B_subgirrl
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What to do?
- Thread starter D_Morockthornton Longwilliam
- Start date
helgaleena
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*UPDATE*...
Ok guys.....it 's been a crazy week and my EX gf is just as bad as her stalker ex bf/bf I now found out.
Just got back from 5 days at her cottage.She said she wanted us to be alone after her terrible ordeal.
We got there on Sunday and everything was cool.Great weather and great fun.
Monday morning she wakes up crying and telling me it's over between us and that she really does love her ex and that she has decided he's the guy for her and that she doesn't love me and that he's the only guy she can ever love.
She tells me she doesn't want to throw their 6 years together away and that he really loves her and has ony good intentions
Then today she tells me that he is flying in to see her next weekend and that she is so happy and looking forward to it! WTF?
So it looks like I'm single again and nice guys really do finish last.
WTF?????
Ok guys.....it 's been a crazy week and my EX gf is just as bad as her stalker ex bf/bf I now found out.
Just got back from 5 days at her cottage.She said she wanted us to be alone after her terrible ordeal.
We got there on Sunday and everything was cool.Great weather and great fun.
Monday morning she wakes up crying and telling me it's over between us and that she really does love her ex and that she has decided he's the guy for her and that she doesn't love me and that he's the only guy she can ever love.
She tells me she doesn't want to throw their 6 years together away and that he really loves her and has ony good intentions
Then today she tells me that he is flying in to see her next weekend and that she is so happy and looking forward to it! WTF?
So it looks like I'm single again and nice guys really do finish last.
WTF?????
HiddenLacey
Cherished Member
I'm sorry 
This is a situation you were best not having to deal with anyway. If she had actually wanted to be away from him I could see you wanting to support her.
Obviously shes doing what she thinks is best for her. People in those situations can become totally brainwashed.
Your better off without her.
PS: Nice guys do not finish last, they move on)
This is a situation you were best not having to deal with anyway. If she had actually wanted to be away from him I could see you wanting to support her.Obviously shes doing what she thinks is best for her. People in those situations can become totally brainwashed.
Your better off without her.
PS: Nice guys do not finish last, they move on
)
Restraining orders can help, and I wish I could have been smart enough to get one once. I dated this idiot for three weeks before finding out he was a complete lunatic. Great guy the first date, second was strange, third was wacko material! So, I broke it off in the middle of it. He cried, and I guess that should have been the first warning sign. He showed up at my work, he parked outside my house. I'd tell him to leave and he would, so I thought he was harmless. I had a daughter at home, so I started to get nervous.
Then the bastard moved into the apartment one floor below! I freaked out! I tried to get a restraining order (Atlanta) but was told that I should have done it before he moved, because that was now his legal domicile. If I had the order before he could not have moved there.
Even if she thinks it's frivolous she should get one. I had to move, and I'm surprised the bastard didn't find my forwarding address.
Then the bastard moved into the apartment one floor below! I freaked out! I tried to get a restraining order (Atlanta) but was told that I should have done it before he moved, because that was now his legal domicile. If I had the order before he could not have moved there.
Even if she thinks it's frivolous she should get one. I had to move, and I'm surprised the bastard didn't find my forwarding address.
helgaleena
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Good luck without the crazy situation in your life any longer. You have won, not lost! Because you are getting away.
AlteredEgo
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One of my best friends has a stalker like this. She reads every message he sends because there is a cycle, and she feels safer knowing which end of the cycle she's in. First come the messages, letters and gifts that say he has no idea what he did to lose her, he loves her, he needs her, she's an angel, and he wants her back.
Then come the sappy love song lyrics posted to the missed encounters section of craig's list. Then come the posts in that section which are threatening, and creepy. Then come the three AM hang-up phone calls. Then come the messages on her machine calling her a whore and a slut. Then come the web searches to find out what she's doing in her community, and what her current involvement in local politics is, and the calls to her places of business, and her volunteer opportunities, and the politicians for whom she campaigns, and the organization through which she is a beauty queen. Then there's radio silence, and soon after he's lovey-dovey again. She is not permitted to advance her career, her causes, or her love life. He always finds her, and always ruins everything.
She has had restraining orders. They were useless pieces of paper. They don't cover all forms of harassment, and if he violated them physically, she could be dead before the first cop got the slightest inkling. She has moved. She has changed her numbers. He always finds a way to be scary. One day, I think she'll be forced to kill him. I wish that wasn't my honest opinion. She's involved with a man now whose family is so well off she's about to become a public figure again whenever this man proposes, which I think may be soon. I seriously hope they elope. I think he'd go to their wedding and mow them down.
When I was a teenager, I had a restraining order against a man who'd raped me. It was useless. His wife and friends harassed me daily, by phone, for years, even though he was never prosecuted.
I have had several other friends with restraining orders that did nothing. I think the kind of person against whom one needs an order of protection are not intimidated by court documents and lawyers, or cops.
Anyway, the OP is clearly better off without his own psycho ex, and now free to move on to find someone who isn't a complete lunatic.
Then come the sappy love song lyrics posted to the missed encounters section of craig's list. Then come the posts in that section which are threatening, and creepy. Then come the three AM hang-up phone calls. Then come the messages on her machine calling her a whore and a slut. Then come the web searches to find out what she's doing in her community, and what her current involvement in local politics is, and the calls to her places of business, and her volunteer opportunities, and the politicians for whom she campaigns, and the organization through which she is a beauty queen. Then there's radio silence, and soon after he's lovey-dovey again. She is not permitted to advance her career, her causes, or her love life. He always finds her, and always ruins everything.
She has had restraining orders. They were useless pieces of paper. They don't cover all forms of harassment, and if he violated them physically, she could be dead before the first cop got the slightest inkling. She has moved. She has changed her numbers. He always finds a way to be scary. One day, I think she'll be forced to kill him. I wish that wasn't my honest opinion. She's involved with a man now whose family is so well off she's about to become a public figure again whenever this man proposes, which I think may be soon. I seriously hope they elope. I think he'd go to their wedding and mow them down.
When I was a teenager, I had a restraining order against a man who'd raped me. It was useless. His wife and friends harassed me daily, by phone, for years, even though he was never prosecuted.
I have had several other friends with restraining orders that did nothing. I think the kind of person against whom one needs an order of protection are not intimidated by court documents and lawyers, or cops.
Anyway, the OP is clearly better off without his own psycho ex, and now free to move on to find someone who isn't a complete lunatic.
Last edited:
B_subgirrl
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This.
I'm sorry
Obviously shes doing what she thinks is best for her. People in those situations can become totally brainwashed.
And this. He had her under his thumb for years. That's not something you can escape from easily in an emotional sense, and it seems she wasn't strong enough to do it. Some people are determined to keep putting themselves back into danger so I don't think there was anything you could have done to help her. You sound like a caring guy though. Good luck in your future relationships.
true.
my sis recently ditched mr wonderful to go back to the loony ex who gave her a breakdown. fortunately mr wonderful was still there when she came to her senses.
when a bully has been getting into a victim's head for years, drip feeding them self doubt and the belief that they need their bully in order to survive, it's a long and complex process to break away.
my sis recently ditched mr wonderful to go back to the loony ex who gave her a breakdown. fortunately mr wonderful was still there when she came to her senses.
when a bully has been getting into a victim's head for years, drip feeding them self doubt and the belief that they need their bully in order to survive, it's a long and complex process to break away.
