What would you do?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by BBB2.5, Jan 20, 2006.

  1. BBB2.5

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    5,317
    Albums:
    6
    Likes Received:
    1,858
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta (GA, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    I have asked this question on another forum and received many different views on this question.

    Ok..what would you do if you were about to engage in a sexual act with a person who, right at that moment, told you they were HIV+? Would you go through with what you both started?
    :tongue:
     
  2. RideRocket

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Messages:
    3,247
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Lost in the Wild
    That's a tough question because you would be so caught up in the moment and so horny about getting off. I would assume that protection is already being used, but even that's not necessarily 100%!

    I would hope that I would have the presence of mind to say that I didn't want to risk getting infected, and that maybe something else could be done (mutual masturbation, etc.).

    Good question!
    _____________
    What would Jesus do?
     
  3. DC_DEEP

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2005
    Messages:
    9,029
    Likes Received:
    12
    I'm always very careful and "play safe" and there are some activities I just simply don't do with strangers, so, I suppose I would say "cool, thanks for being honest and respecting me. Now let's get back to the business at hand..."
     
  4. BBB2.5

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    5,317
    Albums:
    6
    Likes Received:
    1,858
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta (GA, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    I am very pleased so far...you are very wise men.
    :tongue:
     
  5. Dr Rock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2005
    Messages:
    3,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    assuming protection was being used or at least readily available, of course. if i've already decided i wanna have sex with someone, i'm not gonna change my mind based on something like that.
     
  6. rob_just_rob

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2005
    Messages:
    6,037
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Nowhere near you
    I'd slow things down, and hopefully be tactful doing that. I would be very leery of any kind of sexual activity with someone who was HIV+
     
  7. SomeGuyOverThere

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2004
    Messages:
    1,496
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    If there was protection on offer, yes, if not, I'd (politely) break it off.
     
  8. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2005
    Messages:
    8,602
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Germany
    Personally, I'd hope that would be your response regardless of HIV status.
     
  9. Lex

    Lex
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2004
    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
    I met a guy and his BF once and we chatted over beers. The conversation turned sexual (just chat really) and he let me know right away that he was HIV+ (and his BF was neg). He said that he always wanted to be honest and forthright. He also took great pride in ther fact that his BF remained HIV- and that he was going to "keep him that way." These two men totally turned me on. Everything about them was sexually energizing--look, talk, smell, brains. We had some beers and went our separate ways at the end of the night. There was no invitation to play, but had there been, I remained open to safer sex with them.

    [SIZE=-1]I ran into this quote and thought of what they had been able to do: "I think that status apartheid guys suck also, and not that it matters, but I am HIV negative and don't see mixed-status as a barrier to loving a great guy. Elitism sucks in any form."

    As DC deep said (in another thread) treating men (and women) with HIV with respect and dignity is the first step to getting them to be open and honest about it. Disclosure is much easier when you don't fear judgment.
    [/SIZE]
     
  10. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    I'd tie all the sheets together and escape through the bedroom window.
     
  11. MsLulu

    MsLulu New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2005
    Messages:
    177
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Caught up in the moment or not, it's really not a laughing matter. One of my closest friends was diagnosed HIV positive a few months ago and he's gone through utter hell trying to:

    1. get rid of the pneumonia
    2. find a medication that doesn't make him utterly sick
    3. find a medication that doesn't cost 35$ a day

    It's a life-long thing he has to deal with now and take some form of drug for the rest of his life. I see what it's done to him and you better believe, I would rethink my actions at once (or at the very least demand a condom.)

    The good thing is all the aggressive research has brought a few options for those with HIV, but it's really a scary thing. I never knew just how scary until it hit someone close to home. No amount of "being excited or hot and bothered IN THE MOMENT" would make me lose that much sense. This is my life.
     
  12. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2005
    Messages:
    5,361
    Likes Received:
    6
    I can't.
    There's something inside me that prevents me from engaging in sexual activities with anyone I know is positive. I've never allowed myself to become emotionally attached either (as in potential boyfriend). I've tried to be open minded. I'm hell-bent on survival I guess.
     
  13. dcwrestlefan

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2005
    Messages:
    1,262
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    if anyone in here has had a large (define this how you like) number of sexual partners, its guaranteed youve been with a poz person already. take steps to be safer. you should do that anyway. (lest i get labeled a hypocrite, i've slipped a few times in this area)

    if the guy was hot and he was cool enough to disclose his status honestly, i would go through with it. you can sit in a corner and JO for the rest of your life and be guaranteed of remaining negative. but i view the 0.1% chance of something bad happening as worth it. if you are a top banging a positive bottom, i think the risk is quite minimal if you are wearing your raincoat. and there are lots of other "safer" things to do if you think this is too risky.
     
  14. Matthew

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    8,374
    Likes Received:
    160
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    I agree with that. My last two bfs have both been positive. Their HIV status did not change the love I had for both of them. I always have safe sex regardless of my partner's status and whether they've told me or not. That way I don't have to worry. Not everyone knows their status, and not everyone is honest. Practicing safe sex every time makes it a moot point.
     
  15. carter2006

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2005
    Messages:
    4,278
    Albums:
    9
    Likes Received:
    2,169
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London (GB)
    I would always guarantee 100% (or as close as possible) safety for both myself and my partner in a sexual act. I am HIV- but would not let someone's HIV status affect sex, if sex is what I wanted. I would always use the same level of protection with any new partner, so their HIV status would not be an issue. That said, I would expect them to tell me if they were + before we had sex, rather than "Oh by the way..." after it was over. This isn't because for any other reason than mutual respect. I'm not the sort of guy to have sex with strangers no questions asked, I will always ensure I have some level of trust for the person before engaging in sex.
     
  16. Lex

    Lex
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2004
    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
    Agreed. If you have had sex with more than 4 or 5 men, the likelihood that one of them have been positive is very high. Assuming that you only have had (or will only have) sex with negative people is dangerous. IMO, it negates that facts that:
    1. Someone is truthful when they say they are negative. Many men assume they are negative just because they have not gotten sick.
    2. Someone has been brave enough to get tested (recently and regularly). Many men are afraid to get tested--the anxiety of waiting for those results can be excrutiating.
    3. That safer sex is only needed when status is in doubt. Even if you met a guy and you both are negative, you shouldl wait quite a while, get tested several times, and make sure that you are monogamous (or only play safely when if you are open) before you consider unprotected sex with him.
     
  17. BBB2.5

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    5,317
    Albums:
    6
    Likes Received:
    1,858
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta (GA, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Well stated....I think this is an excellent reply. :laola:
     
  18. Webster

    Webster New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2006
    Messages:
    705
    Likes Received:
    0
    __________________________________________________________
    Of course!
    It absolutely amazes me when people exclude HIV positive people from their lives. If I had done that, I would have missed out on some pretty wonderful people and some pretty terrific sex!
     
  19. Webster

    Webster New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2006
    Messages:
    705
    Likes Received:
    0
    _________________________________________________________
    Don't be ignorant. (That is not an insult.)
    Educate yourself on what constitutes "safe sex" because you can never really know for certain the true HIV status of your partners. And, excluding people from your life merely because they are HIV positive, is just depriving yourself of some great partners...........:smile:
     
  20. Webster

    Webster New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2006
    Messages:
    705
    Likes Received:
    0
    ________________________________________________________
    I am HIV negative. So what? My partner is HIV positive. So what?

    Your statements about being open minded and barring HIV positive people from your life are in direct conflict.

    Nearly all of us are "hell-bent on survival". It's human nature.

    If you bother to learn how to not contract HIV, and then put those cautions into regular practice, you can live your life with no fears in this regard.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted