What's a girl to do?

[FuzzyKen]

The very best illustration I can give is one from my own life. Many years ago I had my personal "requirements" for people I dated. I was very attracted to bodybuilders and I mean really big ones. I was very successful at getting what I wanted and I had many dating relationships with men of this description or type.

I also for a time had a rather extreme size fetish in that when plowing a bottom I loved the feeling of a really huge hard cock between my belly and his. The bigger and the harder the better, AND, if I could, by thrusting, and rubbing belly to dick in the right way "get him off" from the anal intercourse, it was nirvana.

I had many men that would have been classified as centerfold material. There was something missing that never seemed to be complete. What was missing as I later learned, was that I was in love with physical characteristics and not in love with the person.

Over a decade ago, in a total fluke, I met a 6'5" tall hairy cowboy type from Eastern New Mexico. He had only a few physical characteristics that would have normally fit into my "type". There were no 20" biceps, no monster pecs, and the butt was a little softer and smaller than I was used to.

The one difference was that by the time I got to him I did not rate sex as the first consideration in my mind. I wanted a partner, lover, and soul mate for life. I can look back at an assortment of men, some of whom had in fact modeled for Rip Colt, and I look at my life partner of well over a decade now. I married the one I was in love with as a human being, not the one that I was in love with in bedroom sports.

Bedroom sports are part of a relationship, but, when one weighs life against bedroom sports, it is life that we have to survive and endure. Bedroom sports are a learned behavior. Based on feminine construction it may take him some time to learn you as a sex partner, but if he is even at the low end of the normal end of the size range he is capable of brining you to a full orgasm. The other thing about your smaller friend is that as he ages he is less likely to suffer from E.D. barring injury or accident.

Make the relationship with the one you love as a person, and the sex will take care of itself.

Good Luck

 

[mwealex]

Thanks to all who have given me genuine advice and reassurance. It is much appreciated, because I do prefer to focus on the other aspects this guy brings to the relationship:wink:

My, how your story has changed from the first post. If you have to come to this board for reassurance on wether you should be in a relationship with this person or not there are many other things you might want to be concerned about.

 

[ulube08]

I just love it how 99% of men are judgmental a-holes, but the moment a woman even hints that a man might have a physical shortcoming, she's suddenly a rotten hearted witch. Hmmm - somehow I recall a thread where all of you men profess that you could never possibly fuck a fat chick, let alone date or marry one. Forgive me - it's obviously only a man's place to worry about physical attributes and whether or not he can get off occasionally.

Thanks to all who have given me genuine advice and reassurance. It is much appreciated, because I do prefer to focus on the other aspects this guy brings to the relationship:wink:

lol, its a life goal of mine to fuck a fat chick. i wanna fuck a cripple iraqi war vet n conjoined twins too. experiences experiences.

im hearing a lot of bullshit here. yea if you love the guy then size shouldnt matter but if ur not there yet but u see this going somewhere then you do have to take into account how unsatisfying sex would affect the relationship. chances are, badly.

sex is a big part of a relationship, the sex may not necessarily be unsatisfying for u just because hes not that big, but if it is then thats a big problem. you have to evaluate whether or not ur relationship can stand it, n i dare anyone to say that a relationship afflicted with lack of sexual satisfaction doesnt suffer somehow.

 

[jbigncnc]

Geesh, you guys are so harsh! Seriously, she's asking, I think a legitimate question. It's not like she's a bad person. She loves the guy and is struggling because she knows this one physical characteristic might be a deal breaker SEXUALLY! Look if she enjoys 7"-8" dicks, then why should you all insist she also enjoy ones half that size!

You all seem to be suggesting physical characteristics don't matter. I mean what if she fell in love with him, then when she finally got a chance to check out what was down there found out he had a pussy instead of a dick!? Would you insist that she learn how to enjoy it anyway? Would you insist that she give him a chance to see if he could pleasure her! a 4" dick is hardly bigger than a thumb! Do you really insist that women should force themselves to enjoy sex with a thumb just because they happen to fall in love with the guy!!??

