what's wrong with being single?

[B_debonair87]

I've realized that friends and family have been giving me a lot of flack latelty for not being in a relationship. I fail to see the problem.


I'm only 24 and right now my focus is my future. I take my goals and finding success very seriously and want no distractions. Plus I didn't move to ny to find love, i came here to find success and bang as many hot chicks as I can. Plus iwith work and various other things going on in life I just don't have time for anyone else.


I have friends who are married or are in relationships they hate and I believe they get into these relationships due to their fear of being alone. None of that bothers me at all. I was born alone and imma die alone. And you can have a wife and kids and all the friends in the world and still feel alone. It doesn't bother me at all if I never get married and I truly don't care that much to have kids. I'm cool with being a bachelor for life.


*end of rant*

 

[monel]

Nothing at all. For many it may be the perfect relationship.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

If you don't care to share your life with someone else... that's fine... most people who want to see you in a relationship are people who project onto you their own feelings... most people assume other people see and respond to the world the same way they do.

So, first off... understand they want to see you happy, and they are the kind of people who are happiest with someone specific to share their lives with.

Secondly, be aware that MOST of the hot babes you are banging are actually in the market for real relationship, and be responsible in that you do not take advantage or hurt people, just to add notches to your bedpost.

Third of all... I hate to break it to you, but if you think brief encounters with girls who are strangers is hot sex... then you have a lot to learn. Novelty and Variety can be fun...but it is very seldom really great sex... nowhere near the level of sexual heat that can develop between a couple well matched, who have a year or two of experience with each other, who know each others bodies and fantasies and actively employ that knowledge to pleasure a partner they feel deep attachment to.


Forthly; Right now you are young and healthy and having a good time.... but that will change. You will get older, your ambitions will get scaled back to the reality of what your talents, and outside circumstances and time allow, and you will find out that there is far more to life than indulging yourself. Be prepared for change, and recognize that there will probably come a time when your wild bachelor life becomes wearing... The key to a really satisfying life is to be able to realize when letting go of something is actually growth.

And lastly... If you think being a bachelor improves your chances for success, you are quite simply, wrong.
Married men, or men in settled long term relationships outperform single men in every aspect of success.

This is largely because of the time, energy, attention, and money that single men spend finding and getting woman after woman.
Also because having two incomes, and two people to share the load of living expenses, chores, and goals is simply more efficient and brings greater resources to bear on attainment.

Personnel managers know this from statistics. Married men get more and better promotions because they are done playing and ready to buckle down, and they have the emotional support and motivation to provide that only comes from having others depending upon you.

 

[Remington]

This is largely because of the time, energy, attention, and money that single men spend finding and getting woman after woman.
Also because having two incomes, and two people to share the load of living expenses, chores, and goals is simply more efficient and brings greater resources to bear on attainment.

I'd also like to add, married people generally have to pay less in taxes, if they decide to file jointly. Among other things.

 

[AlphaMale]

Although I'm in a relationship, I totally agree with the OP. You shouldn't force anything and a person will know whether or not they really want to be in a relationship.

I'm in a relationship because I found the right person to be with. Most people are in relationships for all the wrong reasons (both dating and marriage).

The typical "straight" reason to be in a relationship is so that people don't think you're "gay". Hate me for saying it, but that is the reason for most "straight" relationships nowadays.

 

[monel]

The typical "straight" reason to be in a relationship is so that people don't think you're "gay". Hate me for saying it, but that is the reason for most "straight" relationships nowadays.

That's just not true.

 

[Countryguy63]

{snip}I'm in a relationship because I found the right person to be with. {snip}

Who's the Lucky person?? :tongue:

 

[Remington]

The typical "straight" reason to be in a relationship is so that people don't think you're "gay". Hate me for saying it, but that is the reason for most "straight" relationships nowadays.

I wouldn't say that...

Regardless of sexuality, some people would rather be in a romantic relationship than single, or "alone", regardless of how that relationship is working. Or they have loads of peer pressure from their social group to be in a romantic relationship, regardless of if they want to be in one, or not. Or, purely a relationship of convenience, whatever that convenience may be. This is just from what I have seen.

I'll say that some people are in a relationship just to "prove" that they are straight (or gay, for that matter), but most? Nah....

 

[hockeysweat]

Absolutely nothing. Live in a manner that is true to yourself.

According to Miss Manners, the best response to nosy questions like that is "How kind of you to take an interest. Lovely weather we're having, eh?"

 

[Redwyvre]

Hmmm... Seems fairly normal to me to be single until you fall in love with someone...just saying.

 

[D_DickBWreth]

Yeah I can't truly see myself ever not being single. I have shitty empathy.

 

[Gecko4lif]

Nothing at all. For many it may be the perfect relationship.

Perfect post.

 

[Catharsis]

My family always give me a hard time about having another girlfriend... it really annoys me. I don't really know why they care so much, my grandparents always ask me if I have a girlfriend yet and ask me why in not with someone. And them every time I talk to a girl my parents wonder if anything is going on with her. No, she's just a friend...

Mind you, im also trying to focus on my future and im not out banging hot chicks. While I want to be in a relationship, for some reason it annoys me that my family want the same thing. I just want to take it at my own pace and it seems like they want me to marry and have kids right when I graduate from college.

 

[EllieP]

Debonair, you're young and ready to take on the world. That's great! Nobody should make you feel like you need to be in a relationship, unless they're the one who wants to be in a relationship with you. In that case they have every right to make you feel like you need to be in a relationship, especially if it's one of those hot babes you're banging (geesh).

