what was your biggest heartbreak moment?

EmJay

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The biggest heartbreak was over 2,5 years ago. About to move for him to Sweden..he helped me clear out my house, rented it for a year..and he would come to get my stuff about 2 months later (they were in storage). 1 month later he ended it by phone. For a year I was not able to get back into my own house again.
I was devastated.. never gone through something like this before. It took me a year to get over him. And another year to really get back to me. Lots of crying and lots of endless infinite patience from a dear friend..and family. I'm so thankful for their support..infinitely.

I'm stronger now. Till this day this man has never once turned his back. back then that hurt so much..but now I am thankful he did actually. best thing he could have given me..because the clear sight of his back made me realize that I was a lucky woman to experience him this way. The experience couldn't save me from heartache..but learned some valuable lessons along the way.

The baggage I do carry from this, is that i need some time to trust a new guy. He doesn't need to prove a thing, but I have lost a bit of my impulsiveness. I do not just jump in heart first..or pussy first ;-). I simply need to feel that he's for real.

I have learned alot about myself as well..my goodness the pitiful things one can do when their heart is shattered. Goodness! No man ever will put me back in that place again. The love for myself is higher now. And before i thought that it should be the other way around. Glad I have learned otherwise..

For all the ones here who have been devastatingly hurt by love..don't give up on love...just because of that one or 5 people that hurt you. Yeah when things go bad they can go really really bad..but I believe now that those moments are all about opportunities to rebalance. Something about your selflove has been out of balance.. And no matter who comes into your life, no matter how much you love or care for them..never lose sight of the love for oneself!

Life is just too short to pine away for people..who might be fucking someone else at the time you are hiding in the feelings you have left for them.

Stay strong..and lots of love for you..

Emjay
 
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D_Rosalind Mussell

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I had 2 major heartbreaks that were life-altering.

The first one was my friend Dan. We were very good friends and slowly becoming more. He was everything a girl could want in a guy, yet he was very real, not the "too good to be true" type. We were in different colleges and I didn't tell him how intense my feelings were because I felt wrong about asking him for a relationship while he lived away at school. I didn't want him to feel tied down and unable to enjoy himself, so I figured I'd keep letting things go at their pace until the time came say something. A week after we had been intimate he killed himself. I threw up, I drank, I cried...you name it. The news was chest-crushing and I honestly didn't think I would ever breathe again. It took me a lot of years to make peace with it, but it still hurts to think about.

The 2nd happened 3 years ago. I was looking for my first love online, as it had been a long time since we talked and I wanted to see how he was doing. We were friends as teenagers and our friendship blossomed into a first love. He was an amazing individual and I loved him intensely. Unfortunately, I hit a massive depth of depression and it was only getting worse. A mix of circumstances ended up splitting us up and the drama was bad for a while, but we ended up making amends and remaining friends. Every time we saw each other after that there was always a bit of spark, something that would never go away. Anyway, I found his sister online and she had a picture of him with the word "RIP". I'll never forget the feeling of horror ride through me and the instant panic attack that set in. I contacted his sister and found out that he died 6 months before in a motorcycle crash. Even now, I feel sick to my stomach just typing about it. It had been a long time since I saw him, but I still feel like I lost a best friend. All break-ups in my past, no matter how painful, pale in comparison to losing those I gave my heart to.
 

SnakeForeskin

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I have a few and they're all about one girl:

-I fell for this chick in college and we chatted on AIM all the time. She liked me as a friend but I wanted more. The first time she gutted me emotionally was when I took her out to eat and paid. Afterward we hung out with a buddy of mine whom she, apparently, had the hots for. I left, alone, to walk to my dorm. I found out later that she and my buddy had made out. I didn't sleep or eat much for a few days after that.

-The second time was later when I was doing my best to be her friend. We both liked Star Trek and I hadn't seen the latest sequel out on DVD at the time, so I recommended we hang out and watch it. What I should have found immediately suspicious is that she wanted to watch it at my buddy's place because, as she explained it, they had a big TV and a DVD player. After the movie, I had to try my best to keep from wretching as, while I made small talk with my buddy's roommate in preparation to leave, I could hear her soft sighs and whimpers of delight as she and my buddy made out and fooled around in the next room. Again, I couldn't sleep or eat for a few days.

