What's the Deal Breaker in a Committed Relationship

[D_Roland_D_Hay]

Physical or mental abuse and/or game playing. I would hope that I could weed this out before the relationship got too heavy, but sometimes people change over the years. I wouldn't stand for anyone to belittle me in any way. I guess I like myself too much for that lol...

 

[Gecko4lif]

after years of a committed realationship ... couldn't you just tell her to 'take a bath'??? :smile:

The problem is when you do and they dont. Or they get an attitude about it and become confrontational. Just shut up and put some fucking deodorant on... geez.

 

[Remington]

Disloyalty, dishonesty, abuse, or a lack of interest.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

lying and manipulation over time...

 

[LPSGeezer]

Lack of communication and neglect would do it for me.

 

[D_Sam Rockswell]

I would have to say dishonesty and cheating as well.

 

[galaxus]

I'm just curious as to what/how people think. I've been reading and seems there are some strong opinions about what would cause a guy (or girl) to end a relationship of several years. For this exercise let's just say married, common-law or some other form of committed relationship...not 'just dating', but real commitment.

What would be the 'deal-breaker' in a relationship that would cause the reader to end the commimtted relationship.

There is no right or wrong answers here... only opinions.

Cheating isn't a deal breaker. Sex is just sex. We both can get over it.

I don't care about money either.

But I think these are the two most important things.

1) Honesty, genuine honesty. You got to have it. If you don't have that, simple arguments can turn into big ass fights. If you don't have that you can't even look at them in the eye. Not being able to trust you partner is a cancer to the relationship.

2) Intimacy. If I don't feel that love, that feeling that makes me feel like this person wants to help me become better and help me feel better.....its also that feeling that you have the ability make your partner and feel good. If I don't feel that, then its over. Once you lost the intimacy, that's the period on the relationship.

 

[big_sights]

cheating,and lies mabey..it would depend on the situation.
but a lack of communication i can't stand at all.
i read books,i don't read minds..and i hate the "silent treatment" shit.
if i'm in a commited relationship with a woman no subject or problem is off-topic to me,if it upsets her it upsets me,i'm down to work whatever it is out.no matter how long it takes.
yeah, i know, i'm a man and i said communication...

The silent treatment can be worst than mistreatment sometimes.

Cheating isn't a deal breaker. Sex is just sex. We both can get over it.

I don't care about money either.

But I think these are the two most important things.

1) Honesty, genuine honesty. You got to have it. If you don't have that, simple arguments can turn into big ass fights. If you don't have that you can't even look at them in the eye. Not being able to trust you partner is a cancer to the relationship.

2) Intimacy. If I don't feel that love, that feeling that makes me feel like this person wants to help me become better and help me feel better.....its also that feeling that you have the ability make your partner and feel good. If I don't feel that, then its over. Once you lost the intimacy, that's the period on the relationship.

I agree, but I do see both perspectives about cheating. Few things besides being exclusively sexual separates your partner from everyone else. Also many times if one person is faithful and the other is not, there is a double-standard. I have a male friend who cheats on his girlfriend who is carrying his child- A LOT....Yet he is in love and wants to give her the world, my contention is how can you give her the world when you can't give one simple thing she wants and that is faithfulness...... Sex may be sex, but once you sneak around and your partner, who believes they are in a monogamous relationship, have to find out vicariously- its an issue because you have lost number one (trust/honesty).

 

[AlteredEgo]

Abuse and selfishness.

 

[rob_just_rob]

Stress.

 

[atlclgurl]

Along with the usual deal breakers like manipulation and dishonesty (which includes cheating) I would have to add being stingy. I can't stand and won't be with someone who's cheap with their love, their affection and their money.

I don't care if your "splurge" is to get me a burger from my favorite joint or a ring from Tiffany's (I've had both), it's the generosity of spirit I cherish and won't live without.

 

[dolfette]

long term affair.
violence.
bigotry.
mistreating my kids.
loss of love.

 

[LaFemme]

Won't Know until it happens, and not making a list in the interim.

Kinda with hsarge here...I think relationships can survive a lot and should survive a lot more than they usually do. That being said, I do have a some deal breakers - violence toward me or my family/ sexual abuse toward me or my family; criminal acts or chronic drug/alcohol abuse where they refuse to seek help.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Abusiveness.

When we want such different things from our lives that the two things can't be reconciled (eg. if I want kids and he doesn't).

Acts that show them at heart to be a basically unkind or uncaring person. I ended my last LTR over a kitten that he didn't want me to keep. Might seem minor to some. To me it showed that he was unmoved by either my feelings or fuzzy baby animals. ie. It showed he was the kind of person I don't want to be with.

 

[BBB2.5]

Cheating is at the TOP.... It occurred only once in my past. He was my first LOVE, my first LTR, my first EVERYTHING. We were together over 7 years. He gave me HIV, as a result of his cheating. Today I am healthy and happy. My Partner and I have been together going on 13 years.

I tell my story, so people will be cautious, you don't have to have unprotected sex, with a lot of people. It only takes one, and in my case he was my first sexual partner EVER.....:wink:

As for the guy that cheated on ...he is dead.

 

[MonsterUncut]

Along with the usual deal breakers like manipulation and dishonesty (which includes cheating) I would have to add being stingy. I can't stand and won't be with someone who's cheap with their love, their affection and their money.

I don't care if your "splurge" is to get me a burger from my favorite joint or a ring from Tiffany's (I've had both), it's the generosity of spirit I cherish and won't live without.


Atlclgurl, you hit the nail on the head on the second paragraph. Nice, very nice!

Peace

 

[helgaleena]

mental and physical abuse

Good response. Agreed. Better than my first post here.:smile:

 

[atlclgurl]

Atlclgurl, you hit the nail on the head on the second paragraph. Nice, very nice!

Thank you, glad you agree!

 

[fangirl]

when eithor of us stops thinking of ourselves as seperate people sharing a life and starts thinking of each other as extensions of themselves. its one think to love another and to admire and even be inspired by your partner. its another thing to mirror your partner so closely that you are no longer are yourself.

if and when that happens, i have to leave.

 

[B_doogie888]

Along with the usual deal breakers like manipulation and dishonesty (which includes cheating) I would have to add being stingy. I can't stand and won't be with someone who's cheap with their love, their affection and their money.

I don't care if your "splurge" is to get me a burger from my favorite joint or a ring from Tiffany's (I've had both), it's the generosity of spirit I cherish and won't live without.

Is that you in your avatar? That girl is gorgeous!