What should I do

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by big_guy, Mar 15, 2008.

  1. big_guy

    big_guy Member

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    OK, Here's the thing.

    I just found out that a guy I know is interested in both men and women. I am also interested in both men and women, I am still in the closet and not ready to come out yet. I really want to see if something can happen with my friend but I don't know how to bring it up. I've known the guy for a couple of years but it's not until just a couple months ago that we actually started hanging out.

    The other thing is that's making me a little shy about bringing up the whole thing is that I am still a virgin and he is... let's just call it experienced.

    What should I do.

    (I appreciate any advice... thanks)
     
  2. maestro071

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    Make a good atmsphere (invite him on dinner, or simillar) check if he is crashed in somone... Bring the sex topic on the floor and when convinient moment just Kiss him. So then you will find out, if he is interested in you or not. Don't loose time, just do it! Nothing to loose... And then everything will go by itself, just don't worry... Wishing you luck, lol
     
  3. big_guy

    big_guy Member

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    Thanks for the advice... but the only thing is that I don't want to do anything that would make thing awkward in the future. Even if nothing happens between us I still want to be his friend and we are both in University together (in the same program so we have one class together right now and we will have more classes together in the future)
     
  4. vindicator

    vindicator Member

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    This is just one of those things where if you don't make a move, it will slip you by and you may regret it.

    Just bring up sex as a topic, work that into sex with a guy and there you go. Maybe start off by trying to jerk off to porn together and see where it goes from there.

    Good luck!
     
  5. PECTACULAR

    PECTACULAR New Member

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    Dating a guy is the same as dating a woman basically. Be nice, give him a compliment and not about his dick! Get close to him and see how he reacts to you being in his personal space. Be cool and you will tell if he flirts back. If you get a good vibe, hit it...
     
  6. big_guy

    big_guy Member

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    Thanks everyone... although it would make it easy to bring up sexual preferences if we were watching porn I don't think I will do that, I'm trying to go for something a little more subtle.
     
  7. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Obviously you found out about how he is into other men somehow. If he raised the subject himself then simply speak to him privately sometime and ask him about it. Tell him you're interested in men too and are looking for guidance. Flirt a bit to let him know you're interested then see what happens.

    If you found out from someone else, then ask him if he knows this is what's being said about him and, before he can say anything, let him know you're cool with that and if it's only a rumor then you will not spread it but thought he should know in case he suddenly finds other guys coming on to him. If he denies then consider him a dead end. If he admits, then explain how sympathetic you are because you're in the same boat. Proceed with flirting from then on.
     
  8. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    PS- In either case, ask to speak to him alone and see if he goes with you. If he does and isn't uncomfortable in doing so, then you have a clue that he's interested. Just do it in a time and place where you'll have some real privacy and the time to explore anything that might transpire (i.e. - not in between classes in an academic building).
     
  9. big_guy

    big_guy Member

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    I actually found out from his facebook profile so I know it's true... I noticed it under his sexual preferences the other day when he logged in on the computer next to mine at school
     
  10. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Then there's your opening. Just remember that he may be as nervous as you are and, you can take into account that he did log-in while you were there. If he was worried about you seeing that profile he wouldn't have done so. Take that as a likely hint. Go with what I said before. Be honest, be sincere, let him know you care about his privacy.

    When you speak from the heart it makes a huge impression on people even if you think it makes you look silly or weak. If he knows you like, respect, and trust him, then that's a big step. Even if you and he aren't sexually compatible, it sounds like you could at least be good friends. You've got something in common and a mutual attraction.

    There's no way around just sucking it up and reaching out, even if it is scary. Almost universally, the result of doing so is the realization that you have blown your fears out of proportion and he is just as nervous as you are. He's just a guy like you are and, no matter how together he (or anyone else for that matter) might seem, we all have insecurities of some sort.

    Let him know you're not a dick by talking to him openly and honestly about your feelings.
     
  11. D_Keziah Binbanger

    D_Keziah Binbanger New Member

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    Talk to him, it's the only way to know how he feels about you. Do not fear his reaction, go for it or you may never know how it could've ended.
     
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