you just got diagnosed with cancer? I just got my concrete diagnosis today that I've got cancer of the small intestine. I'm not sure what my reaction is yet, and I'm a little depressed honestly. I don't think it's hit me yet. I've tried just to not think about it. So, what would you guys do?
Congratulations! You've taken the first step and gotten a diagnosis. Now it is time to get a second and yes, even a third diagnosis. This is your life-or death-which is being dealt with and you can't have too much in the way of diagnosis. Act quickly though as some cancers are fast movers. Mine was slower and less agressive which is probably the only reason I am still here today.
My reaction was never depressed-I went directly to anger and planning. Planning for what might be a very short future. Planning final arrangements. Planning what my next meal would be. PLANNING! It is now vital for you to plan out everything. Not just what shirt to wear or where to dine; you need to also decide who to dine with. Who no longer fits into your circle. Are there self-centered individuals who will make your cancer about them? Get rid of them-at least for a while. True friends will understand your need for solitude and selection of just a chosen few. You need positive folks around at this time, people who will be able to keep your mind from the increasing pain and discomfort which will inevitably come. Surgery, chemo, and even no treatment all have levels of pain and discomfort-but it is all short term and with treatment you eventually start feeling much much better.
And decide. Decide on whether you want conventional treatment, experimental treatment, non-conventional (roots and herbs or prayer) treatment-or no treatment. Surgery or no surgery. Long term-do you want hospice care? Hospice care at home or in a facility?
I opted for the full regimen-I underwent chemo and radiation before surgery-I'd waited a long while and the tumor ended up in a rather difficult spot, they could have cut it out then; but a life time bag was not something I desired, so...
Make sure your desires are known. Have your living will and health care proxy on file with all of the medical staff and copies with those involved in making what may be the final decisions (if you slip under).
As indicated, I didn't go to depressed. I went to anger and then a basic gratitude for having been given 46+ years of life and all the wonderful things which went with it. The people, the places, the sights, the tastes, the pleasures and yes, even the sad moments which made the good even more enjoyable.
A positive attitude and approach are important. In support groups-I joined 3-there were some who just sat in morose silence. One-we will name her Jean-was a sad little bitch. She was 71, had grown children and grandchildren, owned property, had a very supportive family, vacationed worldwide, yet she just sat and moaned. She was in remission for more than 4 years. Everything going for her and she just sat there depressed. As far as I know she still lives today.
Then there was the man who was in his third bout with cancer-he viewed it as what life had handed him and that there was a lesson to be learned and a lesson to be taught. He died a few months ago, a happy man with a positive attitude. I followed his example and to the surprise of the doctors, I made it through-I was not initially expected to. Positive=possibility. Gratitude=possibility. Possibility=everything.
Get an oncologist you are comfortable with. They do not necessarily have to be the best in the country; however, it will also help if they've been at this a few years and have a good track record. I had one man at the start who was in over his head, he was young and too emotional, I fired him and went to the next one which was a much better fit. A good oncologist
could be the ticket to your living.
Look, cancer is a grim situation if you allow it to be-we know what the end result
can be. Then take a step back and remember the end result for everyone is death. You have a distinct advantage-you know what may happen which gives you options. A person who has a fire consume them or a person who falls down a flight of stairs and breaks their neck, doesn't have the luxury of time. Stay positive and allow people to help you along-you don't need to do it alone.
Two years already?
