What's with HIV Positive guys always wanting to have bareback sex?

Discussion in 'The Healthy Penis' started by matt121matt121, Jan 18, 2012.

  1. matt121matt121

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    What's with HIV Positive guys always wanting to have bareback sex?

    Regardless of if their partners are negative.. and when the negative guy says he wants to use condoms.. then its a no go.. Particularly in the case of a pos top and a neg bttm.. Which puts the bottom negative guy at higher risk for transmission..

    And then they pull the whole. I've never infected anyone I've ever slept with crap.. How would they know? I doubt they stay in contact with everyone they've ever slept with..

    Or they pull the whole I'm on my meds and I'm undetectable angle? Along with saying that they are sure that i've slept with poz guys and just don't know it.. Its possible, but that would be the exact reason why I insist on playing safe..

    Is it really so much to ask for a guy to wear a condom if they want to hookup?

    NOTE: I don't mean this post in a bad way, or a hateful way at all.. I have multiple positive friends.. and I know that many of them got it in unfortunate ways.. And several of them have the attitudes expressed here, where they take their poz status as permission to have a bareback sex with all their partners, regardless of their negative status.. and ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to wear condoms..
     
  2. Slayter

    Slayter New Member

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    vomit.
     
  3. ManlyBanisters

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    You don't mean it in a bad or hateful way? Really? I think you might need to work on your definitions of 'bad' and 'hateful'.

    Just from the HIV Positive men I know here I know that HIV Positive guys don't always want to have bareback sex regardless of partner status. Most of the guys here that have talked about it practice serosorting so what you're talking about isn't an issue anyway.

    I'm not saying your experience of this attitude is false - I'm just saying your choice of wording that suggests this applies to all HIV Positive men is bad and hateful, whether you intended it to be or not.
     
  4. epi_sin

    epi_sin New Member

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    :confused:

    "The extent to which serosorting protects HIV-uninfected MSM from acquiring HIV is uncertain. Prospective studies have associated HIV acquisition with having unprotected anal intercourse (UAI) with partners that study subjects believe are HIV uninfected[21] and with the number of HIV-uninfected partners a participant reports.[22] These findings suggest that serosorting does not eliminate the risk of HIV acquisition. In particular, serosorting may fail if people misreport their HIV status, either because they do not know they are infected or because they knowingly mislead partners.[13] Although the limits of serosorting remain ill defined, a mathematical modeling study evaluating the risk of HIV acquisition associated with serosorting suggested that because of the high risk of HIV transmission during the period after initial HIV acquisition, the practice may be more risky than having sex with persons with known, long-standing HIV infection.[23] "
    from Medscape Today 2009

    Like the OP, my personal experience is also that HIV+ men are more likely to expect unsafe sex than those who are not…

    "You look healthy – let's fuck bare" or its equivalent, is a phrase I hear far too often. It's delusional in the extreme.
     
  5. ManlyBanisters

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    If you are going to quote you need to cite your source - that's a link usually - it's the rules around here.

    That aside, I wasn't talking about HIV negative men serosorting - I was talking about the HIV positive guys I know from here, they to only have sex (condoms or not) with other confirmed HIV positive partners.

    What you quote there is about HIV negative men getting infected from having sex with partners who either know their status and lie or don't know their status.
     
  6. matt121matt121

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    I never meant to imply that all HIV positive guys were like this.. And for that I am sorry.. I am sure there are many out there who do practice safe sexual behaviours and play it even safer when they are with a negative person.

    Serosorting? is that where poz guys only have sex with other poz guys? or is it more detailed than that were they only have sex with people who have the same strains of hiv as them? particularly when they wish to have sex bare.

    Just noticed you answered this already:
    I have NO issues with guys who are positive, and who wish to participate in sex without condoms.. my issue has been when guys who are positive want to have sex with negative people without condoms, and then freak out on them when they don't want to do it bare, and give the multiple reasons i posted in my original post
     
    #6 matt121matt121, Jan 18, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2012
  7. matt121matt121

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    Wouldn't your quote be from the negative guys point of view making it be the negative guy that wants to have sex with the positive guy? Or maybe he doesn't know the guy is poz..

    You can't tell hiv status by how someone looks.. I've heard guys say they can, but that's basically just conjecture and risks starting rumours..
     
  8. jp

    jp
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    I do believe that criticism is due when HIV positive men are engaging in bareback sex. We all make choices, and some choices are better than others, and if you're tempted to argue that it's all relative, I can confidently say that the choice to avoid what is arguably a terminal illness is the better choice. We're not talking food preferences here.

