What to do?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Niiko8, Dec 6, 2011.

  1. Niiko8

    Niiko8 Member

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    I've been with my girlfriend (Girl A) for almost a year now and it's been great, we're both musicians which makes things even better. The only problem is she refuses to come to any of the gigs I do with my jazz band because her and ex-friend (Vocalist of the band, Girl-B) had a falling out over a picture that my gf didn't put in a collage by accident. Wasn't really much of a falling out as it was the vocalist writing a lengthy, and fairly colourful, Facebook message about betrayal. I've honestly done nothing about the situation as my gf didn't want to "Cause me any problems", none of the guys we hang out with in our group have said anything even though we all know girl-B was wrong to have done it but I'm seriously thinking that enough is enough and things need to be set straight because it's obviously hurting the both of them and I'm like an old man, I like to live my life hassle free :tongue:

    So am I doing the right thing or will I just potentially make things worse? I was thinking of just sitting them both down in a room and just talking it out.
     
  2. willow78

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    Maybe they can sort it out by jelly-wrestling.
     
  3. helgaleena

    Gold Member

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    It's a case of all of you being friends, not really a problem with your girl and you. There is a step that has to come before the 'sitting down in a room together', same as with any other persons, and that is to approach each of them individually to see if they want to be friends again or not. Both have to desire that before it will work.

    If you truly want to be laid-back about things, quit worrying about whether or not your girl is present at your gigs. As long as you are free to go to HER gigs, she'll be happy enough.
     
  4. B_Hickboy

    B_Hickboy New Member

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    Walk the zebra. Pitch to the elephant.
     
  5. jameshawket

    jameshawket Member

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    I'm going to give you a piece of information that every guy in the world needs to know:

    Girls HATE each other. They don't dislike, they HATE. Sometimes, for no reason, sometimes, for big reasons, and sometimes because of reasons like the one you described.

    Putting them in a room together and have them "talk it out" will result in two things.

    A) Your girlfriend will think you're an ass for putting her in a room with a girl she obviously doesn't like. She may not outright say it, but I promise she'll think it.

    B) They'll act fake, and pretend to like each other because they're in the presence of someone else, AKA, you. They'll have fake words and fake smiles, and pretend everything is ok.

    The only way things will be fixed between them is if and when they are ready.

    If you want ANY results to come, you need to have an honest, heart to heart with your girl about how you FEEL about the fact that she doesn't come. Tell her why you want her to be there, but don't guilt her. Tell her that you respect her no matter her decision, but that you would really like it if she tried to make up with this girl.

    I promise you, that's the only way anything will be fixed.

    I speak fluent girl, or so I've been told. Please don't try anything drastic, because when it comes to girls, I promise it will backfire.

    Good luck.
     
  6. Niiko8

    Niiko8 Member

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    I think you're right, thanks. I just don't like the idea of me, even though it's my job really, going out and doing gigs, having fun and whatnot while she's sat home lonely watching Eastenders and eating vast amounts of ice cream haha. But it's the awkwardness of going out when they're both there, or it's the "We can't talk about it" attitude with the rest of us.

    But thanks for the reply guys, I won't be doing anything then.
     
  7. snbk

    snbk New Member

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    But thanks for the reply guys, I won't be doing anything then

    this was going to be my vote too.
    women are pack creatures. if you try to interfere with their rift
    they'll bond
    and be against you...and each other.
    and that is just...well..when we sink our teeth in there's no turning back.
    if you do sit them down together to make sure they talk it out,
    your girlfriend will wonder why you made so much effort for the other one's happiness..
    lol
    just keeeep doing your gig and let the chips fall where they may
    and if your girlfriend doesnt want to come out to them, and that's a deal breaker for you then break it. or deal.
     
  8. sexplease

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    find one you like, feather her nest then go out with the guys and have fun
     
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