What Will You Teach Your Daughter?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Principessa, Nov 3, 2008.

  1. Principessa

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    Ladies, this question is for those of you that have daughters or expect to one day. Do you plan to teach your daughter about masturbation? If so will this include that using toys is okay? Will you buy your teen daughter a dildo or vibrator?

    I ask because a male member, who had no sex eductation at home asked me this tonight. He plans to tell any sons he has that masturbation is normal. I see nothing wrong with that. :cool: Yet I can't see myself being comfortable enough to explain the whole g-spot stimulation versus clitoral stimulation to my child. I can do the sex talk but as for detailed info on masturbation, that I think I'd have to buy a book and leave it in her room.


    Do you plan to teach your daughter about masturbation? Other than saying it's okay, and totally normal, no.
    If so will this include that using toys is okay? I don't think so. I just won't mention it.
    Will you buy your teen daughter a dildo or vibrator? HELL NO!!!

    Yeah, I'm a prude, but y'all knew that all ready.:cool:
     
  2. ManlyBanisters

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    There is such thing as going too far.

    Had my mother bought me a dildo / vibe when I was a teen I would have been fucking mortified. Parents do not belong in their grown children's sex lives.

    Generic health and safety advice is a must - it is a parental responsibility. Trying to get involved in the specifics (the in and outs , if you will :rolleyes:) is taking it too far.

    As an adult I have discussed sex and the quality of my sex life, and their sex lives, with my parents - that's fine. I would not have been OK with the same conversation as a teen.
     
  3. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I think the only think that would be more traumatizing as a teenager then to have "the talk" would be to have my mother telling me how to masturbate and what she likes and/or uses. :eek5: So if i ever have a daughter i don't plan on putting them through that kind of trauma either
     
  4. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    To be honest, I'm going to leave it up to my son/daughter to ask me. They have friends and such to discuss all the dirty things ( what is a g-spot, how hard can I pound a girl before she moans, etc) I'm going to be there for clairification...as well as purchasing condoms the first time, just to make sure he/she understands safety.

    I'd rather not be a grandfather at 40.
     
  5. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

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    I am going to be open with her about sexuality. She has already discovered touching certain areas feels good and that's the time I tell her that it is private and to go in her room. I do not shame her, tell her it is wrong, just that it is inappropriate to do that anywhere but her room with the door closed.

    I wish she was older to be discovering herself in these ways, but she's not. I will not hand her a dildo when she is 15 and tell her "have fun honey" but I would consider buying her a gift certificate to an upscale store and answer any questions that she has.

    One thing I noticed, none of you ladies who responded mentioned talking to your parents about sex at all. I don't want it to be this huge deal for her. I sure as hell will be talking to her about birth control and I'm sure dildos will be going into that conversation!! What better way for birth control and disease prevention than by doing it yourself?

    My mother shamed my curiosity about sex, didn't answer any questions and told me I was a pervert for asking them. So I went to my dad, he turned about 20 shades of red and said nothing. So, then I got my information from my misinformed friends...I was very lucky I didn't end up pregnant or with some kind of disease.

    I am just a chatterbox this morning...Bottom line, I would buy her a dildo, I would tell her about the g-spot and the clit. But only if there is an indication from her that she wanted or needed this information.
     
  6. Tristessa

    Tristessa New Member

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    Sex is discussed very openly in my family, and I plan to have the same atmosphere with my own children if I have them.

    I won't go into details about my own habits, but will happily answer honestly any question they have, and if interest in toys is shown, I wouldn't have a problem with buying them. The friends I've had with similar mothers actually waited longer to have sex because they were happy to rely on their own "toybox" until they felt they were more emotionally mature and ready to handle it. I think openness and a mature approach to sex leads to better decision making about it later on. It was never mortifying or traumatic to hear my mother talk about sex, because she had always been approachable about the subject and there was never any shame or guilt about it. My two younger sisters feel the same way. I started volunteer sex-ed counseling youths (for the local Philadelphia Center) at 15 so that others could get honest information somewhere when they couldn't get it at home, so it would be strange for me to close up about it just because I'm a little older.
     
    #6 Tristessa, Nov 3, 2008
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2008
  7. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

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    Excellent Tristessa, I love your outlook!
     
  8. Hippie Hollow Girl

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    Good question.

    My daughter just turned 12 and she has started her period and I have always felt confident that if she has any questions she can ask me anything. There is an open door. I also have a young son (age 6) who can't keep his hands off his privates at times.... whether we are at home or at a nudist community resort..... so I am sure she has heard my broken record that we only do that in private. That there is nothing wrong with that part of their body or with masturbation......but there is a time and a place for that and it is behind their bedroom's closed doors.

    As far as purchasing my daughter a dildo or sex toys when she is older. It will depend on the circumstances. I would prefer that she buy her own. (Personal choice and such)

    And as for teaching her how to masturbate she is on her own with that one too. It is a road that all women must travel on their own in my opinion.
     
