what was your biggest heartbreak moment?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Maurice Mountlilly, Jan 29, 2011.

  1. D_Maurice Mountlilly

    D_Maurice Mountlilly Account Disabled

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    not to dwell on the past(but iguess i am.....LOL)
    what was the moment you thought .."damn.. i can't believe this is happening,love is painful..and this hurts so bad?
    yeah..i know we all bounce back(hopefully)but when it went down when that breakup happened how was it for you? and what made you bounce back?
     
  2. D_Rod Staffinbone

    D_Rod Staffinbone Account Disabled

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    there's an old saying "the only cure for a heartbreak is another heartbreak",
    there's a lot of truth in that. "heartbreak" could mean falling in love again.
     
  3. sleepiboi

    sleepiboi Member

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    I haven't had a relationship to where I felt heartbreak, but I have felt it from past relationships where 3 in a row all ended the same, making it think it was me...maybe it is, but oh well.
     
  4. LaFemme

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    I've had 3 major heartbreaks. The first was when I was 22 and I realized that my boyfriend was cheating on me. He wasn't a good guy overall and I knew we would never be together permanently, but I still loved him like he was a part of me. I remember the moment I found out.... I vomited til I ended up with a migraine that put me in the hospital. I lost 40lbs and my hair fell out. That first real love can be a killer.

    Second time I was about 35. It was a man I met online. We exchanged pics and talked on the phone.... he would send me flowers and beautiful letters. He was planning to move in with me (all the way from Australia). It was assumed that if it worked out, then maybe marriage? Suddenly I didn't hear from him for a week which was so unusual. Then finally he contacted me and said that before he quit his job and moved he had a confession: he had lied about his age. He was not 39, but 59. The pictures he had sent were 20 years old. I'll never forget the feeling as I watched his real face fill my monitor. The lie was too big.... I fell to my knees the shock was so great. I never spoke to him again.

    The 3rd time? About 2 hours ago. But it's been going on for a few months now. My heart has been having little pieces sliced off bit by bit - the worst of it a few weeks ago. It was as if a steel wall slammed down and there was no way I could get to his heart. The pain was excruciating. Still is actually. Tonight was almost anticlimactic - it ended with the words, "no, baby". And that was that. He said 'no'.

    I think the first and the last were the worst. It's horrible to lose your first love; it's horrible to lose the last love, when you think you have finally have found "the one" and that this person is the reward for all the heartache you've endured before.

    Heartache makes one feel so powerless. All you can do is let the grief wash over you and learn what you can from the experience. I think that everyone should experience it once - then you know you can survive. More than one heartache - I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It erodes you, makes you doubt yourself - you can feel so broken. Personally, I have no intention of going thru this again. After three of these experiences, I don't think I have enough heart left to risk it.
     
    #4 LaFemme, Jan 30, 2011
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2011
  5. offside

    offside Well-Known Member

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    I decided that I'm just not boyfriend material. So I save myself the bother. So many dates and so many "no's" takes it's toll - As painful as it is some times
    Loneliness seems like a much better option. Besides I can't miss what I never had - right?
     
  6. D_Aston Asstonne

    D_Aston Asstonne Account Disabled

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    Bout age 20.My gf and i had broke up and she relocated to sweden and got married shortly after.
     
  7. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    My biggest heartbreak was when I was 17 and had to break up with my fiance. There were a zillion reasons why he wasn't good for me, but the deal breaker was that he smoked way more pot than he could afford to pay for. His addiction was costing ME $175 a week. But I loved him to bits. Leaving him broke my heart.
     
  8. D_Sigmund Fockbuddy

    D_Sigmund Fockbuddy Account Disabled

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    It was when my first serious girlfriend decided to choose journalism school over me. I still remember the day she got accepted to a college in the States, how initially I was naively happy for her, and actually being the one who handed her the acceptance letter.

    Only for her to sit me down 3 hours later to tell me what it all entailed.
     
  9. prepky

    prepky New Member

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    when my exwife was having PPD (after our second child) and wouldnt seek treatment and decided she wanted out......
     
  10. MisterSix

    MisterSix New Member

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    Told a girl that I was falling for her. She said she didn't feel the same way. Embarrassing? Heartbreaking? Shocking? Yes, all of those.
     
  11. Gillette

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    Truer words...

    The first time I experienced it felt like a punch in the gut. That was just from being told he'd been seen holding hands with another girl. It felt like a worse betrayal than sex.

    Over the years other relationships have ended with reactions ranging from relief to pain but none hit me as hard as the first until a couple of years ago when I fell into the most natural camaraderie I have ever felt with another person, had it deepen over months, only (for reasons I won't go into) to have it trickle and wink out in the space of a week. I've never felt so eviscerated.
    The question, "Why?", echoed through my head for months until eventually the brain took over. I knew why he did it.

    The real question was why didn't I allow myself to see the clues that told me he would do this. In hindsight I could see every one of them.

    It's the self doubt that cripples you.
     
