What women want

[snoozan]

Talk is cheap. How many of the (at least average looking) wimminz have approached, flirted with, bagged and sealed an average or less than average looking man? It's well and dandy saying something here. In real life, tall, handsome, rich wins out over caring, balding, bespectacled, short, sensitive, etc. That's why marriages fail these days. Both man and woman have to be able to say, "I'll settle for you." and mean that for the long term. That means not looking, because looking leads to talking, talking leads to dancing, dancing leads to romancing, romancing leads to a double penetration. By two divorce attorneys.

Some people do chose men for their looks and money more than anything. Many don't, more than most people think. Most of the couples I know whose marriages are the most stable seem to have married for reasons completely unrelated to status, looks, etc. As a wedding photographer, I've seen some really cute girls marry some really homely guys (and vice versa). A lot of times when you get to know these couples who don't look like they belong together, it makes sense because they get along incredibly well.

Not all women are the same. I'm not saying you're wrong about a certain subset of women, but you can't generalize this to all women. If this seems to be the only kind of women you're meeting, you're probably not looking in the right places.

 

[viking1]

This has become very interesting.

Some men and women do pick money, looks, and power over all else. They are just that...shallow gold diggers. That IS why many of these types fail in their relationships. If I had to pick I would say men are actually worse for it.

I do not want "shallow" women or just "casual sex". I want a true two way caring relationship where we both accept each other for what we are.
I might also add that I have never had such a thing so far. Very sad too.

The "50-50" thing mentioned by someone would be ideal. It is seldom that way in the real world even though it sounds good. Some people give more and some take more. Loving tolerance (within reasonable limits) is the key to any relationship.

Money, looks, charm, power, and large "package" are all bargaining tools.
These things can help get you "noticed" but if that is ALL they are after someone else is welcome to them. These qualities will probably help you to meet women. Sometimes wish I had some of them so I could meet more and pick the right one, possibly but, that is not the real answer.

Remember money can buy sex, but not love. Companionship but, not true friends. Medical care but, not health. Plastic surgery but, not beauty.
We have to have money to live in this world. Not live in this world to have money.

I have complained about not having money, good looks, or a large package but it is silly. I just have a problem overcoming that.

I have been given more overall by nature that most people I know.
I am one of the luckiest son of guns on the face of the earth. It is only my stupidity that caused me to take 45 years to realize it. I have had the health and abitlity to do anything I want for 45 years and I wasted most of it. Shame on me!

 

[Chrysalis]

I have been given more overall by nature that most people I know. I am one of the luckiest son of guns on the face of the earth. It is only my stupidity that caused me to take 45 years to realize it. I have had the health and abitlity to do anything I want for 45 years and I wasted most of it. Shame on me!

Don't call it stupidity. At any given time in your life, you can't know what you don't know. We are all works in progress, so don't harass yourself. I used to think I underachieved in my career, and I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself, wishing I could go back in time and get better grades. But then, I realized I was just pissing away more of my life by focusing my energy on wanting something impossible. I decided that at the end of the next ten years, I wanted to be able to look back and say I had spent the time well. I didn't want to be filled with regret again.

So focus your energy on right now and look forward to the future. Don't be ashamed. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Most likely, you did the best you could with what you knew.

 

[ASO]

YouTube - Carlos Mencia What Women Want

 

[viking1]

YouTube - Carlos Mencia What Women Want

That was hilarious!

 

[Gisella]

YouTube - Carlos Mencia What Women Want

:lmao:

yeh, he may be right...and I do carry a banana everywhere..



Men....

:hitwithrock:

 

[miss_valentine]

:smile:...the guy im with must first of all be himself 100% otherwise its never gonna work. He cannot be afraid to show his weak sides. Its not the least attractive when a person puts on a show and a "mask" and tries to be someone their not. An open conversation is another very important thing in a relationship. A good longlasting relation is based on ur communication, if U cant communicate then ur on the wrong tracks.

...a good sence of humour, passionate, openminded, adventurous, down to earth and a big heart is also among the important thing he has to have to deserve me :smile:

...well theres loads of other stuff to tell but thats it for now...

 

[bluekarma]

Wow, your making it so easy for me to post. I could've written this. So thanks! And right on!!!