-The previous incidents happened during the Spring term. Near the end of the school year, we discovered that we'd both be taking summer classes. By this time, even though I still had strong romantic feelings toward her, I hated her too. So I read a few things about dating (I was not very saavy with women at the time), got some good advice from good men who sleep with a lot of women, and totally changed my approach. I stopped kissing her ass, started acting like a total asshole, and basically did or said whatever I wanted around her. It worked. I could tell she was seeing me in a different light. The only problem was, when it came time to kiss her, I couldn't. All I could think about was the sounds she had made a few months prior with my friend, and I hated her for it. Well, she had no such hang ups about kissing other men. A week or two later she went home for a mini-reunion with some of her old high school friends. The host was a guy she'd been in love with for forever, but he was and still is of out of her league. When she was leaving, he walked her to her car and they ended up making out. I got to listen to her tell me what a great kiss it was, how awesome he was, and how heartbroken she was when she called him and he told her that he wasn't "looking for a relationship." Of course, a week later, he was in a relationship with another girl. She was devastated. As for me, the only thing I could think about was that if I were to claim her then she'd probably only see me as a back up plan.

...but the hits just kept coming.

-That fall I decided the best thing to do was to purge her from my system by ridding her completely from my life. I succeeded partially. I changed my major, joined some clubs, and started meeting all kinds of women. One of these women in particular took a liking to me. But, of course, when it became obvious that she wanted me to fill the role of boyfriend in her life, me, being the virtuous guy that I am (i.e., idiot), turned her down because I knew deep down I still had feelings for the other girl and I thought I owed it to whomever I was in a relationship with to give them all of me, and not just a distracted and jaded shell of cynicism. Once again, the girl I was in love with had no such hang ups. She joined clubs too and met new people too, and ended up getting involved with some guy. I watched in horror as her previously innocuous AIM away messages turned into thinly-veiled references to her now very active sex life. She would often use song lyrics to basically say to the world via AIM, "Right now, at this very moment, I am having great sex with my boyfriend." Her boyfriend even left her a message on her facebook wall that, while a little cryptic, I was pretty sure was a reference and commemoration of him taking her virginity that very day. More sleep loss. More difficulties with food. Their relationship lasted about two years and for most of it I was an angry, depressed, emotional wreck. Finding a girlfriend was the least of my concerns.

-The next cut to my soul came years later. I eventually got out of my rut, they broke up, and I had begun speaking to her again. We happened to get on the topic of sex and she let slip that the best sex she had ever had was when her ex-boyfriend tied her up, teased her for hours, and eventually had his way with her. She then went on to say that, although she usually came a lot when they fucked, this time, she must have come over ten times. "...so much for outdoing him," I thought. By this time, I had gotten over a lot and I had decided that if the opportunity arose, I'd do everything in my power to make her mine. But when she told me how awesome her ex was in bed, I knew she'd never be mine, at least not without the usual ego-boosting dishonesty that occurrs in most relationships when your girl's ex can fuck her better than you can.

-The last nail in the coffin came recently. Lately, she'd been gaining weight and not taking care of herself, which I found odd. Turns out, some asshole raped her about two years ago and wasn't convicted, even though she knew the guy. The court cited lack of evidence. Apparently, her busted face and broken arm wasn't evidence enough. I was shocked and angry and I wanted to track the guy down and put his head on a fucking stake. But then I got to thinking. This girl wasn't raped in a dark alley or a deserted park, she was raped, most likely, by a guy she knew and may have been interested in. This probably sounds awful, but I figured if she had let things progress that far with a douche bag rapist and yet she had not so much as kissed me, I must be very far down her totem pole of attraction. I have to assume that the prospect of being with me must be pretty nauseating for her if she'd put herself in a situation where sex is likely with a psychopath before she'd even consider it with me.

I still love her (I know, I know-cue the violin music), but I give up. I doubt I'll ever feel that strongly for someone again, so I give up. I give up on love, relationships, the prospect of growing old together with someone, all of it. Sex is good and I'll never give up on that, but I'm done loving. Anyway, I know this is a lot and I know none of you care, but I had to get that off my chest. The biggest problem is that people will probably start thinking I'm gay because I have no intention of actually being in relationships from now on.
 
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EmJay

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But, of course, when it became obvious that she wanted me to fill the role of boyfriend in her life, me, being the virtuous guy that I am (i.e., idiot), turned her down because I knew deep down I still had feelings for the other girl and I thought I owed it to whomever I was in a relationship with to give them all of me, and not just a distracted and jaded shell of cynicism.

