What's the best quick joke you know?

[chicagosam]

Did you hear the one about the lady who fell out a sixth story window, landed on a fire hydrant, and it took the mortician a week to wipe the smile off her face?

 

[Endued]

What should you do if you see a space man? Park it in it, maaaan!

 

[D_Kitten_Kaboodle]

"there once was a celebate priest............"


(dear god forgive me... 20 hail marys on my part)

 

[185248]

What is a pussy?
Man circles vagina.
What is a cunt?
Everything outside the circle.

 

[willow78]

This one only works if read aloud.....

Where does a pirate keep his buccaneers?
On his buccanhead.

 

[TexasC0wb0y]

why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

cuz it was dead

 

[Calboner]

why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

cuz it was dead

Made me laugh.

 

[Endued]

This one only works if read aloud.....

Where does a pirate keep his buccaneers?
On his buccanhead.

Similarly, where did Napoleon keep his armies?

Up his sleevies!

 

[willow78]

What goes green, red, green, red, green, red, green, red, green?

A frog in a blender.

 

[willow78]

why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

cuz it was dead

That reminded me of this:

Why didn't the cat drink it's milk?

Because it's head was nailed to the floor. .....:biggrin1:

(Dear cat-lovers, I love cats too, so please don't flame me - it's just a joke)

 

[B_stu.kay823]

My wife and I have been married 15 years and we never talk. Mother always said it was rude to interrupt.

 

[alx]

How does every racist joke start?......... With a look over your shoulder.

 

[TexasC0wb0y]

Why do squirrels swim upside down?

To keep their nuts dry

 

[185248]

Whats black and white, black and white, black and white?

A nun rolling down the hill.

 

[B_stu.kay823]

My wife met me last night at the door in some lingerie. Unfortunately she was just coming home.

 

[Calboner]

Man goes to see a psychiatrist. Psychiatrist says, "You're crazy!" Man says, "I want a second opinion." Psychiatrist says, "Okay, you're ugly!"

 

[qwerty1234567]

Whats the difference between the circus and a whore house?

The circus offers cunning stunts.

 

[Endued]

How do you quickly kill a circus?

Go for the juggler!

 

[Pompeynate]

What's the difference between Iron Man & Iron Woman?

One is a superhero, the other is an instruction...

 

[babl]

I'm not a weatherman but I predict you’ll be getting several inches tonight