What's the biggest turn offs / deal breakers in a woman?

[rtg]

So, all of my relationships keep failing...I don't know whether it's me or just the guys I'm choosing (I suspect a combination of both, but I'd like it to be moreso the latter haha). But anyway...to prevent me maybe making some of the same mistakes again...what are the biggest turn-off's or deal breakers in a woman to you?

 

[554279]

In no specific order:

Mental, moral or spiritual aspect - Trust (don't bullshit me), hypocrisy or having double standards (this is OK for me, but not you), not giving me space when I need it, taking the word of others over me (again trust, but in me), greed, selfishness, ass kissing or abusiveness (to anyone not just me).

Physically aspect - hygiene and not taking care of yourself

Anyone or all of the above depending on the degree/severity of the issue.

 

[deleted136887]

Women being too "clingy".
Difficult too describe in other terms for me.
I love intimacy but need my space too.
Hope it makes sense.

 

[rtg]

Thanks guys. I reckon my biggest issue is the not giving enough space thing...and trust (at times, but this is probs cos my last couple of relationships were long distance).

 

[Capt_obivous]

Its a difficult question to answer, as every guy is going to have different things that turn them off. At this stage for me, girls that spend too much of their time/money on partying and other "short term gain" type activities is a big turn off. But them maybe thats just me getting old

Clingyness isn't a huge turn off for me, but there is definitely a limit. Effort is nice, but trying too hard or pushing when pushing isn't required is a turn-off. It sets a bit of a artificial high level of interaction that the guy then either feels suffocated by, or feels the need to match, which can be stressful.

 

[pcghabsy]

As you will realize, every man has his different turn offs, as do women. So it is a simple matter of compatibility in the end.

In my case, it's just three Hs - hygiene, honesty, humility. Yes, these are broad and cover a lot of issues. Other than that I have pet peeves but I can live with those as no one is perfect.

 

[JR7]

This probably isn't the answer you're looking for, rtg, but in my single days a shaved vagina was the biggest turn off I'd experienced. Sure I fucked and ate out shaved females, but it never turned into a relationship. For me to go back for more, I need there to be a bush!

 

[tbrguy]

Not living by the adage "do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

I can tolerate stupidity, just, but people who belittle others or treat those who are less well off or down on their luck like shit really make me angry; not that I'd show it, but after an incident that demonstrated this sort of attitude I'd be planning an exit strategy. No point bringing the subject up, it's not something that can change.


BTW This applies to anyone, but I have felt it more intensely when it was someone I cared for.

 

[ashtonpete]

Bigotry of any kind. I don't care if you're racist, homophobic or just hate goths...I won't tolerate the company of bigots, no matter how much sex is on offer.

And please, please have a sense of humour. If a lady can't laugh, then I just can't co-exist with her in any sense.

 

[blazblue]

In no specific order:

Mental, moral or spiritual aspect - Trust (don't bullshit me), hypocrisy or having double standards (this is OK for me, but not you), not giving me space when I need it, taking the word of others over me (again trust, but in me), greed, selfishness, ass kissing or abusiveness (to anyone not just me).

Physically aspect - hygiene and not taking care of yourself

Anyone or all of the above depending on the degree/severity of the issue.

Ditto.

Thanks guys. I reckon my biggest issue is the not giving enough space thing...and trust (at times, but this is probs cos my last couple of relationships were long distance).

Instead of dating guys far away, you might want to consider finding someone much more closer to you.

 

[tbrguy]

Bigotry of any kind. I don't care if you're racist, homophobic or just hate goths...I won't tolerate the company of bigots, no matter how much sex is on offer.

And please, please have a sense of humour. If a lady can't laugh, then I just can't co-exist with her in any sense.

Agreed.

And as for a sense of humour; well I didn't mention that because the idea of getting into a relationship with a women who didn't have a sense of humour didn't cross my mind - it just couldn't happen.

 

[ashtonpete]

And as for a sense of humour; well I didn't mention that because the idea of getting into a relationship with a women who didn't have a sense of humour didn't cross my mind - it just couldn't happen.

Well put. Being able to laugh is a must.

 

[aluckyasian]

when a woman nags alot. especially when i dont see her much and the time we spend togeter involves bullshit arguements.

i understand women need to express themselves but the time spent together should be positive, not argueing.

i was with a woman who would always attack my flaws whenever she got frustrated with anything. it felt like i was her scapegoat to let off steam. i walked away from that once it hit a point

 

[aluckyasian]

Thanks guys. I reckon my biggest issue is the not giving enough space thing...and trust (at times, but this is probs cos my last couple of relationships were long distance).

i think everyone at some point had this problem. trust issues can ruin any relationship.... but than again maybe the guy is giving you reasons not to trust him.

i think its very unhealthy for a person to have negative thoughts (hes cheating, lying, talking to other women ect.) about their significant other. in order to have the confidence hes not cheating on you... hes gotta show you. and if hes not showing you, maybe thats why you dont trust him. its a 2 way street.

 

[Dell1962]

A person who does not accept me as I am and wants to 'change' me. Someone who is either very naggy or clingy. I do not need someone who likes everything I do, but they need to accept me for who I am and what I like to do, just as I will do the same for them.

As for sex, don't show me you like it and want it and then when we get together, you all of a sudden do not like it and don't want it.

 

[massageguy39]

So, all of my relationships keep failing...I don't know whether it's me or just the guys I'm choosing (I suspect a combination of both, but I'd like it to be moreso the latter haha). But anyway...to prevent me maybe making some of the same mistakes again...what are the biggest turn-off's or deal breakers in a woman to you?

Turn Offs:
1. Poor Hygiene
2. Vagueness
3. Fakeness/Role Playing/Bullshitting (please note this covers a lot and can get quite elaborate with some people - like con artist)
4. Irrational more often than rational
5. Anger issues/bad selfish attitude towards others

Some of of the ones already mentioned...double standards...double minded...everyone should be able to expect fairness.

That about covers it.

 

[Endued]

I could be with no one who either had disgusting views or who ate noisily. And don't ask me to pick which is worse out of those two.

 

[KTF40]

Besides most of the obvious stuff, girls who are heavy snorers.

 

[rtg]

Thanks guys has given me a lot to think about. I think most of the issues I have are due to my relationships being long distance...and the guys generally taking more than they give! But I have things I can work on too (neediness is probs the biggest one).

 

[D_Skippy_Skidmarx]

Smoking and ugly feet.