I have some personal experiences in this that have changed my views.
I am middle aged so I have been active for a few decades. At first I was always a very gentle lover cause that is what i thought women wanted. I am very athletic and muscular so the idea of being too aggressive was always on my mind. I started in the era of the Alan Alda sensitive male image for men. Caring, not cave man.
I am very very very, did I say very lucky to date really attractive women.

Unanimously they have said basically "I want you to fuck the shit out of me because most men treat me too nice in bed." I am sure there are wide ranges of desires and no 2 women are alike, and my experience is strictly anecdotal but it seems the pendulum has swung bigtime to the more sexually aggressive male (as long as he is a nice guy overall) than to the sensitive male.
My experience is there is almost no level of sexual aggressive fucking that a man can deliver that a woman will not crave and ask for more. I have even read that younger women EXPECT their partners to take ED meds viagra, cialis, levitra inorder to poundd them for hours.