How in goodness name could you ever think that you are an idiot to do that. Only in Douchebag Land of Assholes will people think you are an idiot to pass her up. You knew full well you couldnt give her what she needed so you backed off...The greatest gift you have given her and I applaud you for that!

- I must be very far down her totem pole of attraction. I have to assume that the prospect of being with me must be pretty nauseating for her if she'd put herself in a situation where sex is likely with a psychopath before she'd even consider it with me.

.

Now..this is some serious lack of knowledge in the female psyche and how one can be affected after having fallen victim to a violent crime like that. How in Goodness name..again..Is this about you???..This is not about you.. The girl made a mistake with some douchebag..her judgement failed her as can happen with ANY woman alive..and she got badly hurt. Its not her fault. Its the fault of the guy who couldnt respect her boundaries. The fact that she couldnt connect with you sexually has had nothing to do with you as a man!!!. She gave it up for another man..and got seriously violated. How in the hell does this in any way have anything to do with YOU!!!:mad:

Its almost like you say..she's been a whore for him and now she can't even kiss me..What kind of talk is that!!:eek:

She's just NOT ready to physically connect to a man..and the only person that can love her is the one with ALOT of patience..Maybe she can't even be in a relationship right now because there obviously are too many things going on that are still unresolved!! The woman needs your compassion and patience..not your resentment!

I hope she's receiving serious help to get over this..because help is what she obviously needs..
And if you still love her..maybe you can help her get that!

One of the worst things that can happen to a woman is getting raped..it can fuck you up for life if you don't get help...

Don't think like this...please don't..
 
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Kempwing

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17, I found out that the girl I had best closest thing to a relationship with was a lesbian. Then my brother told me that one of his first heartbreaks was also because the girl was a lesbian
 

gnawtee

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the girl i lost my virginity to wasnt aloud to be with me because her father walked into the house while she was givin me a bj
 

Lionheart17

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I was torn apart the last week of December last year. Me and my boyfriend at the time were going out for about 3 months. We did so much together, in such a short time. Me heart doesn't feel like it did during those times. When people say it's time to move on and forget and not dwell on the past, it's really hard. What makes it so much difficult is we live in a society that it really difficult to love and find love. I disregard what people say about age. Yes they may be young, but it's the experience and time that makes each moment worthwhile.

I knew that we had many differences, but at the same time there were many similarities. I was in the zone, and we saw each other a lot. He said he needed a break. But what makes this break up so bad is that he did it the wrong way. He broke up with me threw a text message!!!!

No matter how hard I tried, to have him spill the beans he refused to. Only later to find out on Facebook that he was seeing someone else. OUCH!!!!

It was great times, and moving forward is really difficult. If you guys have any suggestions, that would be great.

thanks for this thread!!
 

dude_007

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I was torn apart the last week of December last year. Me and my boyfriend at the time were going out for about 3 months. We did so much together, in such a short time. Me heart doesn't feel like it did during those times. When people say it's time to move on and forget and not dwell on the past, it's really hard. What makes it so much difficult is we live in a society that it really difficult to love and find love. I disregard what people say about age. Yes they may be young, but it's the experience and time that makes each moment worthwhile.

I knew that we had many differences, but at the same time there were many similarities. I was in the zone, and we saw each other a lot. He said he needed a break. But what makes this break up so bad is that he did it the wrong way. He broke up with me threw a text message!!!!

No matter how hard I tried, to have him spill the beans he refused to. Only later to find out on Facebook that he was seeing someone else. OUCH!!!!

It was great times, and moving forward is really difficult. If you guys have any suggestions, that would be great.

thanks for this thread!!

Be thankful for the good times and also thank this person for showing you more clearly what you do not want from a relationship so what you do want will manifest. Focus on what you want and not the absence of it and what you want will come rather than the absence of it.

Also, be thankful it was only 3 months and not 3 years you have to move on from. It happened recently, give yourself time.
 

