To put it in lamens terms, you were a whiny lil %#@ that was sucking all the love out of her and kept craving for special attention while you had nothing to offer her, no status no money no pleasure no support, nothing but the constant whining and making your life totally dependant on her.
Her study, or your alcoholic incident had nothing to do with why she stopped loving you, it's just that you made yourself so undesirable that there was nothing left to love but memories of the past.
Be a man, be your own person first and always.
Doesn't mean you don't have feelings or desires it just means that you have to take responsibility for your actions and not let others control if you are happy or sad.
This is a fact that I accepted shortly before you posted this and I accepted it. I understand why she would lose attraction for me because I was going though a very tough time in terms of my career but now I am in the process of fixing these issues and making myself a better person as a whole.
I disagree with you saying I was a whiny b%$ch and craved her attention because that's not how the end of the relationship went.
I failed to satisfy her, I didn't see her much because I thought if I came to see her I would have been a negative distraction. This was my mistake. I stopped doing the things that she loved me for and I took it for granted.
I see the mistakes I made and I wish I knew I was making them earlier so I could avoid making them but for right now I feel like I'm in hell. I'm trying my
best to take your advice to man up and stay NC but it's hard for me to stay strong. I am keeping NC but whenever I see mutual friends on facebook upload pictures of her, I start crying.
I really want to learn to be stronger. I'm working hard to improve the person I am but my emotions and memories of us together always bring me down.
I really appreciate your bluntness WhiteMonst3r, it helps a lot. If you have any tips on how to stay strong, it would help because right now, I hate being a "whiny b%^tch". I never used to be so emotionally weak.