Having met 3 of the last 4 guys I dated online, I would definitely say it wasn't initially physical. I'm generally not too interested in the physical until they've stimulated my mind. I am far more attracted to a man with intelligence, than a man who is all beauty. That said, I have also found that after that initial attraction from our conversations has ignited, and we then exchange photos, I find him more attractive than I would have, had I seen the photo first, does that make sense? If I just wanted a quick fling for the sake of physical need, I would choose the best and most buff I could get. But it would be too shallow to hold my interest for long, if he couldn't conduct intelligent conversation, ie, talking about something other than sex, his penis size, how often he can cum in succession, etc. But I get incredibly hot discussing computer technical issues with someone who can answer my questions, someone who can see a point from both sides, someone who knows how to listen and when to speak up for his own beliefs. I could go on, but I think you get the idea. Basically, I find the more attracted I am to a man intellectually, the more he is able to attract me physically. Regardless of penis size, and as long as he doesnt actually frighten me with his appearance- its a go.:tongue:
Wealth plays no factor, as long as I dont have to support him financially. Dont care necessarily if he's good with kids- can't have any myself but if he has some its further demonstration of his character if he is a good dad.
A nice guy? absolutely! Compassion and empathy are musts- as is sense of humour and ability to laugh at one's self. That about covers it- and, I am still single.:dunno:

 

[yongdo]

Pretty well sumed up by this thread and youtube:

"Men want sex and success"

"Women want everything"

 

[feely]

:smile:...the guy im with must first of all be himself 100% otherwise its never gonna work.

trust me, 100% me being me is not attractive. I've found that my sense of humour is pretty much unique, and any girls that say they like a sense of humour hasn't discovered mine. Had they, they'd say "a sense of humour is a bonus...as long as its not like his."

By conventional standards i am not a good looking guy. I'm short, don't have prominent cheekbones, a symmetrical face, or a particularly appealing body. Any woman that says looks don't matter hasn't come to speak to me about it, and i only seem to be able to "pull" girls who have 6 inch thick beer goggles on.

As far as i know, i'm a nice guy. As far as i know, i do all the things a lot of girls say they like - i'm confident, can tailor my humour to suit a situation, i don't struggle to make conversation, i'm considerate, i don't mind buying a round. So ... why have i always struggled in the "finding a mate" department?

I've come to the conclusion that women, believe it or not, are even more shallow than men, but are less happy to admit it. I know a lot of guys that are genuinely nice guys. Really caring, really REALLY awesome friends - anyone would be lucky for a friend like them, and i appreciate them more than they know - but when it comes to girls, then never get a look in. Its always the good looking guys.

Whoever it was earlier that mentioned divorce rates men and women having to settle for each other, was dead right. Whenever a short, fat, bald bloke approaches an attractive woman, he gets scorned, yet he could be the nicest guy ever and could have been the greatest thing to happen to her. I'm not saying it doesn't happen the other way around, because it does, just, from my experience, not as often. I've found that guys tend to be more accomodating, and wimmenz tend to be...well.... bitches, for lack of a better word. Speaking from experience. Obviously.

 

[feely]

I really do object to this you know. In my case at the very least it couldn't be further from the truth, I don't judge men on looks because I don't want to be judged like that myself. As long as he's clean and doesn't stink the place out, thats all that really matters, yes I have preferences, everyone does, but not meeting them doesn't mean he won't in every other way, so why the hell should I let looks get in the way?

Obviously i can only speak from experience (like i said) and can't speak for all 3 something billion women in the world.

For you, it may be the furthest from the truth possible, however, i've never met you, or prior to this, spoken to you, so i can't agree or disagree with that.

As i stated a few times before, I was speaking from experience, and from observation in bars and pubs and clubs and whatnot, and i apologise for generalising like i did, but every single girl i know has at one time or another commented on a blokes attractiveness. Men do it too, i won't lie, and i'm as bad as any, but i think that if anyone says they don't care what someone looks like, they're flat out lying, after all what makes you want to speak to someone in the first place? what catches your eye about them?

How they look.

 

[viking1]

I really do object to this you know. In my case at the very least it couldn't be further from the truth, I don't judge men on looks because I don't want to be judged like that myself. As long as he's clean and doesn't stink the place out, thats all that really matters, yes I have preferences, everyone does, but not meeting them doesn't mean he won't in every other way, so why the hell should I let looks get in the way?

I believe you, and some of the other ladies on here who say they feel this way. I don't think the majority of women do feel this, however. That said I am sure there are still a lot that do, but I never seem to meet them.

I also see feely's side of it too. At least that's how it's worked for me.
That I can remeber I have never had woman walk up and come on to me.
If one were to do that now I would probably have a heart attack from the shock. Not trying to argue, but just my experience. Yet on the other hand maybe it's just me, and I am just not desirable.

