What's sex like after childbirth?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Ramsey, May 27, 2008.

  1. Ramsey

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    Not sure if many of you ladies have had kids, but are things down there permanently different for all women, or do some tighten up a bit afterwards? How can a guy make it more pleasurable for a woman who has had kids? I'm 6x6, so not huge but I wasn't sure just how much things stretch out down there.
    What can a guy do to make sure she gets off just as much as before? Other than tell her that nothing can change my desire for her or pleasure from her and overall reassuring her.
     
  2. B_Mademoiselle Rouge

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    I've asked this question to many guys and by 6 weeks after birth many of them couldnt tell a difference than before. If you wait the recommended time this should be long enough to allow for the muscles and tissues to shrink back down. There is also another factor- whether she needed an episiotomy and how tight she was sewn back up.

    I was allowed to have sex 2 weeks after my c-section and i will tell you that after being in labor for 33 hours with a babies head stuck at the upper part of my vagina for that long...he nor i could tell a difference.

    Kegel exercises are a must post child birth. Also Dolfette here at lpsg gave birth to an 11 lb baby without tearing. She is definitely the guru on this topic!
     
  3. D_one lap down

    D_one lap down New Member

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    A better question is what the girls should do to shrink back down. It is there issue if they are stretched out, and Like the gorgeous girl above me said, Kegels help. But there are devices that can be worn inside the girls vagina during the kegels making them even more effective. There is weighted balls, and these devices where the pressure and tension can be changed. Look into it.
     
  4. ManlyBanisters

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    There's no hard and fast with this one, Ramsey. It varies per woman. The vagina can stretch a lot and it does return most of the way to the elasticity of before, naturally, in most women. Some women get there full previous 'range' of tightness and sensation back as before. There may be some genetics involved in the tightness and stretch (I haven't ever looked into it) but I would say that is largely dependant on a combination of the extent of the damage during delivery and pre and postpartum exercises. Those exercises (kegels) are very important. She has probably already been informed what they are, how to do them and is probably already doing them. She may have discussed it with you already, if she hasn't ask her about it - but diplomatically. For example 'I read about these kegel exercises, the midwife (or Ob, or Lamaze teacher, etc.) probably mentioned them...' and let her tell you what she knows about it, not 'hey do your fucking kegels...' :wink:

    You don't say how far postpartum she is or whether she was torn/cut during delivery. If it is recent, obviously, you both have to let that heal and really let her decide when that is. If you're further along from that point then it really is a question of talking to her. Ask her how sex feels, is it different for her, ask her what she likes and if she'd like you to do anything different. If it feels different to you, specifically if it feels less tight than before try different positions - as long as they are phyiscally comfortable for both of you. I would avoid outright saying 'you feel looser', but if she asks don't lie. Telling her that "nothing can change [your] desire for her or pleasure from her" is a really good start. :smile:

    Communication is the main key to getting sex back as good as or better than ever, in fact I'd say it's the key to good sex in general.
     
  5. Ramsey

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    Interesting stuff here, thanks all for your input. I wanted to see what the experiences here were like because I have talked with several guys who's wives just kinda "flared out" down there. One of my friends has had 4 kids, 2 9-pounders and 2 10-pounders, vaginal birth, and I think she told me once that when she rides her bike, part of the front of the seat goes in and it kind of hurts. I was curious and wanted to ask more but it seemed like she just kind of spouted it out and was a bit embarrassed. I get that around women, sometimes they forget they are talking to a guy, I guess I'm easy to talk to. I was curious if she meant just pushing into her lips, or pushing into her... Anyone else ever have the problem she did?
     
  6. ManlyBanisters

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    Her bike seat goes up her cunt? Bollox! Does she cycle naked?
     
  7. Ramsey

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    Hm, not sure if she does, but she is a fuller figured woman so maybe it just pushes through the pants. Like I said, I may have heard her wrong, or my wonderful imagination just took things way out of proportion. So to speak...
     
  8. christina

    christina New Member

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    well like some others have said it depends on the person. i have had a child and i have not had any complaints. but the whole bike thing hmmm kinda wierd lol. apparently im not that slopped out but i did my exercises and what not and maybe im just one of the lucky ones. and besides iv heard and i dont know for sure but iv heard that some guys like the looser ones cause its easier to get in and its still tight. but i dont know thats just hearsay.
     
  9. Rubenesque

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    I've only had one child and she was only a little over 6lb, but everything is fine and it didn't take long for things to get back in shape.
     
  10. new_n_curious

    new_n_curious New Member

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    I found I was tighter than before due to the pelvic floor excersises.
     
  11. Ramsey

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    Fascinating, I'll have to make sure she keeps up on her excercises, but no pressure of course :) encouragement about her and how much I love her is most important.
     
  12. Rubenesque

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    She definitely wants to do her exercise her PF muscles, not just because of sex. If left in their post pregnancy state it can lead to stress incontinence.. and none of us ladies want to be hassled with that!
     
  13. Ramsey

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    Stress incontinence! Sounds kinda messy.
     
  14. Rubenesque

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    Pretty unpleasant I'm sure.. my mother has to stop and cross her legs if she's out and about and feels a sneeze coming on! lol
     
  15. Ramsey

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    I'm guessing that's good to avoid if she doesn't want her pants lubricated!
     
  16. Hippie Hollow Girl

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    What did your woman friend tell you about riding her bike? I don't think that had anything to do with her childbirth situation.

    My husband is into road bike riding and I have been with him on bike rides.....and yes a woman's pubic bone can get sore from her bike seat. Most bicycle pants are worn without underwear.....there isn't as much padding as I would like.....and the bicycle seat can be hard. But I guarantee even a woman who hasn't had children will be complaining about sore pubic bones from riding bicycles if they stay on the bike long enough.....and if they don't purchase expensive bike seats and extra padded bike shorts.
     
  17. Ramsey

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    Perhaps what my friend was saying was that the seat was pushing into her pubic area in general and it hurt. Just the way it came out (or where my perverted brain wanted to take it) was that it was going up somewhere's else but with your explanation shedding light on it, she probably meant it just pushing into the pubic bone and hurt. I know I get similar pains, and my whole nether region feels numb when I ride for more than 30 minutes. And I've heard that guys who ride bikes a lot can have erection issues. Oh sorry, "erectile dysfunction", gotta use the modern lingo. Recumbent bikes don't do that though.
     
  18. MidwestGal

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    I have only had one child but I am told I feel really tight compared to most women who have had kids. Thing is I pushed my child out for over 6 hours so I learned a lot of muscle control. I've never been told I felt "loose" by anyone.
     
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