What women want

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by grandunification, Dec 23, 2006.

  1. grandunification

    grandunification Well-Known Member

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    I'm not talking about size at all right now. Just be completely honest. When you are selecting men, is it more physical or other things? For example: nice guy, rich, good with kids, confident, etc.
     
  2. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Of course we all want someone who can support themselves financially but most importantly for me is they easy going. Im a relaxed girl and i dont want a stressful, on the move 24/7 kind of person. I like to sit on the couch and watch a move, sit on the grass and watch a sunset so someone who's always after the next party isnt for me.

    Also i have a very difficult sense of humor and offend easily so i need someone with a similar sense of humor tha knows my jokes. But they als need to know when its time to be serious

    And i like a shy, quite guy

    Not to much to ask for it is :confused:
     
  3. SassySpy

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    Having met 3 of the last 4 guys I dated online, I would definitely say it wasn't initially physical. I'm generally not too interested in the physical until they've stimulated my mind. I am far more attracted to a man with intelligence, than a man who is all beauty. That said, I have also found that after that initial attraction from our conversations has ignited, and we then exchange photos, I find him more attractive than I would have, had I seen the photo first, does that make sense? If I just wanted a quick fling for the sake of physical need, I would choose the best and most buff I could get. But it would be too shallow to hold my interest for long, if he couldn't conduct intelligent conversation, ie, talking about something other than sex, his penis size, how often he can cum in succession, etc. But I get incredibly hot discussing computer technical issues with someone who can answer my questions, someone who can see a point from both sides, someone who knows how to listen and when to speak up for his own beliefs. I could go on, but I think you get the idea. Basically, I find the more attracted I am to a man intellectually, the more he is able to attract me physically. Regardless of penis size, and as long as he doesnt actually frighten me with his appearance- its a go.:tongue:
    Wealth plays no factor, as long as I dont have to support him financially. Dont care necessarily if he's good with kids- can't have any myself but if he has some its further demonstration of his character if he is a good dad.
    A nice guy? absolutely! Compassion and empathy are musts- as is sense of humour and ability to laugh at one's self. That about covers it- and, I am still single.:dunno:
     
  4. OmahaBeef

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    Where have you ladies been all my life ;)

    ...OB
     
  5. viking1

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    Just what I was thinking. I never seem to meet women with that outlook.
     
  6. Gisella

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    For sure is the full package that makes a person a very interesting one and clicks nicely with my own vibes. Many times is just a false alarm and we become good friends.

    But never went through with men that do not excite me as having an adventurous rich mind, having big picture, are into world affairs that are confy with his expressions is full expressive because I dont like quite pensive males and much domesticated male that dont like to explore and plays golf...funny that is a turn of to me males that loves to play golf....:shrug: I love the dancers and artistic ones !:tongue:
     
  7. Mr. Snakey

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    You sound like a very good woman Kotch. Any man would be lucky to have you....:smile:
     
  8. ElegantGreenEyesNJ

    ElegantGreenEyesNJ New Member

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    That's so subjective :)

    For me:

    Non-Negotiables:

    financially prudent
    sense of humor
    non-smoker
    pet lover
    a man of his word
    honest
    common sense
    kindness
    good manners


    Negotiables:

    tall
    hairy chest
    large/muscular (James Gandolfini/Sam Elliott)
    well-hung (definitely a preference, but I have never - and will never - let penis size be a deal-breaker)
     
  9. Mr. Snakey

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    Good luck to you..........:tongue: Thats some list. WOW!!!
     
  10. Mr. Snakey

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    You are welcome my dear. :wink:
     
  11. Chrysalis

    Chrysalis New Member

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    FIRST IMPRESSIONS

    In order to make my response as useful as possible, I'm discovering I need to separate it into 2 posts. This one is about first impressions.

    Although I'm not "in the market," I still look at (and get to know) men, and I'm far more attracted to some than others. I'll start by saying that looks do matter.

    They aren't the be-all, end-all for me, but physical appearance is most often what opens the door. It's the thing that draws me in and makes me want to explore further. Of course, sometimes I meet a man who I wouldn't have given a second look, and his personality makes him just as attractive.

    In terms of looks, I'm not at all hooked on "classically handsome." Even if I have never spoken to a man, I can tell a lot just by watching the way he carries himself or behaves in public.

    If I see a very handsome man, but he has a look of extreme arrogance and self-importance, he immediately loses my interest. If I see a very handsome man behaving rudely to someone, he immediately loses my interest.

