What's With Men "Owning" Women Sexually

[Nekoman]

This is a question for women first, and men second.

Lately, I've noticed a few mentions of a guy "owning" a woman sexually during a particular video scene. I don't totally get it. What are the posters trying to tell me.

That the man so totally dominated the woman physically that she came 9 times and, therefore became his slave?

I think this is a women's issue because it reflects a certain male attitude in sexual politics.

So, for the women, have you ever been "owned" during sex? Or is this just a male fantasy delusion? Do you resent the term as used, or is it truthful?

 

[ManlyBanisters]

I think this is really just an overflow of the gaming / internet concept of 'ownage'.

Urban Dictionary: ownage

There is no actual notion of ownership involving in 'owning' someone in this sense. And I see quite a lot of reference here to female porn stars 'owning' there male co-stars too. For example I seem to recall a thread along the lines of '4'11 girl owns Mandingo'.

Yes, it is about domineering sex. But it cuts both ways, or it certainly can.

 

[Mrmaxwell]

The above poster is right about the who dominates the sexual act part.

 

[thirstygirl]

I like being dominated. My husband "owning" me during sex is hot. I love giving in to him totally. It's the ultimate trust level for me.
Ownership never leaves our house, it's not like I'm being led around on a leash at the mall. (now that I think of it, that's kind of hot too.)

 

[Nekoman]

So it's a dominant/submissive thing many times?

 

[molotovmuffin]

no.. more like giving up control.

 

[dolfette]

ha! pity the fool who thinks he owns me.

 

[Nekoman]

no.. more like giving up control.

Uh, not to split semantical hairs, but, isn't "giving up control" the definition of submissive?

 

[dolfette]

Uh, not to split semantical hairs, but, isn't "giving up control" the definition of submissive?

could just be being passive...or lazy.
i like to think of it as lazy.
i'm a lazy bitch!

 

[PrincessBlueEyez]

I like being "dominated". My husband "owning" me during sex is hot. I love giving in to him totally. It's the ultimate trust level for me.
Ownership never leaves our house, it's not like I'm being led around on a leash at the mall.

I completely agree, the guy should be the one "in charge" in bed, not saying that he can do whatever he wants, but I think of it more as he does whats best for both of us in bed, and we're both satisfied. He figures out what I like (either by asking or observing) and then he "guides the ship" lol.

I dont like the idea of telling the guy do this, do that, you're not doing it right, etc, but its certainly not like im just laying there expecting him to do all the work

The best part of sex/making love to me is the two people connecting and being able to communicate without words, might sound lame, but I love it, lol

 

[Nekoman]

I completely agree, the guy should be the one "in charge" in bed, not saying that he can do whatever he wants, but I think of it more as he does whats best for both of us in bed, and we're both satisfied. He figures out what I like (either by asking or observing) and then he "guides the ship" lol.

I dont like the idea of telling the guy do this, do that, you're not doing it right, etc, but its certainly not like im just laying there expecting him to do all the work

The best part of sex/making love to me is the two people connecting and being able to communicate without words, might sound lame, but I love it, lol

How would you feel about him telling you "I owned you last night..."?

 

[PrincessBlueEyez]

How would you feel about him telling you "I owned you last night..."?

He'd get kicked out

 

[helgaleena]

I submit sometimes but I am not 'owned' in that way. That is because I do not think loss of self control is sexy. I choose to feel my pleasure, with a partner's help. And sometimes they come to me for help of that type too. But if they refuse to enjoy something that they have enjoyed on other occasions, that also is their choice.

If someone who has just led me into submissive pleasure were to say 'I own you now' it would bother me quite a lot. I might even leave.

Being married was as close to slavery as I ever want to come. And it is not where i am now.

 

[Nekoman]

He'd get kicked out

That's what I'm talking about! I think it's the language that's offensive... more than the actions, it seems.

 

[Sergeant_Torpedo]

Men who think about women in ownership terms are usually insecure, have little social status. Presidents and wicked PMs and generals can command and control millions, a sad bastard who proclaims he "owns" a woman is to be avoided. Though some sadder females take refuge with such men.

 

[Nekoman]

Men who think about women in ownership terms are usually insecure, have little social status. Presidents and wicked PMs and generals can command and control millions, a sad bastard who proclaims he "owns" a woman is to be avoided. Though some sadder females take refuge with such men.

Is this what the guys mean when they say the "owned" her during sex?

I don't know if it implies possession, or merely super-dominance?

 

[helgaleena]

It implies insecure boasting, certainly, which would insult the woman if she were listening.

 

[3664shaken]

He'd get kicked out

I read your first post and was about to blast you for it, but then I read this one.

Your cool. :wink:

 

[molotovmuffin]

Uh, not to split semantical hairs, but, isn't "giving up control" the definition of submissive?

no

 

[MTHgasm]

I think it means sometimes that the man has the woman so sexually satisfied that she would do anything to keep him giving it to her. I highly doubt most women, even if they are sexually addicted in this way, would want to be told that they are owned because after a while they might want his approval/acceptance (because she gave him so much sex and her feelings) as an equal but saying he owns her would mean that he would never see her as his equal. Own is a strong and strange word.