 

[feely]

I believe you, and some of the other ladies on here who say they feel this way. I don't think the majority of women do feel this, however. That said I am sure there are still a lot that do, but I never seem to meet them.

I also see feely's side of it too. At least that's how it's worked for me.
That I can remeber I have never had woman walk up and come on to me.
If one were to do that now I would probably have a heart attack from the shock. Not trying to argue, but just my experience. Yet on the other hand maybe it's just me, and I am just not desirable.

see, i don't think that there is anybody who truly disregards physical appearance when choosing a mate, however i do think that everybody's perceptions of what is attractive is different, so whether that nulls my inital argument, or is even relevant, i don't know.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Very true. Especially if all the women here feel like those who have posted in this thread.

Again, I am very surprised at these comments from the ladies here...or any where else for that matter. I do NOT mean this just in relation to penis size preference either. I am surprized by all of. My idea of the "what women want in a man" thing was totally wrong...to my surprise.:biggrin1:

This makes me very curious: What did you think women wanted?

 

[feely]

That I agree with, no one totally disregards it, when approached by 2 guys, we'll obviously be more drawn to the one most fitting to our ideal guy looks wise, the difference is that not all of us will disregard the other in total favor of the first, we take time to know whats behind the looks.

ok, we'll agree on that.

i have to state one more observation though - too many women are attracted to what is considered "conventional beauty." More women would find your brad pitts, your justin timberlakes, your david beckhams attractive, than someone like willem dafoe or me for example, who are good looking chappies, in an ugly sort of way.

 

[viking1]

This makes me very curious: What did you think women wanted?

All of those things the ladies on here I was refering to said really did not matter much to them.

Really good looks, money, fancy cars, large endowment, great physique,
high education, big job, social status. That is what I thought women really wanted. Guys who fit that description do seem to get all the ladies.
I still think a lot of women DO want those things. Apparently, not all women,
though. I guess I just have not met the right kind of women yet.

 

[HazelGod]

Personally, the thought of Mr Pitt or Beckham makes me feel a little ill (more than a little in Beckhams case) Give me Trent Reznor or Alan Rickman anyday

I think you and my wife could be BFFs...she's carried a torch for both Reznor and Rickman since before we got together, and watches the Harry Potter movies purely for Rickman's (very Reznoresque) portrayal of Snape.

She's also got a thing for Willem Dafoe and David Bowie. I've wondered several times how she wound up marrying clean-cut, athletically-inclined me when she's always had a thing for gothic, androgynous types...:tongue:

But she also has a few understandable crushes on Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, and Tori Amos. :wink:

 

[honeydew]

I also agree with Sassy. A man must stimulate my mind before I can even consider a relationship. I never saw the guy I am dating for the first two months. We talked and e-mailed each other that whole time. We met by phone when I was signing up for a class and have had some of the deepest most meaningful discussions I have ever had. When we first met face to face ,no he is not the dreamboat most people think one would look for, but we had such a deep emotional relationship that I saw all the other great things about him.I often say our relationship is deeper then sex or lovemoking will ever be. Now I also say that has made the latter so much more between us. It is awesome.

 

[Chrysalis]

One thought did come to mind when I read this, and I may be completely off base, Feely, but are you only looking at women you find physically attractive?

I know a physically unattractive, single man who is a wonderful person. Many, many women would be fortunate to have him. As of yet, though, he is about to become a 40-year-old virgin. Why? Because he will not have any woman who is less than an "8" on the general physical attractiveness scale.. (he doesn't actually say this, but it's what I've observed). He's rejected plenty of perfectly good women, and has no one but himself to blame for his single status.

I'm not saying this is you. I'm just saying it's something to consider.

Obviously i can only speak from experience (like i said) and can't speak for all 3 something billion women in the world.

For you, it may be the furthest from the truth possible, however, i've never met you, or prior to this, spoken to you, so i can't agree or disagree with that.

As i stated a few times before, I was speaking from experience, and from observation in bars and pubs and clubs and whatnot, and i apologise for generalising like i did, but every single girl i know has at one time or another commented on a blokes attractiveness. Men do it too, i won't lie, and i'm as bad as any, but i think that if anyone says they don't care what someone looks like, they're flat out lying, after all what makes you want to speak to someone in the first place? what catches your eye about them?

How they look.

 

[B_spiker067]

One thought did come to mind when I read this, and I may be completely off base, Feely, but are you only looking at women you find physically attractive?

Yeah, women do the same thing. Either sex can be a 4,5,6 but think their mate should be an 8,9,10.