I think she has a really tough problem and she's come on here seeking advice. But all she's gotten are insults. darwinlily I don't think you're a bad person at all for asking this. In fact, I think it shows what a good person you are. You're trying to figure out if you can live with this particular problem long-term without getting so sexually frustrated that you'd end up cheating on him some day.

I don't know why everyone has so condemned you for that!

 

[ulube08]

^seconded

theres a few hypocrites in here i think

oh yea and i dont think the sex will "take care of itself".
my suggestion is if its a problem try to solve it, if its unsolvable go ur separate ways cuz the longer a doomed relationship lasts the worse the end of it is

 

[D_Tam_Ponds]

The other thing about your smaller friend is that as he ages he is less likely to suffer from E.D. barring injury or accident.

Make the relationship with the one you love as a person, and the sex will take care of itself.

That is a good point! Definitely something to look forward to - because I would like to still be his many many years from today ;*)

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I think a poster above is going too far with the thumb analogy - she says he has nice girth (what exactly she means by that isn't clear but if she thinks it is nice then that's obviously a good thing) - so she's not saying he's micro. 4 to 5 is not micro - it's only just below average.

I do agree with that same poster though that the OP has had some unnecessarily aggressive and negative responses to her perfectly legitimate question.

I'm just wondering if I could live with this "shortcoming" forever if things do, in fact, progress in that direction. I mean, I could definitely love him, I think I do already. I just don't want to live with sexual frustration for either of us - for the long term. I don't want to make him feel inferior in any way, and I don't want to lust after other men. But will I eventually? Maybe once I do sleep with him, it will be fine. But I can't help but worry, because I do love a man in the 7-8" range.

As others have said, don't write off his ability to please you as much as, if not more than, previous partners just yet. You may well, so far, have had a life of cul-de-sac orgasms but that doesn't mean you won't discover that his cock hits buttons you didn't know you had. It sounds like he could be the perfect length for g-spot stimulation, for a start.

The thing is, if you love him, if you love each other, you will find a way to make it work. There are lots of things you can do - open, honest, positive communication will be the key. All lovers should take the time to work out their compatibilities and work around any seeming incompatibilities.

And, for what it is worth, I don't think you are judging him on his cock size alone. It's odd you know, so many guys here repeat ad nauseum that women all prefer big cocks and that once a woman has had big she can't ever enjoy average again - not really. And yet the minute a woman expresses a similar thought, not even as a fact but as a concern, she gets jumped by a gaggle of guys griping, grumbling and gassing off. (Sorry, got carried away with the alliteration.) Not necessarily the same guys, but still - it seems the men here can say what they want but the women better shut up and accept than men know what we're thinking better than we do ourselves.

 

[JG5]

Lily - In my opinion, I think everything will be fine. Get a larger dildo if don't already have one. Focus on his feelings instead of yours. You're worrying about nothing. Stop having an addict's mindset to cock (the gotta have it bigger and better).

My ex gf's ex-hubby was 8" and was her first - I'm around 7" - and I didn't let any of that mind crap stop me - I blew her mind. (BTW we broke up for non-sex reasons).

Going forward, I suggest you focus on pleasing each other in bed - it works - and leave it be.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Lily - In my opinion, I think everything will be fine. Get a larger dildo if don't already have one. Focus on his feelings instead of yours. You're worrying about nothing. Stop having an addict's mindset to cock (the gotta have it bigger and better).

See what I mean?

Even when the response is initially supportive it contains instructions to you to think of his sexual needs as more important than yours and accuses you of being a cock addict.

Ignore this tit.

You and your man can both have fun sharing everything both of you have.

 

[D_Gunther Snotpole]

.... I'm worried. I don't mean to sound ridiculous here, because he is really wonderful other ways. But I'm just wondering if I could live with this "shortcoming" forever if things do, in fact, progress in that direction. I mean, I could definitely love him, I think I do already. I just don't want to live with sexual frustration for either of us - for the long term. I don't want to make him feel inferior in any way, and I don't want to lust after other men. But will I eventually? Maybe once I do sleep with him, it will be fine. But I can't help but worry, because I do love a man in the 7-8" range.