MrToolhung

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just found out my girl friend of over 5yrs slept with her co worker. i noticed the cold shoulder vibe for a few weeks before and heard her talking to him one night on the phone and knew what was going on. mustered up the strength and told her if she wasn't happy and wanted to go pursue this other guy i would set her free. she turned me down on the offer saying we could work it out and she still loved me blah blah blah. then she comes home late one night and won't look me in the eyes i knew something had happened but she wouldn't fess up. next morning she is up early and i can hear her typing a long email then she heads to work. well i found the email summarizing the great sex and plans for the future as soon as the other guy broke up with his girlfriend (so they are both cheating here) and that was the end. i kicked her out of the house that morning and haven't said a word to her since. she had been texting and emailing me daily trying to get me to let her see my dog (she took the other dog) and hang out with a few half hearted sorrys thrown in. never felt so much hurt in my life. i was basically reduced to her back up plan while she fell in love with and fucked this other guy right in front of me. i'm just not the jelouse type didn't think it was big deal since the other guy had a hot girlfriend. the worst part is knowing that she is trying to come crawling back but i have to keep pushing her away as much as i still love her. there is no way i could ever trust her again (she did something similar minus the sex before so 2nd time offender) so there is no base to rebuild a relationship on. i'm back on the fuk em and leave em before the do it to you train again.

You are doing the right and I would not take her back that is for sure. On a side note dude: Impressive cock!
 

MrToolhung

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I have quite a few heartbreaking moments in my life and will continue to have them.

Relationship wise: When I was in High School I was dating a guy that was a bit older then me and I really thought I loved him. Actually he was great in bed! He broke things off with me by letter after we had a very long talk the night before as I could tell that something was really bothering him. I was devastated because I thought I would have been with him forever. But because of this I found the perfect guy for me and we have been together for 19 yrs now.

Non-relationship: When my partners Mother passed away a few years ago. It was my first true experience with someone close to me passing away. I cried for days after her death even though she had suffered a great deal due to her condition. I still remember very clearly when she passed away and the day of the funeral. I miss her dearly!

Professional: When I got fired from my a job when I was a teenager! I was working at McDonald's and got fired because I was late for my shift. It was an awful feeling and I was crushed. I begged for them to give me another chance but of course they declined. Although I have some very good memories of the place that I will keep with me forever.

I realize the OP was asking more for relationships with significant others but those 3 things have been the biggest heartbreaks to me in my life.
 

D_fbq01hbc

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The biggest heartbreak moment for concerned a bloke I met in October 2000. I have no self confidence whatsoever. He, on the other hand, was 6' tall, had a rippling 50 inch chest, huge muscles, the nicest smile and was dripping sex appeal from every pore. He also had a girlfriend who he was in the process of leaving so as to come out as gay. We had the best sex together, we danced together, we went out on dates together and had a really great time, But something wasn't quite right. He had the look in his eye of a man looking over my shoulder to the next person, and then the one after that and the one after that. After an intense eight months (which seemed like much much longer) we split up. I was left wondering what I had done wrong, long after he ceased to care. I met the loveliest man a year and a half later and have never looked back. We are still together. As for Mr Handsome, I think about him often, but the split broke me in way I hope never to repeat.
 

D_Vinny_Velcro

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I'm 20 atm, about 3 or four months ago i'd say i fell in love proper for the first time, i thought about her all the time, we'd known each other about literally a week before this happened to me, the first girl i ever thought i could see me spending the rest of my life with.

So i spent a while building up my courage to ask her, and finally told myself, Monday when i get back to Uni (we go to the same Uni) i would tell her what i felt, worst came to worst, she would say no and we stay friends, so when she told me on the Sunday that she had gotten a new boyfriend, i had never felt a pain like it, the amount of time it took me to build up the courage, which is a big deal for me cos i suck at talking to girls, i had finally gotten myself to do it, i was so desperate to do it i couldn't wait till Monday, so convinced i was gonna do it.

I was depressed for weeks, i'm just barley over it now, it dosnt annoy me like it used to, but i wouldn't wish what i felt those few months on anyone, it was horrific.


Their still going strong atm, but i don't trust him, but thats a story for anotehr day, needless to say, in many ways, i still miss her, even tho we never really talk anymore :(
 

B_subgirrl

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I'm 20 atm, about 3 or four months ago i'd say i fell in love proper for the first time, i thought about her all the time, we'd known each other about literally a week before this happened to me, the first girl i ever thought i could see me spending the rest of my life with.

So i spent a while building up my courage to ask her, and finally told myself, Monday when i get back to Uni (we go to the same Uni) i would tell her what i felt, worst came to worst, she would say no and we stay friends, so when she told me on the Sunday that she had gotten a new boyfriend, i had never felt a pain like it, the amount of time it took me to build up the courage, which is a big deal for me cos i suck at talking to girls, i had finally gotten myself to do it, i was so desperate to do it i couldn't wait till Monday, so convinced i was gonna do it.

