What a thought provoking subject this is....with my reactions and emotions about it running the gamut from A to Z and back again.
_Jonsey, I thank you for taking me back, and helping me understand why I am the person and the way that I am today. A very tactile and carressing person, instead of the unattached and unemotional type before.
Unfortunately, I began, at any early age, a "sexually" active life in a small, private neighborhood "sex" club with both female and males members...although mainly hetero sex. None of it included
any emotional attachments and was just plain physical sex, for
sex sake. What we used to say in our teens..."Slam Bam, thank you Mam! (or Sir...for..whatever the case might have been) Now that I look back on it, it was fun and always left me physically satisfied, but somehow, emotionally very "empty." Even if the sex had been Awesome, when it was over, I had that strange feeling of, as you said, _Jonsey..."why did I just do that?"
I never liked the intimacy of kissing...and I guess it was because there was no emotion involved. I wanted to just get to it, get it off, and forget the kissing bit....it was just too intimate.
It wasn't until I fell in love for the first time in my late teens, that I felt satisfied and happy afterwards, and didn't have that desire to run and "get lost quick" when sex was finished. And I think it was because I had discovered the emotional part which had always been missing. For the first time I was enjoying carressing and finding out the joys of knowing the person other than just their private parts, and yes, kissing which I never
liked to do before. I then becam limited to only those I liked and wanted to become intimate with...not just sex for sex only. So today, for me, kissing, caressing, looking into another's eyes and feeling that special connection can be WAY, WAY more emotional than sex. But I have to say, BOTH go together now when there is a special connection.
I thank the mothers of my children for changing me. They both taught me that sex can be satisfying when love, and emotions other than an orgasm, are added.
Now, I don't have to have gential sex to be satisfied...even though it usually follows.
I am, however, monogamous today...
I now love the working up to sex more than the sex itself, but I never though I would admit to it and ever say that out loud.....:yup: