What's with HIV Positive guys always wanting to have bareback sex?

[arthur]

There's a big can worms being opened up here and I'll stick with op's 'experience' with HIV+ men 'always' refusing to wear a condom. You need to broaden your database of HIV+ men as the ones that I know always insist on wearing a condom? Widen your search mate.

 

[matt121matt121]

I see it as misery loves company. They are angry with the world for giving them HIV so they feel no personal responsibility to prevent anyone else from getting infected. There's an obscene amount of blogs out there specifically devoted to positive guys who count the amount of loads they give and receive and blog all about it. It's utterly disgusting. There are even some negative guys out there that post ads requesting rendezvous with positive guys to plant their loads in them and infect them because they feel they will be inevitably infected one way or another in their lifetime so they just want to get it over with. Sex is so important to them that they are willing to die for it. It's a total disrespect for life.

I knew about the neg guys specifically trying to become positive, and that they have parties from time to time with the specific goal for the poz guys to cum inside the neg guys.. I'll never understand this mental mentality.. But least they are making a concious choice I guess whatever their reasons may be.

I've never heard about blogs of poz guys counting their loads before

There's a big can worms being opened up here and I'll stick with op's 'experience' with HIV+ men 'always' refusing to wear a condom. You need to broaden your database of HIV+ men as the ones that I know always insist on wearing a condom? Widen your search mate.

I never meant to imply that HIV+ men are all like that.. I'm sure there are many that do in fact play safe and care about the safety and health of all their sexual partners no matter if they are negative or positive or their status is unknown.

I just know I've run into it on MULTIPLE MULTIPLE occasions.. I personally have never yet meet or talked to a positive guy who was like "I'm positive, but if we have sex we will always play safe"

 

[buffaloboy]

And the point of this reply was? It has nothing to do with the post.
Well that's good that there are some responsible positive guys..

Of course there are responsible positive guys. That should go without saying.

In fact, the evidence shows that men diagnosed with HIV are not the primary group responsible for infecting others, deliberately or otherwise:

''The group least likely to be responsible for HIV transmission to main or casual partners were men with diagnosed HIV infection.''

http://www.aidsmap.com/US-gay-men-m...ion-from-men-with-diagnosed-HIV/page/1434453/

 

[701757]

This thread is so much win.

 

[matt121matt121]

Of course there are responsible positive guys. That should go without saying.

I wonder if guys are more responsible in the UK than the US..

As i mentioned in a prior post: "I just know I've run into it on MULTIPLE MULTIPLE occasions.. I personally have never yet meet or talked to a positive guy who was like "I'm positive, but if we have sex we will always play safe""

 

[buffaloboy]

I wonder if guys are more responsible in the UK than the US..

As i mentioned in a prior post: "I just know I've run into it on MULTIPLE MULTIPLE occasions.. I personally have never yet meet or talked to a positive guy who was like "I'm positive, but if we have sex we will always play safe""

I'm not suggesting this has not been your experience, but it certainly hasn't been mine, and neither is it supported by research.

 

[matt121matt121]

I'm not suggesting this has not been your experience, but it certainly hasn't been mine, and neither is it supported by research.

From your research:
Of the HIV transmissions from main partners, 46% were from individuals believed to be HIV-negative, with 38% from partners of unknown status, and 16% from partners who were known to be HIV-positive. The bulk (63%) of HIV transmissions from casual partners were from partners of unknown status. The investigators also found that more infections occurred from casual partners thought to be HIV-negative (24%) than HIV-positive (16%).

Guys not knowing their status, and not getting tested regularly is definitely a HUGE problem.. But is not the topic of this post..

Or guys lying about their status with their "casual" partners.. Since if guys hookup via like grindr in a bathhouse or something, its not there's a way for the guys to track down their past partners, and most times don't even know their names.

 

[D_CountVonBhigBohner]

You should be more selective with who you consider friends. Perhaps they feel they are positive and don't care about others becoming infected? Perhaps they just ignore the disease. Either way, it's an integrity issue and I suggest choosing your friends more carefully.

