember that option #2 will keep your "online" friendship in the dark but you will always wonder about him, assuming that the online guy is really who you think it is. You will never fully trust what the guy tells you face to face because of what you were getting from him virtually. I think this is the option you will regret.
     
  16. D_Sal_Manilla

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    wow... this is a problem.... i got no advice. hope what others said works.
     
  17. horneyoldguy

    horneyoldguy New Member

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    Meet for coffee
     
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