What's the Funniest Thing You Have Overheard?

[Principessa]

What's the Funniest Thing You've Overheard?

Guy walking to rehearsal: I mean, he's really cute in that way that makes you want to hit him with a desk. --Steinhardt Building, NYU​

Middle school girl (about poster for condoms): Ewwww, at least they could've put cute gay guys! --Q train​

Overheard by: Robert​

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Obviously gay boy screaming into cell: Jeremy, why the fuck didn't you tell me the massage therapist you sent me to does erotic massage? All I wanted was a place to relax! (pause) Yeah, halfway through he started jacking me off! (pause) Seriously? He never did that to you? (pause) Don't be offended. You're cute. He just could probably tell I have a big dick and couldn't keep his hands off it. --Broadway & 20th St​

Dude to friends: Did I tell you guys about the girl that I hooked up with the other night? She totally looked like a beaver... (awkward silence) ...but I mean a really cute beaver. --Ace Bar, 5th St b/w Ave A & Ave B​

Overheard by: Santa's Boy Toy​

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Girl on cell: Tim's cute, I just wish he didn't love Jesus so much. --N Train​

 

[rickygNOLA]

So, is everyone excited to go to Honolulu?

--JFK Flight to San Francisco

(ok, so i heard that in a joke. still funny)

 

[Principessa]

Two teenage girls talking at Ocean County Mall circa 1992
Girl A: Leslie Nielsen is like the funniest 'new' comedic actor!
Girl B: I know and he's like hot for an old guy

 

[D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead]

This woman drops this bottle of vitamins on the floor of a store, and it shatters: "I thought it was plastic!"

9th grade gym teacher in the deep south: "Tai Chi, that's a type of tea they drink in some Asian countries."

 

[buddy629]

I was waiting at a bus stop in chicago, with a group of people, next to me were two african-american women, middle aged, kind of thick/chubby/plump, chating and laughing and carrying on...we start boarding the bus...the lady standing behind her friend says "girl...you MUST be hungry"....her friend,"why?"....replies, "cause you be eating your skirt"....as her friend says "oooo" and pulls her skirt out of her ass....Imagine a bunch of strangers on a bus, sharing a laugh. Good times

 

[debeli]

I was waiting at a bus stop in chicago, with a group of people, next to me were two african-american women, middle aged, kind of thick/chubby/plump, chating and laughing and carrying on...we start boarding the bus...the lady standing behind her friend says "girl...you MUST be hungry"....her friend,"why?"....replies, "cause you be eating your skirt"....as her friend says "oooo" and pulls her skirt out of her ass....Imagine a bunch of strangers on a bus, sharing a laugh. Good times

:smile::smile::smile:

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

I was waiting at a bus stop in chicago, with a group of people, next to me were two african-american women, middle aged, kind of thick/chubby/plump, chating and laughing and carrying on...we start boarding the bus...the lady standing behind her friend says "girl...you MUST be hungry"....her friend,"why?"....replies, "cause you be eating your skirt"....as her friend says "oooo" and pulls her skirt out of her ass....Imagine a bunch of strangers on a bus, sharing a laugh. Good times

That is absolutely hilarious.