What was her deal?

[LemacST]

So I was seeing this girl for a bit...I was friends with her but we always had this mutual attraction going on and whatever. We started unofficially dating. We would go out with our mutual friends, and maybe I didn't notice this before about her, but I noticed she always kept dropping innuedos about size, and how she likes "big ones". She would do it very often, somtimes like up to 5 times in one night. It was always stupid and immature on her part, maybe in hopes of sounding "cool"...it'd be completely random, for example, if she found a phallic-like object and it was kind of big, she would make a point out of it. One thing I forgot to mention is that maybe a few months before I began seeing her, she had this supposed religious epiphany and because of it, made a promise to herself that she would not have sex till she got married (just wait...). Well, back to what I was saying, she would constantly talk about her supposed love for "big ones". By now, we have slept in my bed and she DID feel my boner(s) through my shorts (she said it herself), and she continued with the size mentionings and all of that. If you don't already know, I'm pretty average at something like 6-6.5" x 5-5.25", so the things she kept consistantly saying were not exactly flattering me. Back to this religious epiphany thing though, she told my friend (who later told me) that she was "seriously reconsidering her decision" on whether or not to have sex before she's married because of me. But wait--I'm average, not big. "Small" by her standards, maybe. Why does she so badly want to have sex with me? It didn't make sense to me. Then I started thinking a bit and I noticed that she would very often tell me that I would not make her "feel special as a girl" or in a sense seperate her from "the others". Was she really just trying to make me jelous? The reason it's just kind of weird is because she was saying those things before, during and after my fling with her, she just seemed to emphasise it more after me not really responding to her cries of extra attention. Eitherway, she pisses me off. That's one thing you cannot try to break a guys ego with...I could of very easily told her that her completely 100% flat tits was mysterious considering she was a bit pudgy among other terrible things, but I'm not that cold of a person. She's just vile to me anyways though.

Sorry about that. Anyways, reflect please!

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

If she's vile to you why do you continue seeing her, friends are supposed to be supportive and make us feel good about ourselves, tell us the truth but not in a hurtful way. Possibly her decision to 'wait till she's married' is getting to her, its normal to have sex and less normal to deny yourself so maybe sex is on her mind a lot more than if she was actually getting some. Sex is a big thing (to me at least) and it should mean something but it isn't everything and I often feel that people who are saving it till they get married are actually investing their virginity with more value than it's worth, virginity is neither a good nor bad thing but to imply that you're waiting till you're married automatically carries with it an implication that the person thinks that sex is a little dirty and should only be done when it's in some way sanctioned by marriage. Her constant harping on phallic objects must mean that she's feeling she wants sex, but her denial of her desires must create a conflict in her. She sounds a little mixed up, there are plenty of women who aren't and who don't play games and will make you feel good and let you make them feel good, find one of them.

 

[whatireallywant]

Heehee... my friend says "Sex is evil, vile and dirty - and so you should save it up and give it to your husband on your wedding night!" :biggrin1:

Yeah, I never understood the "wait until you're married" thing. Never did really, even though I was raised to supposedly believe this. I never did think like the people where I grew up though.

 

[LemacST]

I appreciate your input, let me clear some things up though

1. I'm not seeing her anymore. This was months ago, I just keep wondering
2. She's not a virgin. She's had sex with like 4 people to my knowledge. She was in a very serious relationship with this one much older guy for like two years, then they broke up, she was single for about 6 months and then I came in the picture
3. Despite her playing the role of a size queen, she continuously tried getting me to have sex with her. She'd sleep over my place and do things in hopes of me continuing and eventually having sex with her (she wanted me to be the initator and not her for obvious reasons). I actually once ended up straight-up denying her, which I felt really bad about, but I gave her enough clues to know to stop trying to have sex with me because it wasn't going to happen. She threw a huge fit though.
4. I didn't want to have sex with her because we're not made for each other and if I ended up having sex with her, I'm sure I'd leave her quickly, which would be horrible...especially considering the whole having sex thing despite the religious epiphany thing
5. She is vile to me because I have a strong feeling she went around implying to people that I'm "small" and/or other things that would damage my repuation, which is much worse than me not giving her all the attention she wishes she could of gotten from me. She is totally the kind to do that. She was also a horrible, sloppy kisser, a manipulative/abusive girl and was extremely condescending to everyone and everything because of her insecurities. As horrible as it is to say I just kind of realized that she is a rotten person.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

Then you're well rid of her.

 

[LemacST]

Then you're well rid of her.

I know. I just can't believe I gave her the benefit of the doubt though.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

Don't think of yourself badly for that, it's a good quality to think kindly of people, if you always expect people to let you down it sours your whole life, better to be unexpectedly let down once in a while than spend all your days waiting to be let down.

