What's the best quick joke you know?

Calboner

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So, this Irishman walks out of a bar...
:laughing:

The following joke appeared in The National Lampoon in the late 1970s, in their "letters" pages, where it was attributed (facetiously) to Stevie Wonder:

Have you seen Ray Charles's new piano? Neither has he.​
 

BUSTERHYMAN

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Q. Why did "god" give women nipples?
A. To make suckers out of men...

Q. What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A. A cherry float.

Q. What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A. Beat it -- we're closed.

Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.

Q. What's the difference between a micro-wave and a homosexual?
A. A micro-wave doesn't brown your meat
 

tgirlsrgreat

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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. All the rest are documented case histories.
what's brown and tan and looks good on a lawyer?

a doberman!

why do lawyers wear neck ties?

to keep the foreskin from rolling up over their heads!
 

jjsjr

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Helen Keller walked into a bar.
..............................................

Yes, I do bake from scratch; I scratch the label right off the box!
................................................

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market?
(Hello, ladies!)
...................................................

What's black and blue and screams during sex?
(the boy in my trunk)
 
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latindaddy

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‎(Dispatcher) "What is your emergency?
(Casey) "Please help me, I have a bunch of people trying to kill me."
(Dispatcher) "Okay ma'am, calm down. What is your name?" ...
(Casey) "Casey Anthony"
(Dispatcher) "Okay Miss Anthony try to stay calm, an officer will be there in 31 days