What's The Longest You've Been 'Hung Up' On Someone?

The Dragon

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It's been 3.5 years.
The initial shock, horror and devistation and depression has slowed to a dull ache that is ever present.
My intellectual self knows that if he loved me he would still be with me.
My emotional self pines for him and the feelings he evoked inside of me.
Some times I can go for days without thinking of him and then someone will walk past wearing the same aftershave as him and I feel like I've been kicked in the guts.
Or "Our song" will play on the radio bringing tears to my eyes and unwanted memories racing back.
During this time my intellectual self will give me a verbal lambasting and be totally disgusted that we have gotten back on the machosistic mouse wheel of old regrets and misery.
He is the yard stick that all other encounters are measured against and found wanting.
I find myself wanting a new beu to workout...making tender, passionate, exciting sex and be so exhausted that I can bearly lift my head off the pillow only to find that there is still that vast emptyness inside that hasn't been filled and a vauge feeling of resentment that they aren't HIM.
I don't kid myself anymore...I would really love to have a relationship again but with the specter of this man still haunting me it would be unfair to the other party because I can't give all of myself to him.

I hope what I've written makes sense.
 

IntoxicatingToxin

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With someone I had previously dated, I would say about six months. It ended when I met someone new, otherwise it may have lasted longer, I can't say for sure. For someone that I was just crushing on and never got the chance to be with, it was about 8 years. I just got over that recently, and I still don't think it's completely gone. I don't think about him all the time anymore, though.
 

B_ScaredLittleBoy

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Thanks for reviving my thread.

I just broke my finger :redface: at least its really swollen and I cant bend it :(

Still hung up on her...even though I bet she never thinks about me and I know she never talks to me!
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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Still hung up on her...even though I bet she never thinks about me and I know she never talks to me!
This is the killing part!
For some reason I want to know that I still cross his mind, but doubt I do.

Two, almost three, years since we broke up and he's gone from being a fairly constant thought to only when something reminds me of him... which happens maybe once every month or two.

ETA: It hasn't prevented me from dating or moving on, though. I have never forgotten that he's a selfish, narcissistic, low self-esteem asshole. The hang up is because the good outweighed the bad, but the one bad thing was unforgivable.
 

the_reverend

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i know i still cross her mind every once in a while because we talk every few months or so. she had broken up with her new boyfriend a few months ago and we started talking more often and thinking about visiting each other and we both admitted we were still in love with each other after all this time. and she pretty much confessed at a few different points that the sex with him was nowhere near as good. knowing all of that made me smile. but our life circumstances right now are such that we can't really be together in any feasible way. and eventually she decided to give him a second chance (and i can't begrudge him that too much, since she gave me my fair share) so they're back together and we've gone back to not talking as much. but still...every once in a while...a call, a text, an e-mail. we touch base and try not to talk about how we really feel deep down inside because that just makes it harder but we both know. the words were said and they can't be unsaid.

we're thinking about getting a drink together around Christmas, when we'll both be in the same state again for the first time in over a year. it should be...interesting, one way or another. lol
 

Aitch

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It's my belief that if you've truly loved someone then they're in your heart forever...
 

ZOS23xy

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I've had a soft spot in my heart for a few people, so I can't say I'm over anyone. Over enough to move onto another girlfriend, but acknowledge that there was love and concern for someone else.

And still be able to help them if they ask.

Been Married 23 years. Guess I have gotten over some ache.