What would your penis say?

Joseph

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There was once a movie about a guy who talked with his dick. Didn't watch it exactly, but nevermind that. I thought I'd make a funny thread like this.

If your cock could have it's own will and talk with you...
What would he/she/it say? (did I type she?)

Well I'll start with a few things my would say...
"<sigh> What the heck are you doing? You masturbate me all the time! I want a pussy dammit! Or an Ass... ANYTHIN! Come on, at least jerk off with a guy or something! You visit penis websites as if you had any real use of me! Come on! I want some real action!"

So yeah, mine would complain he finds it boring....
How about yours?
 

roosevelt

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"What makes you think you're so special anyways? do you grow to more than twice your size for a fight? do you pool resources from everywhere else in the system? do you even know everything that I do?"

My response:
"Shut up, or you won't be getting anything for a while"
 

Mr. Snakey

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My penis would be a stand up comic and tell dick jokes and make the headlines and perform to a standing room only crowd:wink: He would also stand up for the common man and makes sure nobody gets the shaft:smile:
 

MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

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Probably on dates, he'd say something like, "Aw, no, not again. You're stuffing a very form fitting rubber bag over me, and stickin' me in someplace very hot & sweaty & making me do pushups 'til I puke!"

And for masturbation, he'd more than likely say, "Yeah, that's right; stroke me all you want. it's gonna be real hard getting my attention."
 

Love-it

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:smile: In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out! In! Out!
 

weecallum

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i'm sorry to have to break this to you, but i've found somewhere better to be, so i guess it's all over between us.

i'm going to go there now, and i expect to be busy for a few hours at least. please don't try to call me. you know it's better this way.