    Everyone is free to live how they want, but if that choice flippantly spreads a disease that can be avoided, they should be prepared for some scrutiny. Also I'm pretty sure it's a crime to infect someone when you've failed to disclose your status.

    I acknowledge that some men have become positive because of dishonest lovers, and for that I'm sorry, I think it is a tragedy. But one must use that experience to choose to stop the spreading.

    Just my 2 cents.
     
  9. ladsonbehr49

    ladsonbehr49 Member

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    I see mens profiles that are saying exactly what the op has said. Bareback and hiv positive personally I think they have lost their minds but hey we all makes choices in life. Some bad and some even worse.

    look on some gay websites and look at the personals and you tell me.

    and some gay men are known as bug chasers and google it..it exists and wish it did not.
     
  10. buffaloboy

    buffaloboy Active Member

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    It's unclear to me what the issue is here. If someone tells you they have HIV and you don't want unprotected sex, then don't. It really is as simple as that.
     
  11. matt121matt121

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    The issue is why do they want it so bad all the time?

    any why is it such an issue to wear a condom if they want to have sex with a guy who is negative?

    Also the way in which poz guys try to make you feel bad for not wanting to have unprotected bare sex with them, by trying to tell you that they've never infected anyone, or that there is no risk since their on their meds and technically undetectable.
     
  12. D_Harry_Scholnga

    D_Harry_Scholnga New Member

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    Wear a rubber, negative or positive, you don't know where his dick has been and what's been up that hole. No man is hot enough to risk shortening your life by many years. NO MAN.

    If someone is found to be positive and deliberately having unprotected sex, I think insurance support of his treatment should be suspended immediately. The same goes for anyone willing to open their ass knowingly to a positive man. You take the risk, you lose, you pay for it however you can.
     
  13. buffaloboy

    buffaloboy Active Member

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    Why don't you pose these questions to the people who want you to do it?
     
  14. matt121matt121

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    Harsh but well spoken..

    Its people that act irresponsibly that are continuing the spread of the virus ensuring that it will be around for many many many years to come..

    and no one really knows what happens to the human body being on the drugs for 20/40/60 years.. it can't be good..
     
  15. matt121matt121

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    I have.. and they always just kinda go crazy on you..

    and make you feel like your discriminating against them since you won't let them fuck you bare..

    by saying the shit about its not transferable since its undetectable, I'm on my meds.. I've never infected anyone.. etc. etc..
     
  16. buffaloboy

    buffaloboy Active Member

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    It sounds like you obviously don't want to have unprotected sex with them so just leave it at that and move on.
     
  17. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    I don't know whom you've met or what kind of incredibly selfish, irresponsible people you've known, but no one I do who's positive would ever ask much less insist upon such a thing. Quite the opposite; I know a number who've been begged by a bottom not to use a condom using the same arguments: "But you're healthy, right? And you said your virus is undetectable!" Apparently, because "it would be so much hotter".

    In point of fact, although all of my friends and acquaintances have a strict condom-only rule (with the exception of longer-term couples in which both have tested either negative or positive), I have a number of positive friends who will not have sex with someone negative under any circumstances.
     
  18. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

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    spot on
     
  19. matt121matt121

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    And the point of this reply was? It has nothing to do with the post.


    Well that's good that there are some responsible positive guys..

    I wonder if those bottoms who were pressuring them were doing so because they are bug chasers... That's a mentality I've never understood, but on topic for this thread..

    They won't have sex with someone negative even with disclosure and a condom? That seems kind of odd to me.. I mean as long as their is disclosure and a condom the decision should be up to the two guys involved..

    I know this is partially what causes guys to have the bug chaser mentality.. to just get it over with, so they feel as though they have a bareback sex license.. So they don't have to worry about it anymore.. Though this mentality completely throws out the window all the other STD's, and the issues with acquiring multiple strains of hiv issues..
     
  20. thebesthotsex

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    I see it as misery loves company. They are angry with the world for giving them HIV so they feel no personal responsibility to prevent anyone else from getting infected. There's an obscene amount of blogs out there specifically devoted to positive guys who count the amount of loads they give and receive and blog all about it. It's utterly disgusting. There are even some negative guys out there that post ads requesting rendezvous with positive guys to plant their loads in them and infect them because they feel they will be inevitably infected one way or another in their lifetime so they just want to get it over with. Sex is so important to them that they are willing to die for it. It's a total disrespect for life.
     
    #20 thebesthotsex, Jan 18, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2012
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