I got married at 17. Had a baby at 18. Divorced at 20. Bad relationship but good results. I swore I was going to be single for the rest of my life just like you. Didn't need a man to make me whole, and I sure didn't need to be banging hot hunks.

Guess what? This asshole knocks me off my feet and makes me fall madly in love with him, and all of a sudden my confirmed bachelorettehood is right out the window. Just like that.

I'm still married to that asshole and plan to be for a long, long, long time, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't need to be married to him - I want to be.

 

[dolfette]

people who are scared of doing something themselves will fear for others in that situation.
the world is full of people who are scared of being alone.
the world is also full of people in utterly shitty relationships because they are scared of being alone.

 

[AlphaMale]

Who's the Lucky person?? :tongue:

:wink:

That's just not true.

It's more prevalent than you probably think. People are scared as hell of being called the "g" word. Especially in the teenage to mid thirties age range. In America at least. Probably from all the societal brainwashing.

I wouldn't say that...

Regardless of sexuality, some people would rather be in a romantic relationship than single, or "alone", regardless of how that relationship is working. Or they have loads of peer pressure from their social group to be in a romantic relationship, regardless of if they want to be in one, or not. Or, purely a relationship of convenience, whatever that convenience may be. This is just from what I have seen.

I'll say that some people are in a relationship just to "prove" that they are straight (or gay, for that matter), but most? Nah....

I agree that most people don't want to be alone, but you don't have to be in a romantic relationship (or any relationship for that matter) to not be alone. I also agree with you on the peer pressure issue, but what's the heart of the matter when it comes to that kind of peer pressure? I think the answer is that the people applying the pressure are implying the person (man or woman) is not manly or womanly enough to attract a mate of the opposite sex (hence the, "So... are you gay?" implication that usually follows that type of peer pressure).

I really just meant that a good amount of relationships (in my opinion) come about simply to "prove something" (could be to prove they are "straight"... could be to prove something else), rather than out of genuine love for each other.

 

[D_Holden_Maballs]

If you don't care to share your life with someone else... that's fine... most people who want to see you in a relationship are people who project onto you their own feelings... most people assume other people see and respond to the world the same way they do.

So, first off... understand they want to see you happy, and they are the kind of people who are happiest with someone specific to share their lives with.

Secondly, be aware that MOST of the hot babes you are banging are actually in the market for real relationship, and be responsible in that you do not take advantage or hurt people, just to add notches to your bedpost.

Third of all... I hate to break it to you, but if you think brief encounters with girls who are strangers is hot sex... then you have a lot to learn. Novelty and Variety can be fun...but it is very seldom really great sex... nowhere near the level of sexual heat that can develop between a couple well matched, who have a year or two of experience with each other, who know each others bodies and fantasies and actively employ that knowledge to pleasure a partner they feel deep attachment to.


Forthly; Right now you are young and healthy and having a good time.... but that will change. You will get older, your ambitions will get scaled back to the reality of what your talents, and outside circumstances and time allow, and you will find out that there is far more to life than indulging yourself. Be prepared for change, and recognize that there will probably come a time when your wild bachelor life becomes wearing... The key to a really satisfying life is to be able to realize when letting go of something is actually growth.

And lastly... If you think being a bachelor improves your chances for success, you are quite simply, wrong.
Married men, or men in settled long term relationships outperform single men in every aspect of success.

This is largely because of the time, energy, attention, and money that single men spend finding and getting woman after woman.
Also because having two incomes, and two people to share the load of living expenses, chores, and goals is simply more efficient and brings greater resources to bear on attainment.

Personnel managers know this from statistics. Married men get more and better promotions because they are done playing and ready to buckle down, and they have the emotional support and motivation to provide that only comes from having others depending upon you.

All very good points. Well said.

 

[D_Holden_Maballs]

Although I'm in a relationship, I totally agree with the OP. You shouldn't force anything and a person will know whether or not they really want to be in a relationship.

I'm in a relationship because I found the right person to be with. Most people are in relationships for all the wrong reasons (both dating and marriage).

The typical "straight" reason to be in a relationship is so that people don't think you're "gay". Hate me for saying it, but that is the reason for most "straight" relationships nowadays.

I have spoken to you before, and I value your opinion and what you contribute in chat/forums, but I have to disagree with this statement. There is no way of knowing what the intentions are of a relationship, let alone EVERYONE'S intentions. Secondly, and with all due respect, making this statement would be tantamount to me saying I know why gay guys are in relationships. For me to make that assumption would be ridiculous, in my humble opinion.

 

[wallyj84]

I think most people think that if you aren't in a relationship, it's because there is something wrong with you. For example, you're too ugly to get a girlfriend, have personality issues that prevent you from emotionally bonding with someone or that you're secretly gay.

 

[AlphaMale]

I have spoken to you before, and I value your opinion and what you contribute in chat/forums, but I have to disagree with this statement. There is no way of knowing what the intentions are of a relationship, let alone EVERYONE'S intentions. Secondly, and with all due respect, making this statement would be tantamount to me saying I know why gay guys are in relationships. For me to make that assumption would be ridiculous, in my humble opinion.

I guess the word "most" has got people up in arms.

How about if I amended the statement to say:

"A typical "straight" reason to be in a relationship is so that people don't (won't) think you're "gay". Hate me for saying it, but that is the reason for a lot of "straight" relationships nowadays."

Is it so outlandish now?

==

Also, I wouldn't quite say that there are "no way of knowing what the intentions are of a relationship". Most of the of the time they are pretty obvious actually. Probably even more so from the outside looking in.