  12. mexdude

    mexdude New Member

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    Yea, it feels quite bad, probably worse when you actually see them
     
  13. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    about 40 yrs ago, I was 19 and met a gal I just flipped head over heels for. we both drank some and loved to smoke pot. one Friday nite we had plans to meet up and party with friends. late in the afternoon, she told me she was gonna score some pot that evening and meet me. well, she had no wait to get to the "meet" point until I picked her up. a friend was with us, as we drove to the outskirts of town to make the deal. I knew who she going to meet, and we got there and he was sitting further off the road than I wanted to go.

    anyway, she got out of my car, walked over to his, and got in. I could see them smoking and trying the weed out. the windows fogged up pretty bad, but after awhile I could see she was giving him a BJ for the weed. we had not had sex yet, but that afternoon there were little indicators that we were going to that nite. afterwards, she came over, got in the car, handed the bag to our friend in the back, told him to roll a joint, gruffly. I tried not to get upset, and did not, but I was in shock and really don't know what I said, if anything. we drove to a bonfire party. my friend pulled me aside and asked me if I knew what was going on. I said, I did. he wandered off. She & I walked around for awhile, finally got a spot on a big blanket, with another blanket to cover us. But shortly after we got comfortable she started crying, and wanted me to take her home, so I did. she got out and ran to her front door. we still remained friends but drifted apart. then I ran into her in a bar years later, and she was begging me to fuck her. she was too drunk. my gf was also in the bar at the time.

    over the years, I have seen her come into a bar and say to guys she knows,"get me fucked up on whatever and I'll do anything you want." and she is or was good looking and always had a guy take her up on the offer. I am married, so she never extended that offer to me. altho, a mutual male, married friend took her home a couple times. his wife and he have an open marriage, I have heard.

    so I fell for a good looking gal, smart, funny, who had such low self esteem.


    OR more bluntly, she's a whore for drugs.
     
    #13 B_625girth, Jan 30, 2011
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2011
  14. cock mcgnarly

    cock mcgnarly Member

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    just found out my girl friend of over 5yrs slept with her co worker. i noticed the cold shoulder vibe for a few weeks before and heard her talking to him one night on the phone and knew what was going on. mustered up the strength and told her if she wasn't happy and wanted to go pursue this other guy i would set her free. she turned me down on the offer saying we could work it out and she still loved me blah blah blah. then she comes home late one night and won't look me in the eyes i knew something had happened but she wouldn't fess up. next morning she is up early and i can hear her typing a long email then she heads to work. well i found the email summarizing the great sex and plans for the future as soon as the other guy broke up with his girlfriend (so they are both cheating here) and that was the end. i kicked her out of the house that morning and haven't said a word to her since. she had been texting and emailing me daily trying to get me to let her see my dog (she took the other dog) and hang out with a few half hearted sorrys thrown in. never felt so much hurt in my life. i was basically reduced to her back up plan while she fell in love with and fucked this other guy right in front of me. i'm just not the jelouse type didn't think it was big deal since the other guy had a hot girlfriend. the worst part is knowing that she is trying to come crawling back but i have to keep pushing her away as much as i still love her. there is no way i could ever trust her again (she did something similar minus the sex before so 2nd time offender) so there is no base to rebuild a relationship on. i'm back on the fuk em and leave em before the do it to you train again.
     
    #14 cock mcgnarly, Jan 30, 2011
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2011
  15. D_Sigmund Fockbuddy

    D_Sigmund Fockbuddy Account Disabled

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    ^^^ Be strong cock mgnarly...you did the right thing every step of the way
     
  16. ligabue

    ligabue New Member

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    My bf told me, pretty much out of the blue, that he'd rather be single. No elaboration. There was nothing I could do. I cried all night and into the next day.

    Glad that's over.
     
  17. Ron Wilson

    Ron Wilson Member

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    Had my heart broken once, so badly that I never really want to love again. The feelings were overwhelming and unexpected. Still not over it, not sure I ever will be. I'm tired of waiting for the feelings to subside.
     
  18. XSILVER

    XSILVER Well-Known Member

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    4 1/2 years dating my best friend in high school on the down low. no one ever knew he an i were gay or even together. We did everything together! He came over one night and told me out of the blue that (because he was going away to school --- 45 mins away) he wanted to end it. 5 Minutes later, he was gone. It caught me completly off guard and I was distroyed. A month later he went off the school and I tried to keep in touch but he didnt have any intensions to do the same. It took be a good 6 months to start feeling better. On top of it, There was no one i could go to to cry or just talk to. We did not speak for abour 5 years after that and were always connected by mutual friends. We bumped into each other at a friends birthday in 2008 and got to talking. The next weekend we met at a friends condo down town and went out for a couple drinks. Well what i didnt know is that he is now a heavy alcoholic and ended up coming on to me at my friends place afterwards (very strongly) and all of these (what i thought were) dead emotions started to rush back into play. Logic quickly took over and i stopped him there and he passed out.

    Long story even longer, about 5 months after re connecting with him (as friends) and knowing he wanted me back, I met the love of my life and my ex has never spoke with me since.

    I went through hell for about 8 years with him and looking back I cant help to say "HOW THE HELL COULD I HAVE BEEN SOOO STUPID?" This goes to show you that life is all about lessions and learning from your mistakes AND everything happens for a reason. If I had never reconnected with my ex, I would have never met person "B" who introduced me to my boyfriend of almost 2 years now. all-in-all LIFE IS GREAT!
     
  19. avatarng

    avatarng Member

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    I was 20 and on my second partner. He was older and at the time I very love him and he said we would be together forever. Well!!! that did not last 6 months. It turn out that he felt for another guy and one day he ask me to leave. At the time I have no place to go and in some way he was a good guy. he helped me get my very own apt., help me move out. It took me a while to get over him and thank god I did. I found myself a great and wonderful guy a few months after and we have been together for 24 years now.
     
  20. EmJay

    EmJay New Member

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    I'm so sorry for you lafemme..really am. Stay strong!:frown1:
     
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