I was depressed for weeks, i'm just barley over it now, it dosnt annoy me like it used to, but i wouldn't wish what i felt those few months on anyone, it was horrific.


Their still going strong atm, but i don't trust him, but thats a story for anotehr day, needless to say, in many ways, i still miss her, even tho we never really talk anymore :(

I feel for you. It must've really sucked to find out she had a boyfriend right at the point when you were getting your courage up.

But that really wasn't love (although it doesn't mean it didn't hurt). You don't experience proper love within a week of meeting someone. At that point it's all about lust and obsession. One day you'll have the opportunity to really fall in love with someone - you won't know what hit you.

I realise that sounds horribly patronising, but I believe it to be true.
 
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longozzy

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Well, this is a good thread for me to spill my guts and maybe feel a bit better about things. 2 major heartbreaks for me, with the 1st one having been rediscovered after 20 years almost. When I was 21 was seeing a great chick who we both thought we were going to be together, made plans to buy house etc. Not wanting to be the overbearing, jealous boyfriend, when she wanted to go out with a friend who was male I made nothing of it. Bad mistake, 3 weeks later on New Years Eve out with workmates who all knew what was going to happen, she dumped me in the middle of the dance floor about 1 hour before midnight. Happy New Year!
So the story goes you get up, dust yourself.........etc, so did that, spent another 2 years with an awesome chick who was in the same industry as me, hospitality, so was used to weird hours. Thought I would surprise her at work on her birthday with some flowers. Big hand written note on the back of her car telling her new boyfriend to come inside she was still working. After a bit of a confrontation with her and her boss I left, only 12 onths later to get her calling me at midnight, coming round at 2am in the morning drunk and saying "you can do whatever you want to me", and what did I do?.....put her in a cab and paid for the cab fare home for her.

Long winded reply I know, but it was good to go through things again in my head and remember that instead of ripping my girlfriend a new asshole when she said "do what you want to me", I chose the higher ground and sent her home.
Oh, just remembered the rediscovered 1st heartbreak I talked about, through facebook I have found out that a friends wife is friends with my ex "New Years Eve Dumper", she still looks hot, is now married............and I still miss her, but, cest la vie:disappointed:
 

bigbulgelicker45

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The worst for me was with the same guy on multiple occasions.

Our first "official" date was New Year's Eve 1993 and we acted as though we had just met (even though we knew each other a long time). In March, a week after his birthday, I saw him trying to pick up this other guy while I was ordered to get our coats and "he'd be right out." This was a Friday and he said he wasn't going out the next night. On Monday I had gotten a call to meet him at the bar after work. I knew I was getting the shaft so before he said anything I asked for my key, guzzled my beer and went home. A week later it was my 30th birthday and he came up to the bar and gave me a card "since he felt I deserved it."

A couple of months went by and we found ourselves together again with his promise that he'd never do anything like that again.

Thanksgiving weekend he was up to his old tricks again and picked up this guy right in front of me so I left the bar and left him there. He did have to come back to my house to pick up his car and they were making out in my driveway. I'd had enough but one of our friends talked me into going for a drink that Sunday and they ended up coming into the bar and sitting next to me. I left and they seemed to follow where I was. So, the next day he cried crocodile tears and said he'd never do it again.

In the summer, he had gone on vacation and when he came home called to say he wasn't feeling good and was going to stay in. I thought something was up and went to the bar. Everyone basically ignored me and I heard one of our friends talking about him. I finished my drink and went back home. After a couple of hours at home, I decided to go back up to the bar, saw his car and the security guard told me not to go in. I did and the only place to sit was in the corner and the two of them (along with our "friends" were having a great time). He saw me when he had gotten up to go to the bathroom and his first words were, "Oh, shit." I told him never to call me again. On the flipside, all of our "friends" all of a sudden knew I was there.

The two of them were together for about six years, he was dumped and came crawling back. He didn't beg my forgiveness but said he felt bad all those years and realized he made a mistake. We tried it again but he became verbally abusive and every night I had to hear about the ex and now everything was my fault.

One night after him not showing up I decided to end it by email. I figured there was someone else in the wings and I was right.

Just to be clear, we never had any form of sex during any of our times together and I was seeing someone on the side. I figured what was good for the goose was good for the gander.