  9. sparky11point5

    sparky11point5 New Member

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    Good question. My daughter is only 9, so the questions so far have focused on the basics. She is very bright and mature for her age, and interested in animals, so she understands the mechanics of reproduction much better than I remember at her age. She is just starting to develop, no period yet. I think we will continue to be open, but leave some of the details, like masturbation for her privately to figure out.

    Actually, I want to teach her two things.

    -- How to tell nice boys from creeps, abusers, users, egotists, etc
    -- Being a really really expensive date :)

    Sparky
     
  10. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    Do you plan to teach your daughter about masturbation?

    Yes, at 13 or 14 she'll get the book Sex for One by Betty Dobson

    If so will this include that using toys is okay?

    I would say they are OK, but I would want her to explore her body first and not rely on something mechanical.

    Will you buy your teen daughter a dildo or vibrator?

    Yes, if she asked for one.
     
  11. DGirl

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    I will teach my boy or girl with Books. They have age group books. Also, when they are young there is always the birds and the bees talk.
    But, my momma NEVER told me a thing about sex. Except, SEX is BAD!!! That is all I know from her. But, I did read my sisters books thank god!!
    I was a normal child I guess. But, like I said, I will get age group books and let my child read them as they grow. If they want to ask me something then they can. I will not put them on the spot..."
     
  12. polesmoker

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    I saw my neice rubbing her doll's head against herself. She stopped after a few moments so I never said anything to her.
     
  13. ManlyBanisters

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    Have any of you stopped to think that it is not just about what the parent is comfortable with but also has to be an awful lot to do with what a teenager is comfortable with?

    I managed to find out about masturbation all by myself - I never felt ashamed of it or of anything sexual. But I didn't need telling about it and I would not have appreciated that at all. I seem to recall starting quite young and I certainly recall understanding that it was a private thing. My parents were very at easy with themselves and each other physically - both sexually and non-sexually. Body functions were never 'disgusting' or 'embarrassing' and my acquisition of the facts of life was so untraumatic that I don't even remember it. I guess it was a combination of nature programs and my parents answering the questions honestly as they occurred.

    I'd very much like to do the same as a parent because I feel having the kind of confidence that comes with physical and sexual self assurance has been a huge benefit to me. I still think though that getting too involved is a big mistake. I'm certain my parents knew roughly when I started masturbating but they knew if I had an issue about it that I would ask them. I also think that actually putting yourself far enough into your child's sex life as to buy them a masturbation aid (be that a diildo or a fleshlight, whatever) is going too damn far. Teenagers do not want to share that detail with their parents. The awakening of sexuality is one of the things that starts to move you away from the parent and towards a fully formed and independant self. Parents trying to be part of this need to learn to let go. Baby needs to fly solo sometimes.

    Besides - IMHO you're not a real women if you didn't break your hymen on a hairbrush handle :tongue: :rolleyes:
     
    #13 ManlyBanisters, Nov 3, 2008
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2008
  14. Nala

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    Do you plan to teach your daughter about masturbation?

    We talk about sexuality and sex openly, but teaching her how to masturbate would be a bit too much imho. She's 14 now and not into a bf or gf. I answer all her (and her brothers) questions, but up until now she never asked me about masturbation.

    If so will this include that using toys is okay?

    She knows about toys, is not interested in using them herself (at the moment).

    Will you buy your teen daughter a dildo or vibrator?

    No, unless she asked me for it. I don't want to push her, it's her life and body so it has to be her call.
     
  15. Gl3nn

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    My children can ask me if they have questions, but I won't make the first move I think.
     
  16. Nala

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    :eek: Oh no! Does this means TK has to remove me from the group now? :wink:

    I agree with you on the rest of your post though.
     
  17. ManlyBanisters

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    OUT, IMPOSTOR!! OUT! :wink:

    And thanks
     
  18. FunLovin.1

    FunLovin.1 New Member

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    Never thought about it as i dont plan to have children for another couple of years Lol. My mum embarassed the hell out of me when she gave me the talk. So i will leave it until im asked
     
  19. B_Jennuine73

    B_Jennuine73 New Member

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    I think being open with your child is not stopping them from flying solo. I am not going to show her my toys and say, "this one is great honey, but you might want to start smaller, momma likes 'em big".

    When she asks me, I will tell her. If I know she wants to become sexually active, hopefully I can catch her before and set her up with birth control, any and all info she might need.

    Oh and I did use a hairbrush too. MB that was so damn funny you posted that!!!!! I had a favorite one, the handle had ridges.
     
  20. Principessa

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    You know how to tell a nice boy from the creeps, abusers, users, egotists, etc? :confused: Please share this information with the rest of us! Trust me millions of women want and need to know. Perhaps you should blog about it.:cool:
     
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