I never meant to imply that all HIV positive guys were like this.. And for that I am sorry.. I am sure there are many out there who do practice safe sexual behaviours and play it even safer when they are with a negative person.

Serosorting? is that where poz guys only have sex with other poz guys? or is it more detailed than that were they only have sex with people who have the same strains of hiv as them? particularly when they wish to have sex bare.

Just noticed you answered this already:

I have NO issues with guys who are positive, and who wish to participate in sex without condoms.. my issue has been when guys who are positive want to have sex with negative people without condoms, and then freak out on them when they don't want to do it bare, and give the multiple reasons i posted in my original post

 

[rbkwp]

Topic related

pete mwai nz infected - Google Search


Peter Mwai, a Kenyan musician, was charged in October 1993 with a number ... of Africa" which has been imported to infect the bodies of New Zealand women.

.he was eventually deported back to his home country, where he died soon after.
Met the guy, and could easily see how women would have been attracted to him.

Another i am not sure of, think he happened to be Gay, two that i am aware of that have been thru the courts.
I assume there have been many similar cases World Wide.

 

[matt121matt121]

You should be more selective with who you consider friends. Perhaps they feel they are positive and don't care about others becoming infected? Perhaps they just ignore the disease. Either way, it's an integrity issue and I suggest choosing your friends more carefully.

well i know to some its a self destructive type behaviour, particularly when they are already positive and have other guys breed them..

And to others its the don't care whats the point of living attitude..

and then others do it since they feel like once they have hiv that they can do whatever they want in the bedroom

really only one of my friends has this attitude.. this post was prompted by a conversation with a guy who's been trying to get me to sleep with him for over a year.. who just doesn't seem to give a shit about anyone but himself.. and is knowingly pos and just wants to fuck as many guys as possible and bare is the only option.. no matter the case I'd never sleep with him just because of his attitude..

if i meet a guy dating wise who just happen to be positive, i honestly don't know what I'd do.. i'll deal with that when the time comes.. it would just take a special connection.. something that definitely doesn't happen with a hookup.. and no matter how special the connection we'd always be practising safe sex..

 

[D_CountVonBhigBohner]

Dude, the title of your thread is ?What's with HIV Positive guys always wanting to have bareback sex?", and now you are saying it's only one of your friends.

Stop wasting everyone's time....

well i know to some its a self destructive type behaviour, particularly when they are already positive and have other guys breed them..

And to others its the don't care whats the point of living attitude..

and then others do it since they feel like once they have hiv that they can do whatever they want in the bedroom

really only one of my friends has this attitude.. this post was prompted by a conversation with a guy who's been trying to get me to sleep with him for over a year.. who just doesn't seem to give a shit about anyone but himself.. and is knowingly pos and just wants to fuck as many guys as possible and bare is the only option.. no matter the case I'd never sleep with him just because of his attitude..

if i meet a guy dating wise who just happen to be positive, i honestly don't know what I'd do.. i'll deal with that when the time comes.. it would just take a special connection.. something that definitely doesn't happen with a hookup.. and no matter how special the connection we'd always be practising safe sex..

 

[matt121matt121]

Dude, the title of your thread is ?What's with HIV Positive guys always wanting to have bareback sex?", and now you are saying it's only one of your friends.

Stop wasting everyone's time....

I said only one person I consider to be a FRIEND has this attidude.. There have been MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY guys who are NOT FRIENDS that do have this attitude..

So it is not a one person issue.. and there have been several other comments, saying that other people have had similar experiences so I am not alone..

And when you say stop wasting everyone's time, what's the point of a message board if no one starts new topics..

It is your choice to read them and to participate.. If you feel the topic is a waste of time, then the answer is simple.. Just don't click on it!!

 

[buffaloboy]

From your research:
Of the HIV transmissions from main partners, 46% were from individuals believed to be HIV-negative, with 38% from partners of unknown status, and 16% from partners who were known to be HIV-positive. The bulk (63%) of HIV transmissions from casual partners were from partners of unknown status. The investigators also found that more infections occurred from casual partners thought to be HIV-negative (24%) than HIV-positive (16%).