 

[wldhoney]

I'm not sure if I am understanding correctly.

What I am getting is that while around you she would talk about how much she liked big ones, she told you she felt you thru your shorts when sleeping with you, and that she wanted to break her religious stance because she wanted to be with you, and she tried to have sex with you, but you never did.

Then she also started telling you that she didn't think you would make her feel special.

Maybe I am wrong, but it sounds more like she wanted you, to her you were big or she thought she was flattering you not realizing that by pointing out objects that are larger than you, it was having the opposite effect.

And the remarks about making her feel special....sounds to me like she was fishing or hinting to you that she wanted you to say something or make some kind of declaration that she was special to you. She may not have the skills to communicate what she really means or was to afraid to ask you directly.

Of course, I don't know if she put you down in any way outside of how you felt about your size. Did she talk about being with other guys that were better or bigger than you specifically? Did she put you down as far as looks or behavior or likes or intelligence?

 

[LemacST]

Don't think of yourself badly for that, it's a good quality to think kindly of people, if you always expect people to let you down it sours your whole life, better to be unexpectedly let down once in a while than spend all your days waiting to be let down.

That's very true...it backfired on me this time though. Lesson learned, however.

 

[LemacST]

I'm not sure if I am understanding correctly.

What I am getting is that while around you she would talk about how much she liked big ones, she told you she felt you thru your shorts when sleeping with you, and that she wanted to break her religious stance because she wanted to be with you, and she tried to have sex with you, but you never did.

Then she also started telling you that she didn't think you would make her feel special.

Maybe I am wrong, but it sounds more like she wanted you, to her you were big or she thought she was flattering you not realizing that by pointing out objects that are larger than you, it was having the opposite effect.

And the remarks about making her feel special....sounds to me like she was fishing or hinting to you that she wanted you to say something or make some kind of declaration that she was special to you. She may not have the skills to communicate what she really means or was to afraid to ask you directly.

Of course, I don't know if she put you down in any way outside of how you felt about your size. Did she talk about being with other guys that were better or bigger than you specifically? Did she put you down as far as looks or behavior or likes or intelligence?

This is basically right.

I think she talked about size and how she liked "big ones" because either
a)She was trying to flatter me and make me think I am one of the big guys (which I'm not at all and it only makes me feel self concious if she were to imply it)
or
b)She was trying to make me jelous through gushing about her great sexual experiences with "big ones".

I'm sure it started off with A then later turned into B.

It got to a point where it was me, her and three of my friends all went to the beach. She started talking about her past sexual experiences, in depth. She said her first boyfriend (who we all knew) was so big that it "didn't work the first few times" (fitting in). After that she told us about the smallest guy she's been with (she claimed he was like "an inch or two long" but in reality he was probably like 4" I'd guess) and how she didn't feel anything and whatever. The topic changed but a little later this one guy we're all friends with got brought up and she was like "I'd totally do him...I heard he has a big one".

This was all while she was laying ontop of me LICKING MY STOMACH UP AND DOWN, basically grinding on me and doing all sorts of shit (very publically).


Except for pointing out phallic objects or using sexual puns randomly like she probably still does to this day, only once more was talk about size brought up. It was one of the last night she slept over, I was getting extremely tired of her and I kind of showed it. I didn't have the heart to kick her out though (all the times was visiting me from like two hours away) because she'd have nowhere to stay. She kept trying to interrogate me and ask me what was wrong and I kept denying all her inquiries, after maybe four different things she was like "..are you upset about something you can't change?" I said no, but I knew exactly waht she was implying which made things much worse. Ugh.

 

[LemacST]

Do you see what I mean here? If she truely was fascinated by "big ones" and was a size queen, she woudln't of always been on me, licking me, sucking my neck and doing other things in hopes of me intiating sex with her. This might sound funny but she actually somewhat date-raped me. She was furious that she didn't have the power of getting me to have sex with her...something most girls have over guys.

So this is why I'm thinking she was just saying all of that to make me feel self concious, which it did, but she was too fucking retarded to realize that bringing that subject up to a guy, no matter how endowed he is, will destroy things.

 

[wldhoney]

Honestly, I think she really liked you, wanted you, and wanted to pursue more, but that for some reason she is really bad at verbalizing it.

I believe her intent was to reassure you that she thought you were big.

I don't think she would have told you she wanted to change her convictions, whether they were real or not, if she did not really like you.

And, she tried to find out what was wrong, taking a chance at being rejected, which is how I as a woman tend to feel when I get the response "nothing".

I also think that in a little way you are sensitive about your size, which is actually above average and very nice. It's hard not to compare yourself to others. Girls do it to, for example, bigger breasts.

Don't worry about it. Just be you and if a girl wants you and you want her, enjoy it.