    If I see a "regular guy" type, even if he is just "average" or somewhat above average in the looks department, he still has my initial attention. I look to see if he has good posture -- if he slouches I think he might be too insecure for my tastes. I look to see if he seems angry or resentful. I find a frowny-faced man to be off-putting -- he is likely to be a complainer or the type of person who believes life has shat upon him. Such people aren't much fun to be around. On the other hand, if he seems to be a confident, kind, and generally positive person, he will attract my interest even if he isn't "conventionally" handsome.

    There's also a third type, which is a "man doing something interesting." If I happen to catch you doing (or saying) something sufficiently interesting, I will look at you no matter how attractive or unattractive you happen to be. Interesting things can include (but are not at all limited to): playing a musical instrument, singing, creating or having created art, browsing a section in a bookstore that reflects my specific interests, giving money to a stranger in need or helping an injured animal, disabled person, or child (you can win me over almost instantly if I see you doing any of those things...), delivering an interesting speech, demonstrating exceptional or unique taste in clothing, posting intelligent, witty things to a message board:wink: , taking the lead in a crisis, having the courage to be "real" and vulnerable in a group situation (I'm reminded of some men I've met on yoga and meditation retreats who were very "manly" but also very open about their thoughts and feelings. I'm also reminded of some LPSG forum members who have shared very personal thoughts and experiences when to do so would benefit others), being passionate about a cause, inventing something cool, writing good fiction, poetry, or prose...and the list goes on and on...

    So, as you see, I'm not completely superficial and by "first impressions" I mean a lot of things.

    My personal preferences also include:
    A man who outweighs me (if I'm heavier than you, I'm afraid I might hurt you...) :biggrin1:
    A man who is not excessively chubby or thin (and it's a bonus if you're physically fit)
    No "unibrow" or excessively bushy eyebrows (just a quirk of mine)

    And that's about it for first impressions. :smile:
     
  12. Chrysalis

    Chrysalis New Member

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    MY "IDEAL" MAN (IN TERMS OF PERSONALITY)

    Obviously, no human being is perfect and no human being is going to perfectly match the expectations of another. However, if I could "custom order" a man, his personality would have certain characteristics. These are my personal preferences, and I know other women may feel differently. I'll phrase them as "Do's" and "Don'ts" for simplicity's sake.

    If you want to be my ideal man, DO:
    • Make me laugh. Regular laughing fits are as important to me as regular orgasms. I am not kidding.
    • Compliment me. Flattery will get you Everywhere.
    • Be a man of your word.
    • Be aware of other people's needs and help them when you can.
    • Be willing to devote time and energy to sex.
    • Be confident enough to take what you need from me sexually.
    • Be generous enough to give me what I need sexually.
    • ENJOY giving head. Reluctant muff-divers need not apply.
    • Be open-minded about sex. If you agree with the laws of South Carolina, we are going to have some real problems.
    • Talk to me. Even if you're pissed as hell, I'd rather know what you're thinking than sit around wondering.
    • Accept me. I've got some issues that really aren't going to change. I'm a package deal. Enjoy the good stuff, and let the annoying stuff slide, as much as you can. DO NOT try to change me. However, if I am insensitive and hurt you, do tell me. I could just be clueless.
    • Clean up your own messes.
    • Keep exploring, learning new things, and expanding your mind and experiences.
    • Hug me a lot. I like it.
    • Have your own goals, ambitions, and priorities. Have a strong self-image. Be able to take care of yourself without me needing to "mother" you.

    If you want to be my ideal man, DON'T:
    • Pick on me (be hyper-critical).
    • Smother me with attention. I'm an introvert and re-charge when alone.
    • Take it personally if I don't want to talk to you because I'm reading, writing, or something else.
    • Make self-pity and/or complaining a lifestyle.
    • Be jealous or possessive.
    • Engage in road rage or other pointless pissing contests.
    • Call me names or threaten abandonment. If you are angry, tell me you're angry and what you're angry about. Feel free to say it at the top of your lungs. But do it with the understanding that we respect each other, first and foremost.
    • Try to control me. Instead, ask for what you want. I'll either give it to you, or I won't. End of story.
    • Shut me out. If you are having problems, tell me. Even if I can't help, I'm there to support you.
    • "Let yourself go" physically. Stay reasonably in shape (although, if you fuck me regularly, I guarantee you will be cardiovascularly fit...):wink:

    I'm sure I probably missed a few things on these lists, but I did my best. :biggrin1:
     
  13. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    I'm really different, I have major depression so attending to someones needs is a must for me to be able to live life smoothly. I need a high maintenance, the prettier the better. Must be able to support themselves, and the nympho in me. I don't want someone concided, or obsessed with themselves. Good sence of humor, likes bright colours, and enjoys walking in a nature setting. Loves animals, cause God knows I want many. Someone who understand that to a horse person, a wheel barrel is a better anniversary gift then a ring. And most of all someone who can look good, but isn't afraid to get his hands dirty.
     
