FIRST IMPRESSIONS
In order to make my response as useful as possible, I'm discovering I need to separate it into 2 posts. This one is about first impressions.
Although I'm not "in the market," I still look at (and get to know) men, and I'm far more attracted to some than others. I'll start by saying that looks do matter.
They aren't the be-all, end-all for me, but physical appearance is most often what opens the door. It's the thing that draws me in and makes me want to explore further. Of course, sometimes I meet a man who I wouldn't have given a second look, and his personality makes him just as attractive.
In terms of looks, I'm not at all hooked on "classically handsome." Even if I have never spoken to a man, I can tell a lot just by watching the way he carries himself or behaves in public.
If I see a very handsome man, but he has a look of extreme arrogance and self-importance, he immediately loses my interest. If I see a very handsome man behaving rudely to someone, he immediately loses my interest.
If I see a "regular guy" type, even if he is just "average" or somewhat above average in the looks department, he still has my initial attention. I look to see if he has good posture -- if he slouches I think he might be too insecure for my tastes. I look to see if he seems angry or resentful. I find a frowny-faced man to be off-putting -- he is likely to be a complainer or the type of person who believes life has shat upon him. Such people aren't much fun to be around. On the other hand, if he seems to be a confident, kind, and generally positive person, he will attract my interest even if he isn't "conventionally" handsome.
There's also a third type, which is a "man doing something interesting." If I happen to catch you doing (or saying) something sufficiently interesting, I will look at you no matter how attractive or unattractive you happen to be. Interesting things can include (but are not at all limited to): playing a musical instrument, singing, creating or having created art, browsing a section in a bookstore that reflects my specific interests, giving money to a stranger in need or helping an injured animal, disabled person, or child (you can win me over almost instantly if I see you doing any of those things...), delivering an interesting speech, demonstrating exceptional or unique taste in clothing, posting intelligent, witty things to a message board:wink: , taking the lead in a crisis, having the courage to be "real" and vulnerable in a group situation (I'm reminded of some men I've met on yoga and meditation retreats who were very "manly" but also very open about their thoughts and feelings. I'm also reminded of some LPSG forum members who have shared very personal thoughts and experiences when to do so would benefit others), being passionate about a cause, inventing something cool, writing good fiction, poetry, or prose...and the list goes on and on...
So, as you see, I'm not completely superficial and by "first impressions" I mean a lot of things.
My personal preferences also include:
A man who outweighs me (if I'm heavier than you, I'm afraid I might hurt you...) :biggrin1:
A man who is not excessively chubby or thin (and it's a bonus if you're physically fit)
No "unibrow" or excessively bushy eyebrows (just a quirk of mine)
And that's about it for first impressions. :smile:
