What Would It Take

Discussion in 'Fictitious Stories' started by Big Fucker, Jul 9, 2007.

  1. Big Fucker

    Big Fucker New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2007
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    What Would it take for someone to rune over your private Parts. I Know this sounds stupid but its just a thing. For Me it would take a lot of things. First I would have to have a penis at least a foot long and be able to lift 350 pounds. Then to do it A LOT. Have 15 women 5 are caucasian 5 are african American and 5 Chinese 3 of each of the races have to have huge HUGE breast and the other 2 dosent matter Each of them Between the ages of 19 and 45 if there above 40 they have to have no wrinkles and good size the weight of these women are under 300 pounds. Also a women that is really Fat over 300lbs and 3 girls of any one of those races that are 18 years old and 2 other girls between the first ages i said of any races out there. I will be able to do them as long as i want wherever i want (Shower,bed,Bath,car,ect) and how ever i want. AlsO while im doing it have two men at my disposal for a threesome and foursome whenever i call them they must listen to me and they penis lenght between 5 and 10 inches. Also I can have any sex item or other item or sex furniture at my disposal. And then after all that 10 million dollars. Now you may think how i though of all this stuff well i saw a show and it made me think of this.
     
  2. HazelGod

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2006
    Messages:
    7,531
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Other Side of the Pillow
    Though the words appear to be English, they're strung together in the most bafflingly nonsensical manner imaginable.
     
  3. ManlyBanisters

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2007
    Messages:
    12,807
    Likes Received:
    8
    Thank fuck you said that - I thought my eyes were broken!
     
  4. crescendo69

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2006
    Messages:
    8,142
    Likes Received:
    20
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Knoxville, TN
    Young guy here? Foreignor?
     
  5. agnslz

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2006
    Messages:
    4,778
    Likes Received:
    14
  6. ManlyBanisters

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2007
    Messages:
    12,807
    Likes Received:
    8
    someone experimenting with stream of consciousness writing?
     
  7. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    I wish these kids would stop posting when under the influence of drugs or alcohol. :mad:
     
  8. ManlyBanisters

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2007
    Messages:
    12,807
    Likes Received:
    8
    Sorry NJ, I won't do it again :redface:
     
  9. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female

    Hahaha I didn't mean you babe. :smile:
     
  10. SpoiledPrincess

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2006
    Messages:
    8,167
    Likes Received:
    29
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    england
    I bet he typed all that without drawing breath once :)
     
  11. Elmer Gantry

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    1,503
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    554
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Melbourne (VIC, AU)
    "It's life, Jim, but not as we know it."
     
  12. jjsuperbird

    jjsuperbird Member

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2004
    Messages:
    382
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    Ten replies in less than 24 hours. This guy has a writing talent lol

    JJ
     
  13. Yawgrimas

    Yawgrimas Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2005
    Messages:
    100
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Currently Ireland now!
    It makes VAGUE sense..but I have no idea I read it all in one breath to kinda strange :S.
     
  14. MrMXYZPTLK

    MrMXYZPTLK New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2005
    Messages:
    556
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Sorry, but this is the worst ficticious story I ever read
     
  15. Onslow

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Messages:
    2,496
    Likes Received:
    3
    And now for a basic translation~~

    What would it take for you to allow somebody to run over your private parts? I know that this sounds stupid; however, it's just a thing. For me, it would take several things. First, I would need to have a penis at least 12 inches in length and be able to lift 350 pounds*. Then to do it a lot*. Although my penis will be 12 inches in length, it can be thinner than a pencil or as fat as a baseball bat (made of white ash) since as I well know, it's all about the length. I may or may bot have testicles but I will most definitely have a foreskin unless I do not.

    I would have 15 women: 5 would be Caucasian, 5 would be African-American and 5 would be Chinese. A minimum of at least 3 of each of these groups would be required to have a huge HUGE breast**, the other 2 from each group can be flat chested for all I care. In this group of 9 women, each must be aged between 19 and 45, none younger and none older. If they're above the age of 40, and they have no wrinkles and good size, the weight of these women should be under 300 pounds; this applies equally to the woman who is 3'9" and the woman who is 7'8", they must weigh less than 300 pounds and be unwrinkled.

    Now, moving on to the remaining 2 women from each group: One must be rotund and weigh as much over 300 pounds as possible--800 pounds would be idea, any age apparently so a 100 year old would be fine, and it matters not which of the 3 groups she is selected from.. 3 of the women out of this total of 6 must be aged 18, I do not care which group they are selected from as long as they are age 18. Of the remaining 2, they must also be between ages 19 and 45 and of any of the 3 aforementioned groups.


    I will be able to have sex with them for as long as I so desire, whenever and wherever I choose (in the shower, in the bath, the car, the Piggly-Wiggly, at The Giant Eagle or at Kroegers, even at Price Chopper--but under no circumstance will I do it at Albertson's or I may just do it on a sinking boat or in an airliner or on the beach or under the YumYum tree or while surfing with estrogen deprived nuns, etc. etc.) I will sex them up all the time in whatever way I can or want to.

    Additionally, I will have two men available at all times for the required homosexual tendencies I have and the 3-somes and 4-somes which will undoubtedly be taking place hourly. Whenever I bark, er, I mean demand, they must listen to me and their penis length must be from 5 to 10 inches in length, that may or may not be their flacid penis length. The men must have foreskins, unless they don't and their testicles should be the size of ostrich eggs on steroids.

    Furthermore, I will also have any sex item or other sex furniture*** at my disposal. That reminds me, I can also have sex while she is leaning against the garbage disposal or shucking oysters.


    After all of this I will require 10 million dollars--American dollars, in cash and in unmarked bills. None of these should be over the $100 denomination or under the $5 denomination.

    Now, it may seem as if I am a genius and thought of all this stuff for myself. Truth be known, I was watching Jerry Springer and he had a family of hyenas who were discussing the effect of gamma rays on man-in-the-moon marigolds and that made me think of this.


    *Unsure if he meant the 350 pound weight could be lifted by his arm strength or with his penis.
    **Why they only need one breast I do not know.
    ***I do not know what sex furniture is.


    Admittedly, even a translation leaves me scratching my head as to what the idea is for having his genitals run over, and does not tell us what they will be run over with. A tractor? A lawn mower? An SUV? A pickup truck? Stilletto heels being worn by the 800 pound woman? He really left out far too many important details.
     
  16. D_Neeson Niceone

    D_Neeson Niceone New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2006
    Messages:
    351
    Likes Received:
    3
    I wonder if he's the guy who writes all those weird spam messages that don't actually sell anything, they just ramble on about nonsense.
     
  17. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    They read posts like this to prisoners at Abu Ghraib as a last resort to force them to talk.
     
  18. Matthew

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    8,374
    Likes Received:
    162
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    Don't leave us hanging -- what happens next???
     
  19. fortiesfun

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 29, 2006
    Messages:
    4,692
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Give the guy a break. It is hard to type one handed while you are having trouble getting enough air and the computer is jumping all around...:rolleyes:
     
Draft saved Draft deleted