What to do when he cums too fast?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by LoveItBitch, Jul 19, 2007.

  1. LoveItBitch

    LoveItBitch New Member

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    Ok I've been dating this guy for over a year now and at first sex was all the time all day long anywhere and everywhere.Its died a bit now which I can totally understand cus he works hard.. cardiac surgeon and long hours.He is also from India which kinda contributes to the problem too because being from India,the customes there are so much more different than american customes.Sex is not something you do unless you are married there,nor is it talked about.So he is kinda new to sexual experiences.
    The sex has been great up until recently.I've been gradually introducing him to new things.I bought a vibrator even after he told me not to but I thought to take the right time to Introduce it to him when we were in the middle of hot,,raw and down right dirty sex and I could get him to say yes to anything.Well the time came and he allowed me to play with it during sex.I used it on my clit and because of the timing I guess.. I was about to cum and when it hit my clit it made it really intense and he came too with me.
    Another contribution to this problem is that I cum really fast and really easy,but he knew this and NEVER has this problem occured before that he came so fast until after this incident... Now each time we have sex he ask me to get "the toy". But now when I get "the toy"... he cums way before I can even cum or even get satisfied..
    Some nites ago I waited for him to come home all day long and I was really wanting it.I attacked him as soon as he walked in the door and he asked again for "the toy"... he came within a minute.. and i was left so badly pist off.. I didnt even talk to him and he didnt even notice that I was mad... so what do I do?.. very frustrated here
     
  2. ManlyBanisters

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    The only thing to do is just explain it to him. Tell him the sex isn't satisfying for you like that and he can play with 'the toy' only when you are ready. Unless he's a complete prick he'll understand - and if you've been together a year I think you would have noticed by now if he were a complete prick.
     
  3. D_Neeson Niceone

    D_Neeson Niceone New Member

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    Just sounds like "the toy" doesn't need to make an appearance until you're ready for climax. Also, he might want to consider learning how to last longer.
     
  4. OPPinSLC

    OPPinSLC Member

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    Maybe he could bring you off with "the toy" first, then he could join in.
     
  5. LoveItBitch

    LoveItBitch New Member

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    I thought about just comming out and telling him straight that im not getting satisifed this way,but with his lack of experience and his personality (hes so shy).. I dont want him to think that im comming down on him.Actually im scared to hurt his feelings.I tried to tell him that I was going to put him on "toy restriction" just joking around.. but when I said that he got all sad and started whinning and saying that how much he likes "the toy".. so I just shut up and didnt explain to him why I said that I was gonna put him on restriction... so bascially Im stuck...
     
  6. LoveItBitch

    LoveItBitch New Member

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    He used to last longer before "the toy" came to town.. I miss those days lol
     
  7. ManlyBanisters

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    Well, stick it up his arse and see how much he likes it then! :wink:

    Just kidding - if you want to get back to satisfying sex you are going to have to get past the 'hurting his feelings' stage somehow. Either that or stay unsated yourself.

    Or throw the toy away... if he's shy he won't go buy another himself.
     
  8. LoveItBitch

    LoveItBitch New Member

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    Hmmm bring me off first with it...WITH FOREPLAY!!!!!....OPPinSLC ur a fuckin genious... although shoving it up his ass wud turn me on I think.. Not ready to bring that one out of the bag just yet..
     
  9. dcho

    dcho New Member

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    sounds harsh but maybe hes losing interest? i'd talk to him. then again what do i know.
     
  10. Aplus

    Aplus New Member

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    Sounds like you were just trying to enhance your sex lives, which is commendable I think. You said you cum pretty easily. Does he know that you aren't cumming before he does? He could be taking-it-for-granted that you are. Not all guys are perceptive about such things. He could be thinking the vibe makes you cum as soon as it's touches your clit and vagina. Whatever the case, it's obviously doing something that makes him immediately lose control. Must be a pretty good orgasm for him too since he seems almost addicted to it now. Could also be that he was having trouble holding back before too. It's not always easy sometimes. Your pleasure and orgasm matters too though. I really think you need to handle this before it starts to affect you psychologically. Not saying it's gonna be easy to bring it up, but it's not gonna stop unless you tell him about it. Sounds like you generally enjoyed it with him before, and I'd hate to see you lose your edge and enthusiasm for it.
     
  11. Aplus

    Aplus New Member

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    Can't say I didn't think of that. Could also be that he is just too tired to go for extended lengths sometimes. She did say he worked long hours. Not always easy to have sex when your mind and body is tired.
     
  12. Principessa

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    Communication is the key here you must speak to him about this; the sooner the better.

     
  13. LoveItBitch

    LoveItBitch New Member

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    LMAO.. and ur right.. he wud absolutley die of the embarrassment.... I have to say this and not for my own ego.. dcho said he might be loosing interest... but see thats the thing.. hes not.. I mean I do understand he works long hours.. and he is tired.. and we are way compatible.. (gettin married next month)... and I wudnt trade him for the world... when he is not just comming from work and not over exhausted.. sex is the only thing on his mind.. he is a very sexual person and for him to be culturally different in his ways of sex .. he sure does know what hes doing.. but something about the damn toy ... just gets him everytime.. hes even made the comment to me about the way it makes me cum turns him on too much... so do i keep "the toy" for his pleasure.. or get rid of it for my pleasure?...
     
  14. dcho

    dcho New Member

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    acutally, let me correct myself! what i meant to say was that he was probably disinterested after long hours of work etc.

    but all other factors aside, sounds like a healthy relationship. congrats on the marriage. him cumming too quickly might be a combination of him being tired and or turned on by the fact that you are too. :cool:
     
  15. dolfette

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    i'd just say i'm bored of the toy.

    that i miss the ones he gave me.

    make it about how great he is compared to the gadget.

    ...or just accidentally whack him in the nuts with it :)
     
  16. LoveItBitch

    LoveItBitch New Member

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    Kisses to u dcho.....
     
  17. vibratingfinger

    vibratingfinger New Member

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    What the hell these Indians came up with Kama Sutra. Sex shouldn't be such a foreign concept to them. I've been with Indians girls who were sex freaks. You're thinking too much about the culture thing. Come right out and ask him for what you want. I'm Middle Eastern by origin and I'm used to shy girls from that region. Actually they are the reason I can't stand shy timid girls anymore. Too much guessing and trying to read their fucking minds. It's quite a turn on if a girl asks for something and I don't have to perform a brain surgery on her to figure out what she desires.
     
  18. LoveItBitch

    LoveItBitch New Member

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    Yea Ive noticed that the middle eastern girls are really horny girls... but the true Indian culture is very subtle about the issue.. I mean.. India.. the country who arrested Richard Geere for kissing an actress on the cheek at a function in Bollywood... Human display of affection is illegal in Indian.. not even hugs.. u get fines for hugs in public there...So yea... the culture is very subtle to the whole sex thing... getting better and becomming more modernized.. but dang i cant modernize a whole country.. im trying but i need sum help here lol LMAO
     
  19. Not_Punny

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    Wow, bummer. I don't like/use vibrators myself -- my personal experience was that they "numbed" me to the many other nuances of sex. I soooo much prefer sex without them. So I'm all with ManlyBanisters ---

     
  20. Not_Punny

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    P.S. He could even witness its "accidental" demise!
     
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