  14. B_spiker067

    B_spiker067 New Member

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    Bring back that other avatar. It was intense and added to my viewing experience a sense of action. :)
     
  15. ElegantGreenEyesNJ

    ElegantGreenEyesNJ New Member

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    I remain the eternal optimist :tongue:
     
  16. Gillette

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    Ani Difranco - Asking Too Much Lyrics

    I want somebody who sees the pointlessness
    and still keeps their purpose in mind
    I want somebody who has a tortured soul
    some of the time
    I want somebody who will either put out for me
    or put me out of my misery
    or maybe just put it all to words
    and make me say, you know
    I never heard it put that way
    make me say, what did you just say?
    I want somebody who can hold my interest
    hold it and never let it fall
    someone who can flatten me with a kiss
    that hits like a fist
    or a sentence, that stops me like a brick wall
    because if you hear me talking
    listen to what I'm not saying
    if you hear me playing guitar
    listen to what I'm not playing
    and don't ask me to put words
    to all the spaces between notes
    in fact if you have to ask, forget it
    do and you'll regret it
    I'm tired of being the interesting one
    I'm tired of heving fun for two
    just lay yourself on the line
    and I might lay myself down by you
    but don't sit behind your eyes
    and wait for me to surprise you
    I want somebody who can make me
    scream until it's funny
    give me a run for my money
    I want someone who can
    twist me up in knots
    tell me, for the woman who has everything
    what have you got?
    I want someone who's not afraid of me
    or anyone else
    in other words I want someone
    who's not afraid of themself

    do you think I'm asking too much?
     
  17. Gillette

    Gold Member

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    Somebody

    I want somebody to share
    Share the rest of my life
    Share my innermost thoughts
    Know my intimate details
    Someone who'll stand by my side
    And give me support
    And in return
    She'll get my support
    She will listen to me
    When I want to speak
    About the world we live in
    And life in general
    Though my views may be wrong
    They may even be perverted
    She'll hear me out
    And won't easily be converted
    To my way of thinking
    In fact she'll often disagree
    But at the end of it all
    She will understand me

    I want somebody who cares
    For me passionately
    With every thought and
    With every breath
    Someone who'll help me see things
    In a different light
    All the things I detest
    I will almost like
    I don't want to be tied
    To anyone's strings
    I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
    Those things
    But when I'm asleep
    I want somebody
    Who will put their arms around me
    And kiss me tenderly
    Though things like this
    Make me sick
    In a case like this
    I'll get away with it

    © 1984 Martin Lee Gore - Depeche Mode
     
  18. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I know exactly what you mean. I spent quite a while on phone calls to a friend of a friend and we hit it off really well. When we did eventually meet a few months later he wasnt the most attractive person but i was already so into him it didnt matter, vice versa too. Sometimes physical attraction can be over run but mental connection and it makes for a great relationship
     
  19. viking1

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    Very interesting. I guess all these "what women want" surveys I have read really are pretty accurate. I am surprised...I have never believed the surveys.

    Maybe and older, ugly, uneducated, underedowed guy like me does still have a chance. I actually am very surprised at these comments.
     
  20. SassySpy

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    First of all, you are SO far away from ugly the "U" can't even get near you, so stop with that, and Im not trying to stroke your ego!
    Secondly, we all have our battle scars and cynicisms, but we need remember to not attach them to everyone or as better said: "Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open."
    Alexander Graham Bell

    the right woman doesn't care the size of your package, tho why you are so concerned about it is beyond me- Its the man that carries the package who is important. If what you are inside, Viking is half as good as you outside, you are indeed a hell of a man.

    And yes Lee, thats EXACTLY what I meant! I met a guy online and never knew what he looked like til we decided to meet in person. I wouldn't have looked at him twice in a crowd, but after knowing him from online and the phone, and he had attracted me so much with his depth of emotion and his intelligence, when I looked at his photo,and then he himself, all I saw was someone who I found incredibly sexy and attractive and wanted to boink immediately.:biggrin1:
    Sadly, that didnt happen as he did not exactly feel the same!! Oh the humiliation! But still, it doesnt change my preferences as far as what I really want in a guy. I DON'T want to be bowled over by his looks or his cock, not at first! I want the guy, not the picture postcard. I guess thats what I mean.:biggrin1:
     
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