Guys not knowing their status, and not getting tested regularly is definitely a HUGE problem.. But is not the topic of this post..

Or guys lying about their status with their "casual" partners.. Since if guys hookup via like grindr in a bathhouse or something, its not there's a way for the guys to track down their past partners, and most times don't even know their names.

But you're talking about guys who are telling you they are positive so the guys who are lying or not disclosing aren't relevant to this discussion.

 

[concupisys]

i find this thread to be quite interesting because i don't participate in any kind of anal play.... like, just the issue of not having anal sex (bareback or not) in general has its own sea of problems, and they are very similar to the ones pertaining to this topic....

it's very hard to completely understand why certain mentalities and preferences of people with HIV (or those who choose to 'chase' it) exist.... i guess depending on age (ie: those who were around for the HIV armageddon vs. those who weren't), how a person has been infected, and the extremes in which some people choose to practice sex are the biggest factors.... when so many different attitudes which have been created through so many different paths and choices are all put together, there is inevitably going to be some major conflicts.... having used dating and hookup websites for several years, i've read countless profiles which completely validate the points that the OP is trying to make.... but sadly: this is just one deal breaker of many, albeit a very tragic one....

 

[buffaloboy]

I think the OP would have got off to a better start if he'd titled the thread ' 'What's with SOME HIV Positive guys always wanting to have bareback sex?

 

[matt121matt121]

I think the OP would have got off to a better start if he'd titled the thread ' 'What's with SOME HIV Positive guys always wanting to have bareback sex?

I have already apologized for this.. it has just been my experience with them..

As I've said over and over I have yet to meet a poz guy that was like I'm poz, but i care about you and we will be sure that we always play safe..

I never meant to make a complete and total generalization that all guys in the entire country/world are like that..

 

[FRE]

What's with HIV Positive guys always wanting to have bareback sex?

Regardless of if their partners are negative.. and when the negative guy says he wants to use condoms.. then its a no go.. Particularly in the case of a pos top and a neg bttm.. Which puts the bottom negative guy at higher risk for transmission..

And then they pull the whole. I've never infected anyone I've ever slept with crap.. How would they know? I doubt they stay in contact with everyone they've ever slept with..

Or they pull the whole I'm on my meds and I'm undetectable angle? Along with saying that they are sure that i've slept with poz guys and just don't know it.. Its possible, but that would be the exact reason why I insist on playing safe..

Is it really so much to ask for a guy to wear a condom if they want to hookup?

NOTE: I don't mean this post in a bad way, or a hateful way at all.. I have multiple positive friends.. and I know that many of them got it in unfortunate ways.. And several of them have the attitudes expressed here, where they take their poz status as permission to have a bareback sex with all their partners, regardless of their negative status.. and ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to wear condoms..

So you are actually friends with guys who are so callous that they would put HIV- guys at high risk of becoming positive? If they are that irresponsible with HIV, they are irresponsible in other ways too.

Although I wouldn't expect all my friends to have exactly the same sense of values that I have, I would not want to have anything to do with someone who displays total indifference to the health, life, and welfare of other people.

 

[matt121matt121]

So you are actually friends with guys who are so callous that they would put HIV- guys at high risk of becoming positive? If they are that irresponsible with HIV, they are irresponsible in other ways too.

Although I wouldn't expect all my friends to have exactly the same sense of values that I have, I would not want to have anything to do with someone who displays total indifference to the health, life, and welfare of other people.

No I am not.. I know one guy who i would consider to be a friend who is positive and acts irresponsibly by having bare sex even though he's positive.. However to my knowledge he always discloses this.. And I knew him before he was positive.

This post was mostly referring to experience with guys online who wish to meet up..

 

[buffaloboy]

Why don't you just write on your profile(s) 'No bare backing'?

But, I have to say, in spite of being on numerous hook sites for a number years and having many profiles I've never been hassled to have unprotected sex so I don't see this as being an issue.

 

[concupisys]

people, stop with all your drivel picking apart the OP's statements! stick with the issue here.... he is obviously not the only one to have these opinions or feelings, and the OP's story is just one of many.....