Geesh, you guys are so harsh! Seriously, she's asking, I think a legitimate question. It's not like she's a bad person. She loves the guy and is struggling because she knows this one physical characteristic might be a deal breaker SEXUALLY! Look if she enjoys 7"-8" dicks, then why should you all insist she also enjoy ones half that size!

.... the OP has had some unnecessarily aggressive and negative responses to her perfectly legitimate question.

I agree with the two posters above.
Darwinlily's question, imo, is perfectly reasonable.
She doesn't sound contemptuous of her potential boy friend.
She just mentions that he doesn't seem to have what's needed for her long-term sexual satisfaction.
Given that she's already in love with him, she's in a real quandary.
I think she's being very honest.

 

[JG5]

Oh Cmon Manly! She's admitted this already that she IS a cock addict - I tend to believe that this is a LEARNED and not a PHYSICAL behavior. Case in point:

Another ex - which I am totally cool with today as a disclaimer - left me for a man with a 11" x 7" cock. I was hurt and such and after about six months, I got over it. We had dated four years and we were engaged.

Many years later, she came back to me and said she was sorry, that she had made a mistake, and wished me well. She focuses on the man now and not his cock.

And NO Manly she SHOULD think about his feelings too - a relationship is 50/50 - not 100/0 - the advice I am giving I have lived personally and I am trying to help her.

 

[Empathizer]

I feel like if she gives him a test drive, she'll know what she wants to know. If he's "perfect for her except for" ANYTHING, then he's clearly not so perfect for her, is he? But if the so-called flaw turns out not to matter, functionally speaking, then she's good to go!

I don't see the problem with calling anybody out on self-pity. It's something good friends do for one another so that they stay sane and don't lose perspective. It's neither cruel nor unchivalrous.

 

[JG5]

If she truly loves him, then she needs to stop the mental 'craving' a larger cock or dump his ass flat and tell him why. Us guys are tougher than women think.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I've re-read the thread and I can't find any mention from Lily of being a 'cock addict' or of 'craving' large cocks. She says she likes them. Why do you, JG5, read that as a craving or an addiction?

Also - while we're addressing each other - please tell me where I said she shouldn't consider his feelings. I said:

[your response] contains instructions to [Lily] to think of his sexual needs as more important than [hers]
[...]
You and your man can both have fun sharing everything both of you have.

Where so you see me telling her she shouldn't care about his needs?

 

[helgaleena]

The pig is back! I am gratified :tongue:

 

[ManlyBanisters]

The pig is back! I am gratified :tongue:

Thanks :smile:

Oh and here's that shot of us together, you remember... that time at the .. thing :wink:

.

 

[helgaleena]

Who was that attractive green guy in the corner again?

 

[blutrane]

Empathizer is right here. At least give the guy a shot. I believe that love is something you grow towards, not fall into. You've got a lot of time before you're in the dilemma of choosing between your love for him and a bigger, better dick (unless I'm misreading something here).

 

[big_tits4big_dicks]

damn, some real assholes on this thread. Give him a try and you will know if you like it or not. No matter what anyone says, Love aint enough. I don't mean dick is everything (or even a large fraction) but to think that love is all ya need to make it work is kinda silly in a gum drop fairy land of make believe sort of way...

 

[B_New End]

My, how your story has changed from the first post. If you have to come to this board for reassurance on wether you should be in a relationship with this person or not there are many other things you might want to be concerned about.

I know, huh.

I wonder if it's even a chick.

If she truly loves him, then she needs to stop the mental 'craving' a larger cock or dump his ass flat and tell him why. Us guys are tougher than women think.

Naw, if she is going to drop him, she needs to tell him it's because he is such a chicken. that way, he'll focus on his lack of courage, which he has control of, instead of his penis size, which he has no control over.