What to do when someone that you love....

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by morsecode, Dec 3, 2009.

  1. morsecode

    morsecode New Member

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    immensely is thinking about killing herself?

    I'm sort of fucked up right now, so I'll post more details later, or maybe not... I don't know. I'll just wait for some preliminary opinions.
     
  2. mr_unattractive

    mr_unattractive New Member

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    Just thinking is one thing, but if there is a plan and a method, GET HELP NOW. Be brave and ask. You could save a life.
     
  3. D_Pubert Stabbingpain

    D_Pubert Stabbingpain Account Disabled

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    Mmmm, need more info on that "someone you love immensely" part as well as your awareness of this person's psychological history. If you are living with them or they are a family member, encourage them to seek professional help. Many people have such thoughts, especially between Thanksgiving and New Years, it is seasonal depression. There really is nothing else you can do unless they actually attempt it and that is a 911 call.

    If you love them as a result of being in some kind of relationship but not actually living with them be aware that people can use such tactical threats in order to achieve sympathy, etc. and you should also encourage professional help but run like hell or you will end up seeking professional help for yourself as well.
     
  4. B_jeepguy2

    B_jeepguy2 New Member

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    I have been thinking about doing it off and on ever since I was a teen...and I probably will one day unless I happen to die of natural causes first.
     
  5. D_Geaffartson_Glandhammer

    D_Geaffartson_Glandhammer Account Disabled

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    Encourage her NOT to do that and seek professional help immediately.
     
  6. tray22nc

    tray22nc New Member

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    Find either a local or national suicide hotline ASAP.
     
  7. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    I found no solution to this issue when I faced it, M. My only advice is to try and get her into some counseling and tell her family, but, also try to realize whatever her ultimate actions are, you have no control over or responsibility for them.
     
  8. likitisplit

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    Please act and help her get help now. If she's expressed doing this to you, it's a cry for help. Now you can help if you act, she needs you or someone. Why does she or anyone find life not worth living? I've lived through the worst life can give and it's hard but life can be happy. I hope she survives this. What is done and not done...can't be undone. Good luck.
     
  9. Principessa

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    Just went through this with the ex-bf. Question her friends and family. Find out if she has thought about or attempted suicide before. Even if it was 10 years ago, it counts. Sometimes people are what's known as para suicidal. They threaten or may even make a lame attempt at suicide. This is a cry for help, for whatever reason they feel unable to get the help on their own. GET HER TO A MENTAL/BEHAVIORAL HEALTH CARE FACILITY!! She needs to be assessed. She may not need inpatient treatment; but she definetely needs therapy and probably meds.

    Parasuicidal behavior describes two similar phenomena:

    Both types of phenomena are related to less severe cases of depression and/or to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Men are more likely to engage in the first sort, and women in the second.

    The first type of parasuicidal behavior manifests itself in acts such as knowingly driving too fast, performing dangerous work without safety equipment, or bingesubstance abuse. The person doing these things gives the overwhelming impression that while he doesn't necessarily want to kill himself, he's not particularly concerned if that's how things turn out.

    The second type accounts for many near-suicides that end up in hospitals. Attempting to kill one's self by an overdose of aspirin, perhaps, or choosing a method, time, or location that will virtually ensure discovery and intervention are examples of this type of behavior. This behavior is seen much more often in women; when men commit suicide, they usually use a gun. Volunteers on suicide hotlines say that women often call asking for help, perhaps saying "I feel like one day I might kill myself". Men are more likely to call and say "I have a gun in my hand."

    Both types of behavior can (and probably should) be seen as a call for help from an individual who can't make that call in other ways.

     
  10. PurpleThrillHammer

    PurpleThrillHammer New Member

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    If you are aware of her intent to kill herself, YOU HAVE TO GET HER HELP!!!
     
  11. PurpleThrillHammer

    PurpleThrillHammer New Member

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    parasuicidal - Wow describes my livestyle to a "T", now I have a name for it :wink:
     
  12. dolfette

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    people, you can't force a partner to see a doc or a shrink. making the guy feel like he has to achieve this is unreasonable. he's only human and all he can do is talk to her and hope for the best.
    psych services won't take her in and force her to get treatment just because he says she needs it.

    it's a crappy, powerless place to be.

    my suggestions would be the obvious...offer to go with her, tell her that you want/need her to get help, leave leaflets for her, offer to listen without judging or arguing.
     
  13. hsarge

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    Let her know how important she is to you life and the life of others. But Dolfette is right; you cant take blame or feel responsible for the free will of some one else. You can suggest, nudge, reason, and guide, but you can't make someone do anything. They will only do something when they can create the rational for themselves.
     
  14. the_reverend

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    be there for her, let her know she's loved, support her as best you can...but in the end, she's responsible for her own life and all you can do is help her help herself. best of luck and prayers with you both.
     
  15. nudeyorker

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    It sounds like both of you are in a difficult place right now. I would suggest that you start by sitting down and sharing your feelings with her and encourage her to share her feelings with you.
    It has not been mentioned but I also think it might be a good idea for her to have a physical check up with her primary care physician. From there maybe he or she can suggest medication and/or counseling. Best wishes to you both.
     
  16. drac

    drac New Member

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    I think you need to consider the alternative, i know people who have talked about it, most are looking for attention, yes they are. The ones that decide to go on meds, are still messed up. I have once told my friend if he was absolutely serious, i would pull the trigger for him, in fact i insisted, yeah i know this sounds cold and crewl, well guess what, he never thought like that again because he wasnt gonna get the sympathy from me that he was looking for. He is absolutely fine now. Most people that feel like killing themselves and tell other people about it without doing, arent really gonna do it, the ones that are serious about suicide are dead before you get there.
     
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